BROKEN SERIES 1: Sweet Sorrow

Sweet Sorrow 2

Chapter 2

Nasa huli nga talaga ang pagsisi. At naniniwala ako dun, no one will be hurt by their actions if they only knew that regrets comes later.

Who would have thought that, because I outstretched my hand to him, it will end to my greatest heartache. That it will be the deepest pain I'll ever encounter in my life. And sad to say, I didn't even do a single thing to stop the pain. I choosed to be broken for him.

There's a heavy rain, nakatayo lamang ako sa waiting shade na katabi ng guard's post. Nababasa na din maski ang upuan nito at ayaw kong madumihan ang uniform ko. Tinignan ko ang relo sa bisig ko, it's past 5 already. Kaya kakaunti na lang ang mga nagsisilabasan na mga students dahil sa malakas na bagsak ng ulan. Lumingon ako sa eskuwelahan namin, at nakita ko na mejo marami-rami naman ang mga nakatambay sa hallway dahil ayaw mabasa. Tiningnan ko ang sapatos ko, maski iyon ay nababasa na din pero hindi ko ito binigyan ng pansin, instead imilabas ko ang headset ko at nagplay ng kanta. Might as well wait for our driver since nandito naman na ako sa labas.

Nakareceive ako ng isang message kaya binasa ko ito.

From: Courtney
We're home. Ikaw??

Binigyan ko siya ng mensahe pabalik ngunit hindi ko sinabi na nasa school pa ako dahil baka mag-alala pa ang mga ito.

To: Courtney
I'm almost home. Enjoy your dinner. Send my regards to tita.

Itinago ko ulit ang cellphone ko saka patuloy na nakinig sa music. Nang ilang sandali, may umupo sa bench. Hindi ko ito nilingon, ayaw kong makipag-usap muna sa mga kaklase ko o kakilala ko dahil baka biglang dumating ang driver namin,  mapuputol pa kung anuman ang pinaguusapan namin.

Pero hindi ko napigilan na lingunin kung sino man ang taong nasa likod ko dahil, I saw him on the corner of my eyes, humiga ito sa bench saka itinakip sa mga mata ang kabilang kamay, habang ang isa ay nakalaylay. Basa ang kanyang damit pang-itaas dahil marahil sa paglabas niya mula sa loob ng school, pero maging ang pantalon at ulo niya ay nababasa na din sa pagbagsak ng ulan.

Napansin marahil niya ang pagtitig ko sa kanya dahil tinanggal niya ang pagkakatakip ng kamay niya sa mga mata niya, He had a pair of thick sword-shaped eyebrows, and a bright eyes., but in that beautiful eyes of him lies many pain and sorrow.

I looked away, I promised myself not to be in any contact with him. I pressed a message to our driver to avert my attention.

"You saw us earlier. Do I looked that pathetic on you for you to avoid my gaze?" mariin niyang tanong saakin.

I sighed.. I knew from that moment..  From that moment where he asked me first that I'll be doomed.

"It's not my business Deon..  You know I don't like to interfere on someone's business."

"I know Hailey. I was just asking." he seriously replied to me then put his arms back in his eyes.

"You really love her." it was not a question nor a comment. But more on a statement from me.. 

"Yeah..  Screw that Love."

"Why don't you try to move-on Deon..  Sometimes you can't force something yo happen especially if it wasn't Fate's decision."

Yeah..  Coming from me..  Ilang beses ko na ba itong sinabi sa sarili ko? Ilang beses ko na bang pailang ulit ipaalala to sa sarili ko?

Hindi siya nakasagot. Basa na ang buong katawan niya, na parang wala siyang pakialam doon.

"Can I forget her?" he chuckled.  "I think that's impossible." dagdag pa niya.

His voice is full of pain..  I can't help but study his features. He is so eye-catching that everyone will automatically fall for him in one second. I wondered why Calixta can't see it.

Maybe because of his pain, because of his agony, he make me fall. Again.

Huminga ako ng malalim, saka tumingala sa kalangitan. I'll give it a last shot.
"Deon.. Do you want to forget her?"

Maybe I'm crazy..  How can I asked him that. How I can I entered in his broken world. How can i choose to change his world?

"Why??  will you help me?"

"Answer me first Deon. Do you want to forget her?"

"Yes." umupo siya saka sinuklay ang buhok gamit ang kanang kamay, Habang nakatukod sa upuan ang kabila.

"I'll help you."

"How?" he asked me curiously.

"Promise me two things first. And I'll help you until you can heal."

Hindi siya nagkomento at tumango lamang. Nakatitig siya sakin at ganun din ako. His gaze is soothing to my soul, painfully.

"First, you will comply to everything that I'll ask you to. Second, you'll never question me why am I helping you."

And by that, I caught his whole attention. Lumipas ang ilang sandali, at maging ang pagbagsak ng ulan ay unti-unting humina.

"Do we have a deal?"
I outstretched my hand to him.

"The moment you grab this hand, I'll help you for as long as I can. To make you heal."

At first, akala ko hindi niya tatanggapin. Dahil, labis ang pagmamahal niya kay Calixta at imposible na gawin niya ang sinasabi ko. But I was betting on my luck.

This is the last time, that I'll outstretched my hands to him. This is the last time that I will try to reach for him. The last time, that I'll do something to cure him. Pero sino ba naman ang mag-aakala? That it will also be the last time, that he will make me fall. Hardly and painfully.

"I'll look forward to this. Hailey.." tanging naging sagot niya saka tinanggap ang kamay ko.

Saka dumating ang drier ko na siyang pagtigil ng ulan. Binitawan konang kamay niya, saka nilingon ang driver na tinatawag ako.

Pagkatapos, binuksan ko ang paper bag na dala ko, saka kinuha ang jacket kong itim na pang uni-sex.

Iniabot ko ito sa kanya. Na kaagad naman niyang tinanggap.

"Wear this Deon. Baka magkasakit ka." saka ako sumakay sa kotse, binuksan ko ang bintana saka dumungaw sa kaniya na nakatitig lamang sa akin.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

Nang makalarga na ang kotse ko, binalikan ko siya ng tingin. At nakita kong nakasunod din siya ng tingin sa amin.

Nang araw na din na iyon, habang lumalarga pauwi tinanong pa ako ng driver kung boyfriend ko daw iyon, sinabi ko na kaibigan ko lang din. Saka pa siya nagdahilan na nalate daw dahil may minor accident sa daan kaya nagka-traffic daw. I didn't make a comment on why is he late. But I asked our driver. If mabuti ba na nalate siya ng dating? O mabuti ba na hindi ako sumabay sa mga kaibigan ko?

That's when I started to question myself too.
How long will it take me to get there?
How long can I cure him?
When I've already fall?