Being thrown away in the garbage in a dark alleyway in London when she was only a baby, she should have died that day... But she didn't.. instead, a man saved her. He brought her in and saved her, fed her, bathed her, raised her and more importantly...
You may be surprised at what you see when you see how broken my heart is.
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When we get home Bruno and Luke helped me carry the bags upstairs. I can't believe how much they got me. As soon as they placed the bags down they left. I shut the door I thought briefly about unpacking the bags into the closet. But what's the point if they are just going to end up kicking me out. I grab my packet of cigarettes and open the window sitting on the ledge. You might be wondering how a fifteen-year-old girl was able to get a packet of cigarettes. But Ryan always gave me a packet whenever he saw me. he said he didn't want me to end up stealing or something. So, he just gave me them. I used to just get one of his but eventually, he ended up just giving me my own packet. He didn't really like the thought at first of a thirteen-year-old girl smoking but he knew I have had a tough life. One thing I truly liked about Ryan was how much he didn't dwell. He never demanded answers or asked questions about my bruises. Though at one point he nearly drove me to the police station, that was a time when my whole body was black and blue and I had a broken nose. But after me refusing he decided to let it go. That was the only time I had ever seen him angry.
He truly was my best friend.. a brother... A small tear escapes my eye thinking about him. We never talked about the bruises or abuse. He only ever told me funny stories and distracted me. he could make me laugh even on the days I feel completely broken. I can't believe I am missing that jack ass. If Ryan could see me he would probably be teasing the shit out of me. I look down at my phone deciding whether or not to call him or not. No, he wouldn't want to hear from me.. He told me to only call him if something was wrong.. I am only being needy.. I finish my cigarette quickly and shut my window. I remember the beautiful piano in the library. And before I could think about what I am doing I am already walking the library. I walk inside and check to see if anyone is in there. I close the library door. Alex said that all the rooms are soundproof so at least I don't need to worry about disturbing anyone. I glide my fingers along with the keys and before I could think. I am sitting down gliding my hand along the keys playing Mozart a Piano Sonata No. 8 in A minor, K. 310. There was no thought process to what I should play just the first thing what popped into my head.
My hands move gracefully and the music pours out of my heart like an overpowering dominating tsunami. I didn't realise how much I missed playing. It has only been two days and yet it feels like two years. I love playing the piano it makes me feel like dad is still here playing with me. it feels like he is sitting next to me listening to me and playing along like he uses to. The more I play the more hearts pours out of me. it feels like I am pleading.. pleading for dad. Pleading for his help... for him to come back. for this to just be a nightmare... for him to end up walking in the door in his police uniform.
I miss you, dad... why did you have to leave? why did you leave me? why did you leave your bumblebee? We were supposed to be partners in crime forever...
Tears fell down my eyes at the end of the song. I hadn't even realised I was crying... I play a few more hours thankful to god no one entered or caught me playing. I was more than grateful that I was being left alone. I glanced at my phone and cursed under my breath realising that it was 10 past six. I'm late for 'dinner'. I ran to the dining room and cringed seeing all of the boys sitting around the dining table waiting. Skittle sticks they were waiting for me. "Breanna I am so happy for you to join us". I nod and sit down in the seat next to Bruno while all of my 'brothers' smirk at me. "So will you care to explain why you were late". I internally groaned and rolled my eyes at his tone. Vince sounded like my principle. "I was in the library". I shrug fiddling with my fingers. "I see.. well please pay more attention to the time". I nod and gaze at all my brothers smirks. Wanting to flip them off so badly.
"you will be starting school next week You will have to pick some electives. I will send through you to the list of electives". I nodded internally groaning at the thought of school. The maids walk in handing everyone a heavy plate of steak and roast veggies. I won't be able to even finish a quarter of this. The boys started talking about football and work stuff while digging into their king set meal. These people eat like kings. While at home people were struggling to even eat one meal a day. "Let's play questions". Milo smiles and Alex nods seeming to the approval of the game. I roll my eyes and ignore them playing more with the food. I only occasionally take a small bite. "everyone gets to ask a question and everyone has to answer it truthfully". I roll my eyes and I stab the steak pretending it's my brothers head.
take that meathead!
"I will go first, starting with an easy one... what's everyone's favourite colour"? Milo beams. "are you five or something". Milo rolls his eyes Louis comment. I continue to stab my steak feeling content. "I will go first. Blue". Alex says confidently. I learnt that most of their favourite colours are boring like black, blue or red... how original. "Breanna"? I snap out of my thoughts and look up to see the boys glaring at me. "What? I am not playing". I shrugged. "Yes, you are". Vince and Enzo say in sync I glare back at them. Vince narrows his eyes at me and a part of me shrinks. "fine... I guess yellow". I roll my eyes and stab my steak. The boys scrunch their faces with disgust. "What's wrong with that"?
"Nothing just expected for you to pick something more girly or emo or something". Milo mummers which make me chuckle. They probably expected me to pick black or something. Black like my soul. "Ok, my turn! I guess I will do an easy question as well. Favourite sport". Everyone either said basketball or rugby how typical. "Soccer I guess". I mummer but smile in memories of me and dad going to my first soccer match together. I chuckle as I remember about how dad spilt mustard and ketchup all over himself accidentally while eating a hot dog because he was paying too much attention to the game. Dad loved soccer so much. He practically painted my face and dressed my whole-body top to bottom in his team's colours.
"ok favourite thing to do in their spare time". Everyone actually had an interesting answer I actually learnt a lot from their answers. Alex likes reading or practising as a doctor. Milo likes working in the gym. Enzo and Vince like working. No surprise there.. Louis likes boxing and fighting. Which explains his anger and bad temper. Luke likes reading as well as art and Bruno likes driving and boxing. There were similarities to the boy's hobbies but it also suited to their personalities. The boys looked at me waiting for me to answer. I admit I wanted to mess with them especially about this morning. If they really think that about me. well, let's use it. "Oh, you know. Using drugs getting stoned like the low life's who raised me". I shrug bitterness and coldness was evident as I spat out every word. Luke and Bruno's face pales and milo and Alex choke on their food. Louis and Enzo look at me with unreadable emotions and Vince looks at me sadly with guilt. "Y-you heard that". Bruno muttered sounding conflicted. "Yeah but I don't care, I am used to it. I don't really mind that you don't want me nor do I care. It just makes you like everyone else". My tone was cold and every word felt like venom. They all look guilty even Louis and Enzo. Wow, the tables have really turned.
"Vince I honestly don't care if you don't want me here. you can keep the phone and clothes. You can send me into foster care. Don't feel like you have to take me in just because I am your kid". I shrug like it's no big deal. But inside I feel my stomach sinking and my heartbreaking. But I can't let that overcome me.. the room falls in deathly silence and I watch Vince staring at me closely. I do admit that I did see him look hurt when I called him Vince. Maybe him knowing that I will never acknowledge him as my father will convince him. "No". I look at him frowning. No? "I don't care If you want to leave. But you will stay here. You are my child, my daughter. And like it or not you will be living here". Although his tone was demanding, cold and stern in my heart it felt like the warmest and comforting thing I had ever heard. My heartfelt somewhat wanted. Although my brothers hate me and basically view me as dirt. Seeing that Vince wants me. feels like a dream come true.. I don't remember the last time I felt like this.. but I imagine it was when I was with dad. And that terrifies me. "Can I be excused please"? Vince looks at me his features softening. "yes of course". I get out of my seat grabbing my plate. I hand it to the maid and she looks grateful probably not used to it considering the boys just leave their plates at the table.
My heart and my mind feel completely clouded with a million thoughts and emotions. I hadn't felt anything in such a long time.. and suddenly all these feeling are coming back hitting me like a train...
