𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐌𝐞

sixteen.✔

It's just after seven with sunlight streaming in from the thin white curtains that hung in my childhood bedroom. My walls are a pale pink, a collage of photos from my youth plastered on the far wall, framing the window. My two nieces are sound asleep beside me, Sophie pressed against the wall as Livy stretches out between us.

I gently slip from the bed, pulling the light pink floral comforter back over Livy. I know Caroline will be coming in any moment with a cup of coffee to wake me, but I linger in the silence a little longer. I had left the collage at my mother's house because I needed to stop looking at the past. I needed to stop living in hope that Alexandra would magically appear someday, her and Mr. Young. Not only for me but for Cole. The same photo Cole has hanging in the center of his office wall is in the center of my collage. The three of us, the wind in our hair with endless grins.

There was a storm the night of the accident. The worst one we'd seen in a decade. Everyone in the town had closed up shop early that day so people could get home safely. Alex and Mr. Young had been at the construction office. She offered to help him with some detail work when Cole couldn't due to practice. They stopped on their way home to get flowers for Mrs. Young, it wasn't a special day but they knew she had been a little stressed with parents calling all day about the storm. A simple gesture that would have brought some sunlight to her rainy day.

I can't say that the outcome would have been different if they never stopped or if the other driver had left ten minutes earlier. What I know for certain is the sky opened up and poured down like an ocean wave. I know the other car was going way too fast for conditions because they were late for a night shift at the hospital. I know Mr. Young hadn't been wearing his seatbelt. And I know Alexandra wouldn't have felt a thing. The other car collided with theirs, hitting Alex's side, killing her instantly. Mr. Young was thrown through the side window, causing blunt force trauma. The other driver survived but not without their own injuries of being paralyzed. The man was moved out of state to a full-time facility to help him with his new needs. Cole blames himself for going to practice. If he'd just skipped one day, it would have been him instead of Alexandra.

After her death I felt the need to live for the both of us. I had to have all the milestones in life for the both of us. Like graduate high school, skip curfew, sneak into a concert underage, get drunk out in the woods, graduate college, have my heartbroken, take a road trip with my best friend, fall in love, start a career, get married, have babies and most importantly; take in every single moment of it.

All those things aside from the final two, I did with Cole.

A delicate knock is followed by Caroline peaking her head inside the room. "I should have expected you'd be awake," she whispers as my fingers fall from the photo on the wall. "Want some coffee?"

I nod, glancing at the still sound girls before following her into the hall.

"Where's Mom?" I ask as I sit on the old wood stool at the bar in my mother's light blue kitchen. It's been the same shade since Caroline and I were the girls age.

"She's outside," Caroline pours some cream in a fresh mug. "Flirting with Mr. Robertson."

"Mr. Robertson?" I raise a brow. "What about his wife?"

She hands me the cup and leans against the counter. "Passed two years ago from cancer."

Mr. and Mrs. Robertson have been our neighbors forever. They're children were older; he must be nearly fifteen years older than our mother.

"I think Mom told me that," I sigh. "But..."

"I know," Caroline nods. "It's been an interesting two years."