unexpected feelings | marichat

chapter thirty-four

adrien's pov
   marinette had 'hired' me to help her with a design she was working on as soon as we arrived back at her house, so now we sat at her desk, erasing and redrawing different concepts of the same design. i was more focused on looking at her, though, and how cute she looked wearing the necklace i gave her. i patted my pocket, making sure once again that my lucky charm was still there.
   i had another marinette lucky charm. one that she had specifically made for me, with me in mind as she made it. it was just as special as the one she'd previously given me, but the fact that she had thought of me as she made it made me feel all warm inside. she's incredible.
   "chat, why are yo-you, mmm, sorry, why are you staring at me?" she asked curiously, pausing halfway to yawn. her eyelids were shutting themselves, and she kept widening her eyes to keep them from closing. i smiled.
   "more importantly, how much sleep have you been getting lately? you look like one of those walking dead zombies," i dead-panned.
   she scrunched up her face in concentration, the way ladybug did whenever she was figuring out a lucky charm. "ummm, some? i just stayed up late last night making a gift for my teacher's baby shower, then i..." she trailed off, biting her lip in worry. "i had to finish a design i was inspired on!"
   i opened my mouth, ready to protest on her lack of sleep, but was interrupted by a yawn of my own. hawkmoth had decided to strike at midnight last night, so i didn't sleep much either.
   "you seem like you haven't gotten much sleep yourself," marinette smirked. i rolled my eyes.
   "i'll be fine. you, on the other hand, should head to bed. it's getting late-"
   "it's only 8:30. besides, we were having fun, i can't just go to bed in the middle of our little playdate."
   "i could join you in bed," i suggested, with such confidence that it was embarrassing. my eyes widened in realization of how what i just said must have sounded, and marinette's face was an awkward mix of shock and embarassment. at least she was awake now.
   "no no! no, that sounded bad, oh- i meant, i could um, join you, while you sleep, which, actually, that doesn't sound any better, um, you don't have to! forget i ever said anything, i'm sorry, i'm so, so sorry," i backtracked, desperately hoping marinette didn't think i was a weirdo. why would you say that???
   after the initial shock wore off, she smiled shyly. "don't apologize. i think.. that sounds nice. only if you'd like, though," she added quickly in the end, her cheeks tinted pink. i grinned.
   she led me up the stairs to her bed, and we settled into it, marinette backed against one corner and me towards the other. she immediately relaxed and fell asleep as her head hit the pillow, not even bothering to say anything. i smiled. she was adorable.
i tentatively brushed her hair out of her eyes and admired how peaceful she looked while she slept. i reconsidered what plagg had told me yesterday, about making a move. besides admitting to liking someone else (who was, also me, apparently, but whatever)... she hadn't really explicitly said she was over me, over chat noir, had she? what would she say if i asked her out? what if she said yes?
a part of my mind reminded me of ladybug, and how she always rejected my advances. i almost felt guilty, moving on, but at the same time... she wanted me to, right? would she be happy if i dated marinette? or would she be mad that i was dating a civilian while in costume? would i be able to move on fully from her if i dated marinette? to finally let go of that one stupid little piece of me that seemed so attached to her?
and an even quieter part reminded me of someone else: kagami. i wished she could be a front runner, because i didn't want to lose her, but.... during that kiss we shared, i hadn't been able to focus on the kiss at all. there were no huge sparks, no feeling of finally being home, no realization that she was the 'right target'. that wasn't how a kiss was supposed to feel. but how would i tell her that she wasn't the one for me? would she even want to be my friend anymore?
i groaned quietly, careful not to wake marinette, who seemed to have scooted slightly closer in her sleep. it was all too much, and my mind was getting tired of debating with itself. plus, marinette's bed was so comfy... sleeping couldn't hurt. i needed to shut my brain off, even for just a few minutes. just a few minutes, then i'd wake up and wake marinette up with me.
yeah. i settled myself more comfortably and finally shut my eyes, trying not to think of how much i wished i could close the space between marinette and i.
the sound of things rattling and falling startled me awake. i tried to sit up but found something holding tightly onto me. marinette. i smiled. at some point in the time we were asleep, we'd found our way closer to each other, and now her head lay on my chest, her leg was on mine and i had an arm wrapped around her. what time even was it?
i attempted to grab my staff when i saw something move across the room. it had glowing green eyes, and something about the way it moved seemed eerily... familiar. it creeped closer to the light, and i gasped. the figure was familiar because it was... me.
only this me looked insane, rabid, nightmarish. he looked like he was out to kill. suddenly, his- my??- face twisted into a grin, a maniacal grin that looked more like a grimace than anything and lunged towards us.
"MARINETTE! WATCH OUT!" i threw us out of the way, just as rabid me hit cataclysmed the bed angrily. it turned into dust and disappeared, leaving nothing but small black particles on the ground.
marinette woke up, looking around the room groggily. she was barely alert until seeing something at the corner of the room that made all the blood drain from her face. i turned to where she looked and found hawkmoth, grinning evilly at marinette. i felt her shake under my touch, and barely had time to move us as evil me lunged towards us again. what is hawkmoth doing in marinette's room?
   it was hard to hear what hawkmoth was saying, since i was too busy trying to keep marinette away from whatever evil version of me was out to kill us, but it seemed to be shaking her up really bad.
   "are you okay?" i asked, out of breath as i tried to battle hawkmoth and myself at the same time. it was weird, though. my clone didn't seem to have any interest in hurting me with his cataclysm. in fact, he seemed to be targeting marinette specifically.
   my theory was proven as i tucked marinette under her desk and he lunged at her, baring his teeth wildly. i threw hawkmoth off of myself and pushed the clone in a different direction, making his hand land on marinette's computer.
   it didn't turn to dust, though. instead, it seemed to be.. taking the shape of something else? i struggled to find out what it was until finally, the shape became clear: it was uncanny valley, looking like she had after i'd hit her with my cataclysm in new york. after i'd nearly killed ladybug, but uncanny had thrown herself in front of her just in time.
   i shuddered. it couldn't be real, but it looked so, so real. why did that even appear?
   whatever the reason, i couldn't let marinette stay in here much longer. there was no way she was going to get cataclysmed, not if i could do anything to stop it.
   i carried her out of the room and outside, far from her home. somewhere she could remain as safe as possible, like... like inside the library! nobody would look in there. i set her down gently and finally took a good look at her.
   she was shaking hard, and her expression looked more frightened than i'd ever seen it. it physically hurt to see her like this.
   "are you okay? what did hawkmoth say to you?" i asked, rubbing soothing circles into her back.
   "yeah, no, i'm fine, um, he just, he said he found... he just scares me. are you okay?? why did an evil clone of you just appear while we slept?"
"i don't know, but what happened in there seemed like one huge, terrifying nightmare," i pointed out sourly, and marinette gasped.
   "nightmare!!! like, sandboy! he must be bringing nightmares to life again!"
   everything began to click. of course! those must've been our nightmares, though mine seemed quite a bit... different than before. i shuddered again, picturing myself lunging at marinette. it was horrifying.
   "you're a genius, marinette! okay, stay put while i go take care of this. don't leave this place unless it becomes dangerous," i told her, beginning towards the door. she yanked my tail, and it was so forceful that i almost tumbled into the bookshelf behind us.
   "ladybug should be here soon, but promise me you'll be careful," she said, looking me in the eye. i smiled, touched at her concern.
   "i will be. cat's honor. besides, with that lucky charm you gave me, what can possibly go wrong?"
   she creased her brows, apparently unconvinced. still, she nodded her head and leaned in, kissing me gently on the cheek before pushing me towards the entrance.
   the action made my cheeks burn, and i felt slightly distracted by it, despite the rampaging akuma outside. i staggered out and tried to calm my heart down. fighting an akuma while distracted by her kiss would not be helpful.
i leapt back the way i'd arrived, keeping an eye out for sandboy. he was nowhere to be found, so i parked myself on the eiffel tower, waiting for ladybug's arrival, and thinking of how soft marinette's lips had felt on my cheek.

(a/n: wonder who lb's new nightmare is hmmmmmmmm, also i <3 writing them acknowledging that they like each other to themselves pls)