unexpected feelings | marichat

chapter fifty-three

marinette's pov
   chat noir was silent the whole way to my house, which was worrying me. usually i counted on him to lighten the mood, and i rarely realized how much i needed it until i didn't have it. maybe it was better this way, though. i needed to find a way to tell adrien that his dad was the one and only hawkmoth.
   how was i supposed to tell him? how did you tell someone that the only parent they have left is a supervillain trying to bring his deceased wife back to life?
'hey, adrien! i know this seems crazy but your dad is hawkmoth and he's trying to bring your mom back from the dead! so sorry." the thought of his reaction made me feel sick. it was horrible.
   and the more i thought about who hawkmoth was, the more i hated him. who did he think he was? terrorizing paris, ruining so many things for everyone, destroying his relationship with his only son, for a wish that could come with the worst of costs? adrien didn't deserve this, in the slightest.
   chat noir and i landed on my balcony and he remained quiet, looking to the ground with a sad look on his face and gripping his staff like it had personally wronged him.
   "hey, chat? you okay?" he looked up and gave me a sad smile.
   "i'm perfectly fine, thank you m'lady. it's just... weird, knowing that hawkmoth is gabriel agreste," he said, saying the name like it was poison on his tongue. i nodded in agreement.
   "i can't believe it's him. i know he was always very private, but he never struck me as the kind to do be outright villainous. he always worked so hard to keep adrien 'safe'... yet HE was the reason he was unsafe in the first place! i don't even know how i'm supposed to tell adrien about all this," i sighed, sitting on my chaise. chat joined me and shrugged.
   "i'm sure after we catch hawkmoth, adrien will find out through the news or something. it'll save you a lot of trouble," he said emptily, and i looked at him, surveyed his sad silhouette.
   "you sure you're okay?" i questioned, and he nodded, grabbing my hand.
   "i'm fine. let's do this?"  i shrugged and sighed, reminding myself that this would probably be my easiest task of the day. we opened the trapdoor and were immediately greeted by the shrieks of my mom, along with a relieved sigh from my dad and a sheepish smile from alya. my mouth made a small 'o'; i hadn't even thought of my parents' reaction to the big reveal.
   "marinette? oh, you're okay! i can't believe you, you're ladybug? you've been putting yourself in so much danger, are you crazy? there are so many times you could have... oh, i don't even want to think about it! but i'm so, so proud of you honey. you and chat noir do so much for paris! oh, i love you," she let out between sobs, squeezing me tightly. it felt weird, being called marinette while in the suit, but at the same time, it felt so freeing, no longer hiding this from the people i loved. it was like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest.
   "i love you too, mom," i replied, working hard to breathe as she squeezed harder in the hug. she let go and i took a deep breath, catching my air again. my dad was next to embrace me, with similar ardor as my mom.
   "why didn't you tell us?" he asked, putting me at shoulder length from him. i frowned and looked down.
   "i've wanted to, so many times. i've wanted to tell all of you! but it was just too dangerous." i looked back up at him and found him smiling tenderly at me.
   "we're so proud of you, honey." i wanted them to stay, to tell them all the things i hadn't been able to tell them before, but i refrained. there was something to do, and i doubted they'd let me if they heard it.
   "thank you, papa. anyway, i'm gonna need the room right now," i smiled sheepishly, escorting them towards the door. "i love you both tons!" i shoved them out the door and my dad held it up, a confused frown on his face.
   "what are you going to do?"
   "ummm... i have a plan. a very good one! to take down hawkmoth."
   my mom gasped. "are you crazy? you could get seriously hurt-"
   "mom. as ladybug, this is my duty. i can't just let him get away with everything he's done. besides, after this, i won't have to put myself in danger every single day anymore," i pleaded, looking them both in the eyes.
my mom frowned and opened her mouth to speak, and i was afraid i'd have to go without their permission, when my dad put his hand on her shoulder and stopped her. they shared and look and she sighed, giving in.
"be careful, sweetie. we love you infinitely," she said, walking off after my dad gave my hand a loving squeeze. i shut the trapdoor and sunk to the ground, dizzy with everything that was going on at once.
"they didn't see the kwamis, right?" i asked alya, who shook her head. there's one less thing to worry about, i guess.
"they all hid when they saw... you know. everything that happened," she replied, and i rubbed at my temple with my gloved hands.
"yeah, and that's not even the half of it," chat noir scoffed, fixated on a picture of us on the wall. alya raised an eyebrow and i sighed, standing to join chat. since there was no point in hiding or preventing anything anymore, i wrapped an arm around him and leaned into him, prompting him to do the same. alya's eyebrow traveled higher up her forehead, but if she had any questions about that (which she definitely did), she was saving them for later.
"we... found out hawkmoth's secret identity," i said, and alya gasped.
"who is he?"
"gabriel agreste," chat said in a calm voice, yet he was more tense than i had ever seen him. alya looked like she might faint. for a second she did, anyway. her face then contorted in rage, and she stomped her foot on the ground. i jumped at how abrupt it was.
"are you SERIOUS?! HIM?? is such a high profile guy with a son really gonna risk everything for some stupid pieces of jewelry?" she asked angrily, running her hands through her hair. i opened my mouth to agree, and suddenly her glare zeroed in on chat noir and i.
"and why didn't you two stop him? you had him right in front of you! by now, you must know he's not stupid enough to try another face to face confrontation."
chat removed himself from me and stared, as if he was also asking the same question. i sighed and paced around the room.
"i... i don't know. i don't think we would have been able to! plus, the lucky charm, it led me here, to you, and i just thought that that was probably a better choice than trying and failing ourselves," i sighed, suddenly unsure of the plan i had come up with. why didn't we get him there?
"well, you said you had a plan, right? and you always have the right ideas at the right time," chat said confidently, looking me in the eye. i smiled, hoping he was right.
"alya, i need you to be rena rouge again," i said, and heard chat gasp. i'd forgotten he didn't know she was. "can i also use your earrings? i need them to convince him that he's actually getting my miraculous. you make an illusion of chat, who will come from behind to grab hawkmoth's miraculous while he's distracted. we've seen that it's below his lapel, so it really shouldn't be easy to grab when he's not paying attention. the police will take care of arresting him, since they should be on the spot by the time this is done. i think it should be quick," i explained.
"how are we supposed to find hawkmoth?" alya asked.
"he has to be somewhere inside agreste mansion. it's big, so there has to be a place he hides in there. his office, something. if we can't find it, one of our kwamis can," i decided, and they both nodded.
   chat noir went up to the roof to recharge plagg, and alya and i stayed inside, her transforming into rena rouge.
"you ready?" she asked, handing me her earrings. i stashed them in my yo-yo and sighed.
"i think... i think it'll feel good to finally get him. but how am i supposed to tell adrien? he's already going through so much. and what if he hates me for putting his father in prison? i can't stand that. i know it's probably selfish to even think of, but it's just, ugh," i shook my head, and alya slung her arm around my shoulder. i layed my head on her shoulder, grateful for the comforting gesture.
   "marinette, adrien could never hate you. he loves you, girl. and i know it's gonna hurt him, but eventually he'll heal. he won't blame you for anything. you're doing him a favor," she promised. i was still slightly unconvinced, but that didn't matter. we had a job to do.
everything past that was sort of an adrenaline fueled blur. the plan had gone just as expected, though chat noir fumbled when he saw something in the agreste's basement.
as soon as we exited, with the french police department towing a defeated gabriel, what seemed like thousands of reporters bombarded us with questions. within minutes, everyone including adrien would know who hawkmoth was. i felt like if i had to answer any of their questions , i might throw up.
i searched for chat noir's hand, or rena's, anyone to give me grounding. chat's found me first, though, and he held on tightly as we struggled past the maze of people. rena was back with officer roger, answering questions about what had happened.
"m'lady, my ring is beeping. i love you," chat noir said, giving me a kiss on the cheek and bouncing off before i had the chance to reply. i ignored the swoons of the public who had apparently forgotten why they were here as i thought of what chat had said.
there was nothing inherently wrong with it, and nothing that i didn't know. but he hadn't used his cataclysm this battle, so why would he lie about his ring beeping?
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(a/n: remember when i used to update every three days? yeah me neither anyway, the end is approaching *gasp* it can only go uphill from here then, right? right????)
(ps. my first (and probablyyy last) strong cuss word on here awhhh)