Chapter 11- Strawberry lotion

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The awkward tension was so high that the invisible rope could nearly be cut in two with a knife. Ever since Severus' vision which he refused to tell about because he claimed it was embarrassing, they hadn't talked much. Y/N figured it might be because the flashback was something vulgar, at least enough to make him hard.

She'd been pondering for four days upon the fact whether he saw a scene with her or not. He hadn't yelled at her yet, hadn't thrown her out and hadn't cursed her into the hospital wing so that was a good sign. On the other hand, it could also indicate he had a dream about someone else, not her. It was when they were both sitting in the living room and it was rather late that he finally spoke more than three words. It was on the second day after the flashback.

"Miss L/N?" She snapped her head up in question. "Did I have a significant other, before the war? I-" He abruptly stopped talking. Y/N studied him with concern filling her eyes. Both for he might have figured it out or he might be on track of figuring out.

"Not really?" She answered hesitantly as she scratched the back of her neck, averting her eyes to look back at her book to avoid any accidental eye contact. That was the longest conversation they had in the last few days. Severus didn't seem to quite believe her from the skeptical narrowed eyes she received mere seconds later. Perhaps he did have someone before her or while they were being involved with each other. It wasn't her place to tell him he didn't have anyone but as far as she knew, it was the truth. Still, Y/N hated those eyes drilling right through her as if he knew all her secrets.

"Perhaps you did," She rushed out," But not that I know of." This seemed to increase the confused aspect because Severus pursed his lips to take a deep breath like he was thinking about how to solve world problems.

This conversation lingered in her head all through the day until she had the evening off where she decided to make good use of it by spending it with her friends. She met up in the Three Broomsticks with Hermione, Ron and Harry who were all busy with their new plans. Hermione had a job at the Ministry and Ron and Harry choose, once again, to fight evil by taking that auror job which they were still busy training for. Ron ordered a pint and the rest took a warm butterbeer. They settled in their usual spot.

They, of course, knew about what happened to Severus. Y/N had been writing to them and kept in touch with help from the owls and kept them updated on the current situation. She had yet to tell them about Severus' last flashback but hesitated whether she should or not. It was rather private, that much was obvious. Even then, they were her best friends and she told them everything. On the other hand, she had to respect Severus' privacy who had also not consented to her telling others about it. Naturally, she told her friends.

Harry's mouth was slack open, Hermione stared with disbelief and Y/N briefly wondered if she was still alive, and Ron snorted. Mione immediately came into action and shook her head as she slapped him on the head.

"Stop it, Ronald. Y/N needs our help and you're laughing at her!" Even Harry let out a throaty chuckle after holding it in, then Y/N spotted a small smile playing on Hermione's lips. Y/N rolled her eyes and leaned back in the chair, suddenly not wanting that butterbeer anymore.

"Thanks for the support, guys." That's when the three finally came into action and soothed her in the most stupidest of ways. Hermione was the only one who really had a comment that was helpful, unlike the other two who were making the situation worse by telling her all kinds of possibilities about what Severus might've been 'dreaming' about.

"Can it not be that Professor Snape's flashback was about you?" Y/N truly thought about that option. Pondered about it in bed late at night or early in the morning when she heard Severus stumble out of bed to the shower without her help because he was too damn stubborn to accept any unless forced.

She honestly hoped what Hermione said was true but why had Severus not said anything to her about it yet? He would've scowled at her, tricked her in a Slytherin way or simply hex her out of his quarters. Or he would realize how in love he was, the good times they had together and how happy he was with her if not for the war being in their way.

The sound of laughter from another table brought her back and Y/N shrugged lightly as if she did not care, even if she cared tremendously. She wanted to have him back. It didn't matter if he would act a bit different because he didn't have all his memories back. It was okay if he wasn't in love with her but merely liked her which would grow out of something more like last time, as long as they could do the things they did before.

"He hasn't said anything to me about it. This morning, though, he asked if he was in a relationship with someone before losing his memory?" With her confession, Ron set down his pint and swiped his tongue over his lip to get rid of the excess foam.

"That was the perfect opportunity to tell him," He accused with a frown. Harry interrupted him by saying it might damage Severus' mental progress, and that's how another argument started. Y/N knew that this conversation had done little good to her but also knew that they were all trying to help it. After a few more suggestions from them, they broached a different subject. It went from Ron's solved case without any help, to Hogwarts and then to Harry's new love interest. He had broken up with Ginny a little while after the war since he found it wasn't working anymore and didn't want to hold her on a leash. They were still great friends, but nothing more than that. It was then when he finally dared to admit he had another relationship. Not like any other.

"Draco Malfoy, huh?" Ron said, nudging his shoulder and smirking. Hermione seemed frantic although nodded anyway but no one could really blame her after all the bad blood between the two enemies.

"I knew it. The way he says your name: Potter." Harry blushed and Y/N did her best to shush him in order for Harry to tell the story how it began. She stayed for another hour before it was just a bit before 12 am and she decided to head back and see if Severus was all settled. He should be in bed right now, but perhaps something went wrong and he couldn't get in bed by himself.

Her head was fuzzy by the time she opened the door to the quarters but became even more stressed when the door didn't budge nor did the password she said work. Did that bastard really change the password the moment she went out? Even with her patience, Severus managed to cut it short and the couple of butterbeers and a few shots in her system didn't make it better. She was tired and dizzy. It would be different when he'd remember her. He would've greeted her with warmth or even come with her to the Three Broomsticks with her friends. They would've cuddled in front of the fire afterwards with blankets and accidentally fallen asleep in each other's arms. Instead, Severus had no idea who she was.

Y/N sighed and brought her knuckles heavy on the door to knock. It didn't open, but she heard shuffling on the other side and waited not so patiently anymore.

"Password?" A rough, low voice said on the other side. The wood muffled it so it was barely hearable. Y/N gave a frustrated groan.

"I don't know! You fucking changed it," She nearly yelled, then remembered it was past curfew and students were sleeping. A stretched silence overfell them. The dark, sinister corridor behind her was suddenly scarier than before. Like it was coming closer to swallow her whole and never spit her out again, never giving her a chance to have Severus back. It merely reminded her that the man she loved was acting this way and it may never change.

"Strawberry lotion," Severus said, voice breaking in the middle of the two words spilling out of his throat. Y/N's breath hitched and she lifted her arm to bring her wrist to her nose and inhaled deeply, remembering the strawberry lotion she rubbed over her skin every morning after showering for over a year or two by now. The door opened.

A/N- Points to whoever still remembered the little detail in chapter ten about the strawberry lotion!

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