-a fine line- part two/ sequal

Chapter 20

The following week passed in much trouble. Y/N was forced to face the thing she tried to hide from. She recovered rather quickly and was out of bed two days after the 'incident' and did her best to pick up where she left. Of course, this was hardly possible as apparently everything changed.

She spent years with this unofficial problem, walking around with it. She got help from Severus but after what happened, after she went too far, Severus obviously realised the severity of the situation. He knew that if he'd let Y/N do whatever she wanted, this might happen again. Meanwhile, Y/N struggled with the facts. She had never intended for this to happen and now she was in a worse position as before thanks to her own ignorance and impulsivity.

One of the things she had not looked forward to was seeing Jayden again. It was her second day after waking up when there was a knock on the door. She figured it was Severus and told him he could come into the bedroom. Severus had been taking care of her so that she could recover both mentally and physically. She lost too much blood to stand straight without getting dizzy and her energy had been stripped away from her, leaving her with nothing but exhaustion and guilt. And although Severus was mad, absolutely sniping at her about her behaviour every time he came, he at least took care of her. He brought her food, made sure she stayed hydrated and gave her things to amuse herself with such as books.

So when Jayden came in, she was taken aback. He stood in the door opening, shuffling hesitantly on his feet with a nervous smile on his face. Y/N encouraged him to come to the bed and he sat on the chair next to her while talking about his new boyfriend. He refused to tell his name but accepted Y/N's request to invite him over for dinner if things got more serious.

Now, Y/N's cuts were healed and Severus moved back in for her sake. But nothing went back to normal because Severus was acting off.

"Severus," She said after a while of silence. It was evening and they were both sitting in the living room, he occupying the armchair while she took the length of the couch, spreading out and having her legs on the pillows.

"What?" He barked forcefully, snapping his book shut and glaring at her, "Is is too much to ask to fucking have some rest. Must you interrupt everything with your insane chatter?" Y/N forced herself not to flinch. She had said nothing over the past two hours, sitting in complete silence and drifting off to sleep multiple times, and he was mad because what....she said one fucking word? She sat upright and glanced at the glass of firewhiskey in Severus' free hand which he lifted and downed the contents in one swallow.

"I think it's better for you to sleep," She said with a gentle tone, trying to not provoke a severe reaction out of Severus. It felt like poking a sleeping bear with a stick, holding her breath and being as careful as possible.

Severus smirked at her and stood up to walk to the liquor cabinet for more. He steadied himself when he nearly lost balance.

"I'm not listening to a little girl." It was said with an almost bored tone, cold, as if he didn't care about her anymore. She ignored the sting her heart received and sat up straighter, a habit learned from no one else but Severus.

"I'm not a little girl. You're drunk and you should be in bed," She stated confidently. She had observed his behaviour over the week and she figured out why he was so aggressive. He was drinking whenever he could; drinking when he found her on the bathroom floor, when Jayden came to visit, when Minerva stopped by, when he brought her food and when they sat together in the sitting room. She had already seen what alcohol could do to him and she thought back to that evening where he had ranted to her about the 'Marauders' which was still a question for her. She never asked him about what the title meant but she knew to a logical level who it contained. Harry told her about it before, just not in detail. She remembered his malice and how it fits the standard of the last few days.

Severus had the audacity to shrug his shoulders with his back to her, drinking without making it too obvious how much he had.

"Let's go," She stood up and walked over to him, placing a helping hand on his arm and plucking the newly filled glass out of his hand. Severus snorted, amused at her desperate attempt to do....he didn't know what she was trying to do. He couldn't think straight and although he wanted to refuse the girl's request, his tongue couldn't form the words in his mouth to say no so he followed against his will.

Y/N had to walk extra slowly so he could keep up with her and sighed when Severus laughed stupidly. She pushed the blankets down and set him to sit on the edge of the bed to remove his shirt.

"Y/N, Y/N," He said suddenly, "Did you know that-" Then he exaggeratedly gasped, "Did you see that?" Y/N's brows furrowed as her eyes followed the finger-pointing at something and stared at the wardrobe. She couldn't see anything else but the wardrobe but nodded anyway. She lowered the pointing finger and smiled down at Severus who was now lying underneath the covers with a boyish grin on his face. Just when she wanted to leave the room, his hand grasped her wrist, forcing her to turn around to face him.

"Did you know that I really, really love you!" She lifted her eyebrows in surprise. After their fight, nothing about their relationship had been discussed and they were left with a weird tension between friends and lovers.

"And-" He hiccuped, "really, really, really pretty. Like- When you look at the stars and you think; 'Woow, this is just a fixed luminous point in the night sky which is a large, remote incandescent body like the sun." Y/N clicked her tongue, not knowing what the fuck he was saying except for the first part. Although it was sweet that he always chose the worst possible moments to express his unconditional love to her, she was mad at him. She had the right to be, but she couldn't deny that this mood of his was hilarious. She was lucky that she didn't have to deal with a furious Severus and instead got the childish, drunk version of him. It always depended on the time and place, and it could change within a heartbeat.

"Yeah, that's kinda cool," She murmured.

"I want to spend my life with you," He whined, "Do you love me too?" Y/N stayed silent and gave a kiss on his forehead before turning off the lights.

"Goodnight," She said when she closed the door, hearing the last giggle coming from the other side. And she wanted to say it, she wanted to say it desperately, but couldn't. Did she still love him? 

I really see Severus as the type of drunk who would declare his love or use random big words no one understands.