The Addiction of Love

XI

Avira unlocked the front door with her key and entered inside. She knew Ashar was not at home because he'd texted her earlier that he'd be staying late at the office. She closed the door behind her and rushed to her bedroom. Taking off her heels, she took out a paper bag from her purse.

She walked inside the bathroom with that paper bag. With shivering hands, she took out what was inside the bag. A pregnancy test.

It had been almost three months since they'd first made love. And since then, they'd had a very active sex life, but the chances of her getting pregnant were very slim since they always used protection. But lately, she had been feeling nauseous and her period was also two weeks late.

Ashar reached home way past 9. He called out for Avira, but got no response. He checked the kitchen, which was empty, before making his way to their room.

There she was, sitting on the bed.

"Vira? What's wrong? Why haven't you changed your clothes yet?" He asked her while taking off his shoes and socks.

She didn't reply.

"There was so much work in the office. I'm exhausted." He kept on speaking while removing his tie.

"Vira? Are you even listening to me?" He waved his hand in front of her eyes. This broke her trance.

"Where are you lost?" He asked.

She stared at him for a few seconds before picking up her pregnancy test from the bedside table and handing it over to him. He confusedly looked at the stick before his expression changed into realisation.

"Is this.. are you..? He fumbled with his words.

"I am pregnant." She spoke in a barely audible voice.

It took him a few seconds to make sure he heard right before he pulled her up and took her in a bone-crushing hug.

"Oh my God, I'm so happy. We're going to be parents." His voice held so much excitement.

She pulled away from the hug and gave him an unbelievable look. "How can you be happy about it?"

Ashar's smile faltered a little. "What do you mean? It is supposed to be good news."

"How is this good news?" Her voice was hard. "We didn't plan this. We're not ready for this pregnancy."

Ashar was perplexed. "What are you trying to say?"

"Ashar, it has barely been four months to our wedding and we're already pregnant. To top it off, I'm in the middle of my Paris project. This is such wrong timing." She tried to make him understand what was going on in her head.

"So what, Vira? Mujhe pata hai humne yeh plan nahi kiya tha, par yeh phir bhi ho gaya. Iska matlab hai yeh Allah ki marzi hai, aur hume Allah ki marzi ko khushi-khushi qubool karna chahiye."

She glared at him. "Of course you'd say that. After all, tumhe koi farq thori padega is bache se! Tumhari life jaisi chal rahi hai waise hi chalegi. Zindagi toh meri ruk jayegi na, career toh mera kharab hoga."

He couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Forget it," She started to walk away but he pulled her back.

"What do you mean that your career would be ruined? When have I ever left you alone, not supported you? This baby would not be just yours, but my responsibility as well."

She jerked her hand out of his hold. "Yeh baatein sirf kehne ke liye hoti hai. Tell me, would you be carrying this baby for nine months, would your body go through so many changes, would you have to deliver it, would you have to sit at home and breastfeed it? No, it would have to be me."

"Yes. It would be you doing all that but I'd be there to support you in every step." He was starting to lose his calm now.

"Oh, please," She said, sarcastically.

"Kya please? Tell me honestly, do you not want this baby?" He asked her.

She looked him dead in the eye and replied, "I don't know."

He balled up his fist to control his anger, and marched out of the room while banging the door.

He spent the entire night in the spare bedroom. The next morning, he only returned to their room to take his clothes and got ready in the other room. Without saying any word to Avira or eating his breakfast, he left for the office.

This continued for more than a week. Neither he nor her tried exchanging any words. He had shifted some of his clothes and other necessities in the other room, and that's where he slept as well. He barely ate any meal at home. Getting ignored by him was hurting her, but she made no move to talk to him because she felt she was right. But what she didn't understand was how much her words had hurt him. He couldn't believe how easily she'd refused to accept their baby. Their sign of love.

His ignorance had left her lonely, and she badly wanted someone to talk to. Her morning sickness was not too bad, but it did add to her irritation. So on the weekend, she went over to Nandini's place.

"What's wrong?" Nandini asked Avira when she saw her.

"How do you know something is wrong?" Avira asked.

"If you've forgotten, we're best friends and I know you more than you know yourself." Nandini stated. "Now spill."

Avira sighed and told her everything. And by the end of the story, Nandini was ready to beat the shit out of her best friend. The only thing that stopped her was the fear of harming her future niece or nephew.

"How could you say that to him, Avi?" Nandini was disappointed.

"Great, now you're taking his side as well." Avira threw her arms in the air and sighed. .

"Yes, I am. Because he is right. I know you guys didn't plan that baby but it still happened. I mean it is not his fault, right?"

"It isn't his fault." Avira took a deep breath so she wouldn't shout. "But he's not ready to understand my point. I'm not ready for this damn baby."

"Why? What is scaring you?"

"Nandini, it is going to tarnish my entire career."

"It will not. There are so many working women who have babies. It doesn't tarnish their careers."

"Yes, because they plan their babies. I mean if we'd planned our pregnancy carefully then I'd have been happy too." Avira was getting pissed at the fact that no one was understanding her. "I am not ready for this child. For God's sake, I've the Paris fashion show in less than three months. You know how important that is to me."

"Avi, I've said this to you before and I'll say it again. Your heart knows what it wants, but it is your brain that messes with you. Listen to your heart, and not your brain."

"Gosh, again with the same speech. I don't want to hear it." Avira snapped. "You know what, no one is going to understand me. Not you, not Ashar. You guys don't have your careers at risk."

"Avi, why are you being like this? We both love you and want the best for you." Nandini had never seen Avira this way before.

"I don't need your fucking care. I can make my decisions myself. Didn't even know why I bothered coming here in the first place." Avira picked up her purse and stormed out.

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