03.

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I was waiting in my room for Darlene to finally get home and immediately consulted her about the hockey physical therapy assistant position I was offered. I needed to let it all out and Darlene really is one of those people who can always push me into doing the right thing.

"What do you think I should do?" I asked Darlene as we sat on my bed.

When she got home, she wanted to do groceries for dinner with me, but I told her I needed to discuss something urgent first. So she waited to let me get everything out on the table.

Well not everything, I am not planning on telling her about the little moment I just had in the shower with some guy on the other side of the wall.

I want to keep that private for now, I'm still feeling a little perplexed about it. It really was a moment and I want to gatekeep it for a little longer. I like to have something that is mine, and this is mine, I'm afraid she might try getting some shower contact with this person as well.

She is the flirty and spontaneous type, everything I am not.

I wish I could be more like her, especially in her confidence. I aspire to be as confident as her.

"Honestly I think you should just go for it, what is the worst thing that can happen?" She says.

That's easy for her to say.

I mean what is the worst thing that could happen? A lot of things could happen but are all those things realistic or is it just my paranoid mind making up scenarios?

"Um, I don't know...they might hate me and embarrass me?" I state the most obvious.

I might be a little biased since they're the hockey team; athletes often mean trouble. I see them as these bullies, but that is a stereotype that society has printed into my mind. I've seen all the movies and read all the books. They are always portrayed the same.

Nevertheless, the athletes in my high school were nice to me. I had known them for years and my boyfriend was on the team, hence they liked me. The hockey team here are the most popular guys in college, they don't know me and don't have the incentive to like me.

"Why would they ever do that, I doubt they even know who you are, no offense but you never go to parties and Del isn't even dating Tamara anymore so they have no reason to hate you or know who you are."

"What if they think I'm just some weird geek?"

I am never at parties. Most of the time I'm studying in the library. They literally never see me in a 'fun' situation or what they perceive to be fun anyways. It's always just me with my nose in the books.

"They won't, but if you want them to get a better impression of you and see you can be fun, why don't you come to a party with us? There is a big one on Thursday. It would be the perfect opportunity for you to mingle and get acquainted with the team. You'll see they aren't so bad after all." She looks with pleading eyes trying to get me to agree.

Darlene has been trying to get me out of my shell for ages now, but I haven't given in.

"I don't know, you know I never go to parties." I hesitate, I hate to admit but the offer sounds good. I mean it would be a good opportunity to see which way the wind blows as I stay in the background.

They will all be there and they won't notice me since I'm not involved with them yet.

"Come on, just this once. You'll see that they aren't all too bad. And if you want to go home, I'll leave with you right away. But I think you could have some fun." She sounds persuasive, and it is working for me.

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