Dressed To Kill

Chapter 50- Hurt

hello my lovelies,

I hope you had a great day today and if not, I promise you there will be better times.

Have fun reading and always remember that you are amazing and enough.

I love you, bye.

Amara Calvetti

When we are children everyone always tells us that we should be truthful. They say that lying is bad and bad kids get punished. We shouldn't have secrets... we shouldn't hide them but do they really want to know the truth?

Do we really want to know everything?

I think the people who tell us this...

Should shut the fuck up.

My entire life I wanted to be smarter than anyone else. I wanted to know everyone's secrets.

My family's, my friend's, my enemies... everyone's.

And now?

Now I wish I wouldn't know.

I want to fall to my knees and beg to not know the truth.

To not know his secret.

I want him to smile at me and lie.

I want him to lie so fucking bad, I can't breathe.

I wish I would have never seen what I saw.

I want him to choke on his goddamn lies so he knows how it feels when all the oxygen leaves your lungs and you have to fight for your life.

The memories replay in my head when I first saw her but even though she sounded like a mean cunt... I believed that she was just insecure. I thought she didn't really mean it... she just let her anger out on people she doesn't know but now...

"How did you manage to get the boss to let you move in with him. You must be really good in bed and your pussy has to be fantastic, otherwise, I can't figure out why he would keep you. I mean do not get me wrong, but you do not look special at all. Just a basic bitch who jumps on every man with money.", she spits out.

I didn't know that she would go this far.

God, why can't I fucking remember her name...

Something that starts with an E. Emma... Elizabeth... Everly?

Elisa.

Yeah, that's her name...

Elisa.

Elisa.

Elisa.

A beautiful name.

So beautiful that he is probably moaning this name right now but who am I to judge?

I am mad at her, even fucking furious because she knew that we are married. She knew it and she still did it and then dared to grin in my face, stomping at my already shattered heart. But I am not mad at Adriano, I am not furious.

I am so disappointed and confused. When I have to describe what's going on in my head I would say that it feels like I am floating in the universe, completely alone, the infinity surrounding me.

It's too much to even explain because it is much more than my brain could ever comprehend so it seems like I am dreaming and I want to wake up... I want to wake up so bad but I can't because how can you wake up from your own life?

God, my entire fucking life is a nightmare.

I was betrayed by this world so often and I learned to live with it because when I fell in love with Adriano I finally found my home... a world I am safe in, only for him to take this home away.