sefirin kiz

chapter 3

Gediz was finding it unbearable to stay in house. He left in his car. while driving he was thinking its irony, he had the women that he was fighting for to be with. She was at home with his last name, but he wasn't happy. The weight of forced marriage was taking over him. It was just a beginning. It was like he was stuck in a darkness, everywhere he went was dark. He had been living it for quite a while. He was fighting with sancar, he wanted to show him his place but life showed him his place. Dad had taken over their legacy and inheritance pronounced it as theirs. Sancar was the king of place he thought. He stopped at the tea shop. Went in and asked for the tea, still lost in his thought, when he realized people around him were behaving strange. Everyone was mumbling to each other, as if they were talking about him. Exactly then sancar came in, for a moment he thought, he wont be served tea. Everyone were greeting sancar. He understood. Villagers give too much importance to words, it was his marriage to nare that was the topic. They took it as a biggest betrayal that anyone can commit. He was married to sancar's ex-wife. Sancar wanted to show him his place. He was served tea on sancar's insistence, sancar wanted to show that his place in this village was at his mercy. The place is for man of words, men who keep their promises.

Gediz left from there. Kavruk was waiting by the car. He went back to his place by the sea to unwind, sancar's men were waiting and asked him to leave from there. He realized sancar will not leave any stone unturned to hurt him and punish him. He anticipated it, but living it would be so difficult. He went to a lonely place and sat in the car. It was all so depressing like stuck in a rut. He didn't want to go back home. He was asking same questions again and again. All the planning and the arrogance to win it at any cost took him nowhere. Like a wounded animal, he had none to lick and heal his wounds. He had to do it himself. Socially outcast, he knew it was going to be difficult to build his business back again, but will he be able to build the social reputation that he lost, he didn't know. He was growing also worried about his mum and muge. They would face this too for all his fault. And Nare, she is strong, but she may find it difficult to face it here.

In last few days, he has been so drawn into darkness, every single move he lost, he went a rung lower. He wasn't like that. A tear dropped from his eyes. Sahra, he fell for her. He felt an immediate connection with her. She was smart, but she had a mysticism to herself. He thought he could save her from the darkness. He can live a life of love and understanding. But in a flash, she changed. She couldn't give away her revenge. Perhaps revenge, and wanting something by hook or by crook just keeps on pulling you down. And you jump into an abyss where you don't recognize yourself.

No work, no money, no social status and no peace. How low a man's life can be? He thought. Perhaps he did feel he hit that rock bottom now. It was time to pull himself together. Sometime away form everyone, but Nare's thought stopped him. He cant leave her alone. Its trying time for that girl. She is alone, with a man who she cant trust and doesn't love and without his daughter. The man she loves is standing like a mountain infront of her. He cannot save her from the situation but he can love her, can he?

His mind was muddled with thoughts. He finally made a promise to himself, I will stand for Nare as she wants him to be. He will give her the respect that she deserves. He will not loose himself infront of her. If he loves her, he has to let her be and let her live the life that she deserves, and not create any bond with him. She may take time to understand it, believe it and trust it but he resolved to stay on right path, like he used to be. It may not return to his good old days, but he can try.

He will not stand in way of sancar, nor will he answer him back. Man is right, I have taken away his life. He tried but he failed. Like nare said once, sancar is her love and pain. I have no place in her life. Maybe one day she forgives him. He will now live to be forgiven and that's the only way to come out of this darkness, to come out of rut and try to become the old gediz that made and kept everyone happy. With this he started his car ignition and drove back home.