sefirin kiz

chapter19

In the night, Gediz came home to her surprise. Nare was in bed when she heard a knock on the door. She was getting up, when she saw Gediz coming in.

'Gediz?'

'yes, I thought of coming today'

'when did you come?'

'just now'

'any reason for coming?'

'no, just wanted to come back' he said while taking his watch off his wrist and started to take off his jacket. Nare kept looking at him and thought, does he know what happened with kahraman. But she hasn't told anyone.

Gediz turned around and asked 'why you look so surprised?'

'no nothing' she denied.

'I will change and come and will drink some coffee together'

Nare nodded and asked, 'should I get it?'

'no, I will make my special coffee for you' he said smilingly. nare folded her legs up and sat on the bed. She pulled the cushion close to herself trying to hide her anxiety and threw her head back. When gediz came back he saw tense nare trying to breathe may be trying to hold on to something.

He extended the coffee mug to her and said 'here' Nare extended her hand to hold the cup by its rim, he cautioned 'its hot, let me just turn it around for you, hold it now' Nare took the cup by its handle and sipped on the coffee.

'did you like it?'

'yes, like always' she said

'thank you. So how was the day?'

'good. How was yours?'

'good, just hectic. Usual problems, meetings. Its never relaxed'.

'working comes with its share of stress' Gediz listened to her quietly.

Nare appeared engrossed in her coffee mug and dawdling her finger on rim of the mug said 'gediz...' hesitatingly. Her heart was leaping inside nervously. She was yet not sure was she doing the right thing. 'can I ask you something?'

Gediz leaned forward on the chair and bent closer to her 'hmmm...I am listening' he could feel her tension as well.

'you said ....' She stopped. Her mouth went dry.

'yes..'

'can we give each other a chance?' she let out and looked up at him finally. Her heart was beating fast. Her fingers were trembling, and she clutched the coffee mug tightly to hide it. She looked in his eyes eagerly. He was wide eyed. He had not expected that from her. He was bewildered. He raised his eyebrow and kept his mug on the side table. He pulled her hand and kept his hand on hers and stroked her hand. He was speechless and was searching for the right words which failed him today.

He finally looked at her and said carefully after choosing his words 'Nare, do you know I wanted to listen to this always, I might have played this million times in my mind. But, not like this. I want you to consider me only when you feel I am worthy enough, not because you are stuck in this option with me'

'gediz, ...' gediz cut her 'nare, I will wait forever but when you ask for a chance for us, I want you to ask because you look at me as Gediz and not as your husband with whom you are stuck in this agreed marriage contract. Alright?'

She nodded and accepted looking down. Her eyes welled up and she wiped her eyes. Perhaps gediz was right she agreed. She was yet confused.

Gediz got up and went to the balcony to breathe some fresh air. It felt the same when he had confessed her his love. Why his heart was crying. His heart was wrenching in grief. But in some time, he could see few faint rays of hope seeping in his body. Jumping and playing antics like a river flowing in between the rocks and forcing itself sometimes eroding the rocks passing by.