sefirin kiz

chapter16

When Nare got down from car, for a minute she was pulled in her past again. Those vivid images of her mother's death and time after that. Her sufferings, her loneliness, her helplessness, she was roped in the well again. She started reliving it. She had buried those days somewhere deep inside, the soil was dug again, and pain was re-emerging. She stood still outside and then when she looked up at the apartment, she buried it again like she did in past. She remembered her letters to sancar. 'Happy letters' which she wrote to him. Those letters helped her to remind of the good things in her life. With those letters she would reinforce happiness again.

With those letters, she shared with sancar her dedication and faithfulness. She shared her wishes, her wish to be loved and cared for. With every letter, she sent him a part of her wish that she wanted to live. Sancar always returned her letters with care and love that she longed. She felt she belonged to him. She had built an image of sancar, whom she loved. Sancar, naïve, loving, he will do anything to keep her happy, her home, those summer vacation, when sun would shine bright and with warmth. To her sancar, was that, away from all the deceit of world, a simple man.

She was suddenly, brought to reality by another car approaching the porch of the apartment. She wiped her eyes and walked back to the apartment. As she reached, she took the key out of her purse and opened the door. She kept the key back in her purse and looked for muge and refika. They were not there, she was relieved, she wanted some time alone to herself. She went inside the bedroom and sat on the couch, curled, tugging the pillow close to her bosom. She rested her chin on it and closed her eyes. She felt tired. She slept. When her eyes opened, it was dark, she got scared. She looked everywhere around, she couldn't hear anyone and she couldn't see anyone. She put her feet down and tried to adjust her vision to the darkness. She got up and groped the wall for the light switch. She heard sound of footstep. She got defensive and looked around for something to attack in case if she is attacked. She stood close to the door, hiding. She saw someone peeping through the door and she jumped infront of him and was about to attack, but stopped. It was gediz, he ducked his head in defense and loudly cried 'nare...' in the attempt to save himself from being hit gediz fell on the floor. Nare flustered. She started mumbling sorry sorry...she looked for the light around and switched it on. Gediz was lying on the floor, propped against the wall in the small corridor.

She bent down to him to check. She saw bleeding on the wall. Gediz's eyes were half open, she patted his cheek, 'gediz..gediz' he opened his eyes 'are you alright?' 'yes' she helped him stand up and took him to bed. As he sat, she checked from where the bleeding was coming from? He had a small injury on back of his head. He said 'I am alright, don't worry'

17

'let me call doctor'

'no..i am fine. I feel alright' he gently pushed her hand, reassuring her there was nothing to worry.

'are you alright? Why you got so defensive. This is a safe place'

'I was sleeping and woke up with a start as I was looking for light switch, I heard your footstep..'

'nobody comes here, its safe here, apart from me'

Nare was embarrassed for her behaviour 'I am sorry gediz. I am always a bit defensive in a new place'

'hmmm.. are you not comfortable being here alone?'

'no..no'

'let me know, because muge and mum had to go back today, I forgot to tell you'

'everything alright'

'yes, muge had few things to sort at marina and mum went back with her'

'ok' she maintained her eyes down. She felt a bit uneasy. Gediz got up and said 'I just came to check you, I have an evening business party to attend so I will come back late' he walked towards the wardrobe to get his clothes and asked 'by the way do you want to come with me if you are uncomfortable alone'