COMPLETED
Penn State University.
Home to the craziest sorority girls, most obnoxious football players, and a girl who never wanted to be there in the first place.
Ellie Webber hates Penn State. But she is only there because her twin brother is the...
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THIS IS A MATURE CHAPTER DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT MATURE. XOXO- NOMI.
Ellie Webber
Hesitation.
According to Merriam Webster, to hesitate is an act or instance of hesitating. To be hesitant you have to show some slight pause. You have to pause and hold before answering or acting,
To hesitate meant that you were overthinking your answer. To hesitate meant that you were double-checking that you were making the right choice.
And he was hesitating.
I hated the way I felt for him. I hate the way that he loved me, even if it is all that I could've ever dreamed of. I hated the way he was loving me. I hated the way that this is how he told me– it made me hesitate. It made me think and ask myself the question if it hadn't all gone wrong on the rooftop– would he still have told me over this trip?
But now, here he was, staring at me like no tomorrow and I had just asked him to kiss me.
I blinked slowly as I waited– as he hesitated to act on my question. And why the hell did I even ask him to do that? I mean, now I just felt dumb as I waited for him to respond to my question. Hesitation was cutthroat. Hesitation meant that you were being thought over.
If there was one thing I had heard about Reese throughout the entire campus is the fact that he knew how to fuck.
But I had never once heard that he knew how to make love.
So if the last memory I have of him here is us together, in this room, not hesitating– then so be it. The last thing I want is to leave a bad door opened to a place that I have to return to. The last thing I want is to say that I didn't try.
The last thing I want is for the truth to set in more than it already has.
An attraction to my cousin? An attraction to my cousin who does look like me. An attraction to my cousin before he ever knew I was living. An attraction to my cousin who was not attracted to him. An attraction to my cousin when I did not even know who she was.
