Too Late

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4:12 a.m.

My messy hair blocks my eyes, as I am awoken in a cold sweat. Bleh, I feel gross and I am completely aware of the fact that I will not be able to fall back asleep like this. My feet find the floor, as a freak emerges from the wooden floors. The cold strikes through the heel of my foot as my head snaps in the direction of Sarah to make sure I don't wake her this late. Through the pitch black, I find myself at the door and slowly allow myself to turn the knob, with minimal noise. Once outside of the bedroom I take a breath, and head past my brothers door into the bathroom. The bathroom is connected to Rafe's bedroom and I can see his bedroom light is still on. Does this boy ever sleep?

A sharp inhale escapes my lips as the chilled water hits the back of my neck and runs down my back. The water slowly turns to a steam as I run my fingers through my water hair and let water run down my face. This is bliss. Just as the moment is being appreciated, a click. And a creak. The door is opening. Rafes door. Into the bathroom I am clearly showering in. At four in the morning. "Excuse me?" I say through the wall of the shower curtain, the only thing between my bare body and Rafe. I clutch my chest and speak again. "Rafe? What are you doing?" I hiss at him. No reply still. I turn off the water and poke my head out the curtain just as he is reaching for the faucet and turns it on. How thoughtful, that would have halted my hot water. I roll my eyes and examine him. He splashes his face with water and exits the room without looking at me twice.

Once Rafe exits my safe haven of steam and warm towels, I wrap myself in the closest towel and find my feet are marching into his bedroom. My mouth opens as I find the boy sprawled out on his bed in a daze. As this part of the house is separated I feel comfortable half-yelling. "What in God's name are you doing? I might not have even been in the shower yet? You could have knocked. Or maybe acknowledged the fact that you burst into the bathroom at four a.m.!" I spit at him. He turns his head to look at me, his eyes red, and mouth open slightly. Realization hits me like a brick and it's all I can do not to gasp. Suddenly I run over to the bed, finding Rafe in nothing but boxers and a line of cocaine on his side table. My ears turn red. Is he serious? He is going to bring drugs home on a vacation, and take them to the point where he looks like he is in another world, he could die. How idiotic could he be?! With instinct I slap him, and he comes to a little. His eyes meet mine and I see his anger. "Dammit what?!" he yells. I cover his mouth in an attempt not to wake the entire house. "What the fuck are you doing Rafe?" I criticize. He looks away.

This makes me sad, seeing him like this. I don't even have to like him to see how far gone he is. So reckless and stupid. As much of an annoyance as he is, nobody in this family wants him dead. Dead! He could die so easily. He doesn't even care who he hurts. Rafe is killing himself for fun. Tears well up and fall onto the pillow beneath me. Rafe turns his head, eyes glossed over, but nonetheless he rests a hand on my leg and whispers something I can't understand. I find myself holding his arm and crying as we both fall asleep. He is sure gonna have a rough day tomorrow, and I will most certainly not be making it any easier.

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⏰ Last updated: Apr 22, 2022 ⏰

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