In a open relationship

chapter 4

I arrive at the office at exactly 7 am ,surprisingly almost everyone is already here celebrating the company's big win , Miranda -our HSE spots me , a grin appears on her face as she calls me "Lauren !, over here! ".

they all turn to look at me yelling and chanting my name like I'm of any importance to this company, although they try to act normal I can see the pity in their eyes every time they look at me, they are the only people outside of family who know the truth about my relationship with Ethan .

"please come and join us " Joseph says , they are all gathered at the reception each with champagne glasses in their hands , Miranda hands me a glass , " cheers to taking Price Oils to new heights " Penelope , the receptionist shouts , " cheers !" we all click our glasses.

after the mini celebration -Miranda and I leave the group striding towards the elevator ," we are having a drink after work today to celebrate , Mr Price said that we are all going to receive a raise because of the many deals and offers we have been getting since the big win ". you'd think that as his wife I would be aware of this but no , the workers know more than I do about the company .

" is that so? no wonder everyone is early today ".

" are you okay ?" she asks as we enter the elevator , questions like these make my insides cringe , " of course why wouldn't I be ?",I smile at her and look at my feet, she's asking because she saw how Ethan made it seem like I'm his co pilot when I'm nothing more than his slave.

she looks at me for a while obviously not convinced , I am not okay , how can I be okay ? but by now I'm used to handling the pain on my own , I dug my own grave it is only fair that I suffocate in it alone.

" okay then if you say so, good luck for the day " she smiles warmly , I grin back at her as she gets off the elevator , I'm headed to the top floor where Ethan's office is , Miranda is what I call defying expectations , she's the youngest in her field , 5'8, not that thin weighing around 65kg and most intelligent person I've ever met , black hair and shoulder length, always wears heels even when the circumstances don't quite permit , every time I see her getting into that boss lady zone when she does presentations I get reminded of my now dead dream , this is how I used to picture myself , wearing classy suits dealing with the company's accounts etc. but life made it so that I can only dream of becoming such.... Ethan stole her from JL leaders , she's the only overpaid person in and out of this office , I would like to find out what she thinks of me , I bet she thinks I'm the dumbest person to ever walk on planet earth for allowing a man to treat me the way Ethan does , she broke up with her fiancé of five years last fall for lying to her about his dead father , to me an issue like that is not that deep but to her it is.

all in all she's a smart woman , knows how to get what she wants and doesn't stop until she acquires it , I admire her and so does every other woman and also a few men , we aren't bestfriends but I wish we were so that she can teach me how to be bold like her her and I aren't that different, I took a step that I knew would ultimately ruin me but I was prepared to endure it all and to top it all off my punishment is worse than I imagined but still I wake up everyday and walk in the very place where I get humiliated the most which is right here in the office , knowing very well how low the workers probably perceive me ,if anything I am stronger than her.

" deep breath , deep breath" I repeat as I stand in front of Ethan's door , I knock three times before he allows me in, " my coffee was supposed to be here 15 minutes ago" he says sternly sitting behind his desk.

" I am sorry " I stutter" I uh , lost track of time " .

he doesn't look at me " lost track of time or you were busy celebrating with the others downstairs? " , his eyes remain on his tablet .

if I say yes than my day is just about to start so I do not answer him instead I put the coffee on his desk and stand beside him , I  can't help but study him , Ethan is really beautiful , I used to tell him that everyday when we were still friends , he knew I didn't mean it in a romantic way so it was always just a normal thing to him , today he is wearing his favorite navy suit which brings out his eyes , he grabs the coffee , takes a sip , looks me dead in the eye and throws the coffee across the room , my skin shivers as I try to remain calm and not let the fear appear in any part of my body .

he stands up from his chair , nostrils flaring ," why are you so damn incompetent ?! " he shouts in my face loud enough for everyone on this floor to know the saga has started , in a few seconds almost everyone is surrounding the office which is made of glass , sometimes I get the feeling he made his office like this for this particular reason , when his dad was in charge it looked like every other office that is here which are completely covered with walls ,a person that is outside can not tell what the person inside is doing and not only that Ethan hates things that are made out of glass or anything that can break .

" why did God decide to create someone as incompetent as you and why is someone as stupid and worthless as you working at the World's second largest oil company ? , having you around is dragging the whole team down , we might've actually been number one by now if we did not have a bad spirit hovering around us all the time , you are a curse and a disgrace for our company , why are you still here ?, you can't even bring a simple cup of coffee on time , this coffee is no different than ice tea and you of all people know very well how much I hate ice " and that's because it also breaks , like every time I feel smaller than an ant , hearing someone I love addressing me with such piercing words is never an easy rock to swallow.

" I was ...." , " too busy celebrating with people who actually work around here whilst you do nothing , I have a meeting in the next 30 minutes , go back to your worthless sister's shop and get me my coffee , if it doesn't arrive here in the next 20 minutes I will make your life much worse than it is , why are you still here ? " he slams his desk glaring deep into my soul with his blazing hot anger.

any other person would think my life is already at its worst so what more can he do?, I know his ability , I know he can actually do it - make things worse than they are and since he is a man of his word I know he will do it , like a scared cat I rush out of his office pausing for a few seconds as I come face to face with everyone who is watching the drama , even the ladies who laugh about me and gossip about me all day .his words hurt . they cut deeper than any sharp sword , everyday he insults me using words that always have a way of tormenting my heart for the next 24 hours and then he makes sure to open another fresh wound before the previous one heals.

last week Friday he yelled at me for not refilling the blank papers on the printing machine and the day before he yelled because I couldn't find a yellow pen around the office and he wanted to use it at that very time , the day before it was about a missing pin , my point is he always finds an excuse to  belittle me .