In a open relationship

Chapter 38

monday morning .

" wakey wakey " I open my eyes to find Ethan with a cup of coffee standing next to my bed .I almost kick it out of his hand.

" woah you almost scared me , why are you trying to kill me over coffee?"he staggers backward.

"Sorry,I was ... " .

he is still wearing his pyjamas , I glance at the clock .

" aren't you usually at work by this time ? or aren't you going ?" I sit up leaning on the headboard .

"No good morning ?,how did you sleep ? .... It's fine " .

"And no I'm not ,its our anniversary week we have to prepare , we are going cake tasting today , the place is about two hours away from here" he says joyfully.

" cake tasting ?"confusion is evident in my face ,"you always do things on your own , why are you involving me? "  

he sighs "Lauren we already talked about this " , 'have we really ?'  ," we are doing things differently this year , its your anniversary and your opinion will be very much appreciated " he says ," here , he hands me the coffee .

" wake up and get ready , I will do the same" he leaps away from my bed .

" but this is supposed to be my first day as the CFO , isn't skipping going to set me behind ,? I am already behind , since I have to recover for the months we didn't have a CFO ".

" don't worry about that , I can hire someone to help you , you will start next week , because I doubt we are going to step into the office this week , tomorrow we are going food tasting  and I organised a spa day for me and you to relax just like the olden days , Wednesday is photoshoot day , and thursday we have fittings and friday is the big night . you will start next week my dear friend " .

" but what about Kam?, I heard you talking about getting started right away last night ".

" I already spoke to him , he understands ".

" Wait a minute , Kam ?" Eyes narrow.

" Yes Uhm that's the name our Geo teacher used to call him "I cover up.

"  I see, I heard you calling him that last night I was starting to think you came up with it which would be really weird since you two aren't that close " .

I simply shake my head ," that's not it ".

he stops by the door , " please get ready we are leaving in 30" he leaves my room.

I wonder what happened to him over the weekend , he is trying too hard , first the dinner and now this ,coffee?, I am already exhausted before we have even started, but this is sort of a dream come true , I will get a say over my anniversary party for the very first time since we got married, Sarah not being around is proving to be very beneficial to me , even though it doesn't sit well with me that she left under a false pretext  I think he had time to himself which made him realize just how terrible he was and he feels overly guilty about it that's why he is now trying to make up for his mistakes .I think.

after getting ready I run downstairs , wearing my tight light blue jeans and a simple yellow T shirt , Ethan is also wearing casual clothes ," I didn't make breakfast because I thought we could grab something to eat at McDonald's " .

" Oh . that's great " I say hanging my bag over my shoulder , "should we leave ?".

" yes of course" he opens the door for me , he is creeping me out.

.....

we are parked outside mcdonalds eating our food , I proposed that we eat inside but he refused saying that people inside would disturb us by wanting to take pictures.

" hey how many people did you say  were at your dad's Dalfi ?" he asks out of nowhere .

" 8 .. I uh mean 5 ...7 "

he laughs with his burger in his mouth , " are you sure you can take on the CFO position with such bad math skills ?" .

"well good thing we have calculators these days "

Kam texts me , I look at it and turn my screen to face my lap.

" who is that ?"

"  Caitlyn " I answer eating my fries .

" why don't you reply " .

I look at him and nothing in his expression tells me that he suspects anything , he is just trying to make conversation so that the awkward silence does not suck the air out of this car too much .

" I will call her back , I'm sure she just wants to know how I am doing" .

.....

The day is almost over , Ethan and I just got back , the cake tasting place was too far , either that or Ethan was driving too slow .

I finally had the opportunity to partake in planning my anniversary , but throughtout the whole day my mind has been on Kam so I ended up agreeing with all of Ethan's opinions .

yesterday's scene was replaying in my head ,I don't know its too soon to tell , but I think I'm in love with him .

I love Ethan or loved , my own head is a battle field and the team thats winning is the one that says I love Kam , the thought of losing him makes me scared all the time, I only feel secure and safe when he is around , I stayed up last night sniffing my jersey which was scented immensely with his cologne , it was like he was right beside me .

" dinner ?" Ethan asks .

" no no I am fine " I take of my shoes  , " how did you manage on your own this before? , I want to go to bed " .

" welcome to my world " .

  " Get some sleep I promise you are going to need it more tomorrow ,good night ".

" Good night " I'm still not used to the pleasentaries .

I actually command him , all the anniversary parties were extra ordinary I had no idea this is what he went through, getting in and out of shops buying the things we need , having worn out feet , but his motivation was revenge hence he didn't mind .

I head straight for my room to finally call Kam, I have thought about it and I have finally come to a decision - I want him, I want to be his , there is no use holding on to a marriage that is not there, I deserve to be happy and I derseve a good guy like Kam just as Caitlyn said ,besides this is an open marriage afterall, I fear if I push him away now I might actually lose him . I also want someone who is for me by my corner, Ethan has Sarah's back and I need Kam to have mine , I love waking up to the sweet good morning messages he always sends me, I realised this as we were preparing for our fake anniversary, Kam once said" you deserve happiness,you deserve something real" in one of our Skype calls and I see that too now . He is the one I have a shot with , only he can give me the true joy and happiness that I need.

I attempt to make the call but my network goes completely off  with the sign 'Emergency calls only' on top , "this is an emergency call!" I shout at the phone throwing myself on my bed out of frustration .