HIS OBSESSION (18+)

Chapter 68: SWALLOW MY PRIDE

I walked into the mansion and the scent of food was the first thing I smelled. I walked straight into the dining room since it had to be where he was. My eyes got caught on all the food set on the table and then I saw Axel sitting on his chair. I knew he heard as I walked in but he didn't look. I stood by the door frame for a second. I looked at everything and it seemed as if he hadn't eaten anything yet.

I walked into the room and sat next to him. "Hey--I." Axel walked off and left me there. Is he seriously angry that I went with my brother instead of asking for his permission first. This is bullshit. He is going to answer me one way or the other. I'm starving and the smell of all this food in front of me isn't helping. I controlled myself and got up. God knows where he went.

I'll probably shoot his ass for making me go after him. He isn't a baby and I am not his slave. I keep telling myself that I should leave him and not care but I couldn't. I can't sit at the table and eat not knowing if he ate as well. For making me worried, I'll kill him.

I stopped right at his room when I heard him talking on the phone  about Zade. He began yelling at some people over the phone. My guess is that he doesn't want Zade being high or drunk but some assholes are still giving him what he wanted. "I don't care if he's a serpent too. I'm the fucking leader and you are not to give him anything again." He hung up the phone with rage. He really does care about all of the Serpents.

He began calling someone else,"hey it's me. Zade's high again. I'm at home and Damon is with him right now. Go check on Zade for me. I would've gone myself but Damon wouldn't want to see me right now. Make sure he's fine and don't carry Axel. he'll probably start shit on damon."

He was definitely talking to Ace. Axel threw his phone on the bed and I walked into the room. He fully ignored me so I began having a conversation,"Don't you think it's weird when you call your brother Axel."

Axel rolled his eyes but replied anyway,"Well it is his first name."

"Why don't you call him Grayson. It is his middle name," I continued. He started taking off his shirt and I couldn't help but watch. He caught me staring but I couldn't give one shit. He smirked and finally decided to answer me,"Because he's my brother and I've been calling him Axel ever since."

"and him."

"he calls me Axel too," he replied. "my fucking mother. why'd she have to name both of us the same." His eyes caught mine and we stared at each other as if we could do it forever. My phone buzzed and made us lose eye contact. I looked down at my phone to see that Damon messaged. He's staying with Zade and he said that they'll be fine. At least now I don't need to be concerned as much, besides Damon's there so everythings fine.

He didn't know what to say to me and this became awkward very quick. It was like him to be sarcastic or annoying, but instead he knew that there will be an ending. He didn't know how it would unfold and he chose to ignore me. His birthday passed and I am leaving so we have nothing left to say.  I don't blame him though. He wasn't in his office yet he pulled out papers and began writing.

It made no sense that I stood there. He clearly didn't want to talk and I. I wanted him to talk to me and he aggravates me, but hearing his voice somehow would've made everything better. Before walking off and never coming back I turned around,"Axel why do you pretend to like me. most dudes say that all they want to do is fuck me, at least they are being honest but you..why do you do it. i know that you barely like me and you are probably here right now because of my body and not me..just like other guys."

He didn't even look at me. I waited trying to find his eyes but he didn't look up. I turned back, waiting for him to answer. I wanted to hear him talk back to me. Come on, fucking say something. "except I fucked you and they didn't," he replied.

I smiled to myself and at least I got to hear his voice before I leave. "I know you little nightmare and that's why i'm here," He added. I stood by the door but faced the other direction so my back was faced at him. "yea obviously you'd say that."

"I like the way you get defensive when you tell the truth because you hate when someone doesn't believe you so you feel as if you have to prove a point, and when you're defensive all you're really trying to do is make them believe you," he muttered and I froze but didn't respond.

"I like the way you say nothing when you lie because you know deep down that you hate it, although you wouldn't mind lying to your victims, but you hate lying to family or anyone you care about, so you rather stay silent than lie further."

I grabbed onto the phone that was still in my hands. Holding onto it tightly. "The way your eyes light up when you see thunder and lightening. the way you try to hide your smile by giving off a sarcastic response."

He knows me more than I know myself. does that scare me. of course it does. I didn't want to hear him telling me about myself anymore, so I changed the topic," What happened to you with your mother. I haven't heard anything about her. I heard rumors of what your father did but your mother was never mentioned."

For a second I heard the sound of something breaking. He either made a mistake and broke something or he threw something out of anger. I heard his voice crack,"Sofia-- I."

"No. Its fine you don't need to talk about it if you don't want to." The mansion went silent. All of a sudden I heard footsteps and I wanted to turn around to see what he was doing but I didn't. He murmured in a low voice,"No I do. You trusted me when you told me about devin so."

I took a few breaths then turned to face him. He was sitting at the edge of the bed. He met my eyes,"I'm going to trust you too."

"I thought that they were safe and happy. Deep down I kinda envied the thought that I was suffering yet my brothers were getting the best life. When I found out that they were tortured in the worse ways possible..it broke me because they are still blood. They had to make choices that would be impossible for anyone to make and Ace..he did whatever it took to protect Axel. I don't know much about it, they never told me but it turned them into what they are now. It messed with their heads. She sold them. Her own fucking children. That's why Axel hate women. That's why Ace trust no one and that's why I hate everyone but the serpents. We came from the same evil people and we turned out to be much worse,"

"I wasn't going to kill her. I looked at her for the last time and I wanted her to love me. I usually use people, its what I'm good at but now I'm foolish," he said as he looked to me. He was talking about me. Did he stop using people for me..No.

"Anyways her last words drove me crazy. I pulled the trigger," he ended. He pulled away his hand from mine and grabbed anything that he could and threw it on the floor. A few glasses broke.  He's shaking. He's blank, cold and lifeless right now. I swallow my pride for a moment because he needs me right now. I placed my hand on his shoulder and he steadied for a second.

I never heard him cry before. Maybe sad, angry and tears in his eyes but this...he was a mess. "I-I.., I don't know w-ww-why I'm crying," he shakes as he looks away from my eyes. "I--I'm not weak," he gasped. "I've had worse, I--I handled more."

He was still trying to be strong. His fear was that he never wanted to be seen as weak. His mother caused him to be cruel and he lived in it. The thought of ever being vulnerable or people not fearing him, would kill him.

"I know. Crying doesn't make you weak," I say in an almost whispered tone. I shouldn't be the one talking though cause I am the same. I hate crying and sharing emotions. I don't like anyone seeing me vulnerable so maybe Axel and I are the same after all.

His breaths slowed as I turned him to face me. Tears streamed down his face as I stared into his glistening eyes. I placed my hands on his face,"Don't worry. Take your time. I'm not judging you."

He smashed his lips onto mines and I could tell that this was an angry fuck. He needed to get out his anger and I did too.