PALE BLUE EYES. kurt cobain

005

Dinner was painfully awkward. I mean painfully. I couldn't help but glance at Kurt from time to time and most of that time he was already glancing back at me. All I could think about was sitting on that couch and being less than and inch away from Kurt's lips. It made me feel almost queasy.

"So," Kurt finally spoke up after the silence, "should we talk about..." I didn't mean to cut him off but my defensive side came out like a lion.

"No! We should- we should forget about it. It's just the professional thing to do. That's what this nanny arrangement is. Professional." I said like I was some big, fancy word girl. I couldn't help it. Every voice inside my head was screaming "this is so wrong!" I wanted to cry. I had feelings for a married man who would never ever have feelings for me.

"You're right," he agreed, "I forgot about it already. How's the pizza?" I smiled at his attempt to move on and shrugged.

"It's alright for Seattle pizza." I giggled slightly.

"Yeah," he mumbled, "listen... I have something crazy to ask you." I raised an eyebrow tempting him to go on. I could tell he was deathly uncomfortable and he almost looked guilty for even considering to ask me this.

"Kurty!" I heard that voice and the door slam. I quickly brushed my legs off and tried to sit up straight. Kurt seemed to be rolling his eyes. He looked so annoyed but trying to hide it. I didn't say a thing but just waited for Courtney to come into the kitchen.

"Oh! Lorelai! You're still here?" Her expression changed but somehow was still masked with a fake smile. I knew one when I saw one. Courtney didn't like me. And that was fine because I sure as hell didn't like her either.

"Yes," I tucked some hair behind my ear, "I should get going. Same time tomorrow?" I looked at Kurt. Courtney butted into my eyesight and nodded at me.

"Same time!" She repeated.

I wasn't asking you. I pondered saying it out loud but I'm a better person than that. I quickly ran to the living room and said goodbye to Frannie before grabbing my things and leaving. I saw Kurt get up from his chair like he was going to walk out after me. He soon sat back down as Courtney kissed his cheek and took a slice of pizza. I sighed and hopped in my car. I was really going to miss Frances tonight.

And yes, I'd miss Kurt too.

♡

Early the next morning, I stopped into Mary's coffee shop. I realized that since I didn't work here anymore, I didn't get to see my best friend everyday. So, I got some coffee.

"Hey stranger. How's the rockstar?" She asked with a smile. I only brushed the question off. Being around Kurt made me forget he was a rockstar, I mean I knew he was. But he was just a normal guy and I got the feeling he didn't like being praised like this.

"How's business?" I asked.

"It's shit." She answered truthfully. I frowned and placed a five dollar bill in the tip jar to maybe brighten her day. Mary smiled and gave me a friendly hug from across the counter. I took my coffee and headed down to Kurts house. It was so gloomy over here, but I didn't mind. It was calming to say the least.

I knocked on the door and prayed that Kurt would be home. Courtney answering the door shut that down pretty quick. I kept my smile though.

"Lorelai! Come in! I'm just about to leave." I walked in and placed my purse on the counter. Courtney was touching up her makeup in the mirror. I decided to find Frances and she was in her same spot. The crib. I smiled immediately. I had truly missed her while I was away. Picking her up, I said some sweet baby words to her just to say hi.

The door slammed and I realized that Courtney had just left. I shrugged it off once again and placed Frances back down. Another day of figuring out how to keep this little Angel entertained. I wondered why Courtney left so quickly. Not even saying goodbye to her daughter. I'm not one to judge but it did make me think.

As the clock struck 12, I mixed Frances's formula and fed her softly in the chair. As I did so, I watched the TV. Nothing good was on, just the news. I hated the news. So bleak. And then suddenly the door opened. It was only noon? Was Kurt back?

"Hey." He entered the living room. I smiled grandly as he took a seat beside me and rubbed Frannies head. I wanted to ask what he was doing back so early but I realized that was a little silly since this was his home and he could walk in whenever he pleased.

"Should I get going?" I asked.

"No, stay!" Kurt answered quite quickly, "I mean... if you want to. I could use the help. Hey, you could teach me how to cook!" He said with excitement. I nodded with a slight shrug. This could be really fun.