Chapter 18

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"Y/n?"Jungkook called out to you from the driver's seat, catching a glimpse of you who didn't utter a single word since you both left Kim mansion. Even though he called out your name, you were still in your own thoughts.

He placed his hand over yours, finally making you look at him. "Are you alright?", he asked. And you silently stared at him. You had no answers left. Isn't this what you always wished for? Isn't this what you wanted from the very start? Then why were you hesitating?

[y/n's pov] :

"Am I alright?" That's what he asked and how am I supposed to say no? How am I supposed to tell him I am not alright? My heart was in extreme pain..I don't want to leave him...I don't feel like leaving him.. And there's this bad feeling that I'm having. I don't even know what to call it but...I just don't feel good about it.

"Jungkook..", I finally spoke up. "mhm?", he asked and again I couldn't even say a word. I had so much to tell him, ask him and what..? And I don't even know what...

"Is it because of him?", he questioned after a long moment of silence. He glanced back at me again but this time there was this sad smile which was lingering on his face. He didn't wait for me to answer, instead he continued,"Y/n, do you love me?", and without any hesitation I nodded in response.

He stayed quiet for a moment before raising another question,"Are you in love with me?"Now this was a twisted question and this time I hesitated. And in response to my silence he lets out a sad chuckle. "You love me but are you in love with me?", he asked. Something in me was hurting....

"I need an answer...I need to know if this was all worth it...? Was...I late?", his voice cracked as he continued,"It's been 9 months since we parted our ways...", he stepped on the break and stopped the car before looking back at me giving me all of his attention.

"And something has changed in you...towards me..you're distant, cold..", his lips quivered. "I won't say I did anything wrong but what I did wrong was...hurt you..but..if you want me to stay away from you I will..", our eyes met and I could see the pain in his eyes, the tears he was trying his best to hold back from flowing. "jungkook..I love you..but..", And he cuts me again.

[Author's pov] :

"But..you're not in love with me", he completes her unfinished sentence. "You don't love me the way I love you...",And there was this heartbreaking silence between them. Some or the other way all of them were hurt...they say we can never love twice but how true can it be? If first love makes us fall in love then second teaches us how to be in love...or maybe...you were never in love before..?

We never love anyone truly until we realize what true love is actually like...

This kind of love is never planned, it's never intended, but still it just happens...she fell in love with someone she never thought she would...the story started with one sided love but by the time she was already in it.

And there is a guilt inside her somewhere telling her to stop thinking about him but is that what she really wants? The worst part of loving someone is if someday we lose them...we just don't lose them but we lose it all...

She was about to speak up until he interrupted her,"Don't say something that I don't want to hear...it's so easy to say that I want to know what you think but it takes courage to hear..I am scared of hearing you out maybe because I already know what your answer will be", Jungkook's eyes turned watery. Tears were continuously rolling down her cheeks as she looked at him.

"I a-am sorry...", her lips quivered as she slightly shook her head, tears still flowing down. "I don't know what this feeling is...I am at fault...I don't deserve love.. I don't deserve you..", she continued as she lowered her head.

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