i see you

The Olympics

Evangelia:
"It's soooo cool here, there's so many famous people that I've dreamt of meeting!" I tell Noah over the phone

"Are you starstruck by the people there? Hahaha yeah that sounds cool! How do you think it'll go?" He asks

"Yeah well I've seen their routines and the Russians will win they always win! The numbers are immaculate!" I simply answer

"I'm rooting for you Lia, The whole team is! We're going too watch it together with coach too, it'll be awesome!" I live how excited he is! More excited than I am.

"Angie we gotta go!!!!!!!!!!" Nick screams all over the fucking hotel

"Yeah yeah! Hey like you heard I gotta go, but I'll talk to you later! I love you Noah"

"I love you too! Good luck!" And we hang up

Me and Nick have a couple hours to just walk around in town! The Olympics is in Paris and I'm not missing out on shopping while in Paris! Some normalcy might be good right now.

"So how's lover boy doing?" Nick ask

"Noah's good! He's taking care of the dogs while I'm here."

"Fuuuuun! He is hot, cute, gorgeous!" Hahaha yeah I know

"So what's first? Coffee?" I ask looking at him

"Do you even have to ask?" No, no I don't!

This is our thing, buying coffee, spending more money than we should on clothes and bags and shoes! But it's fun we bond, talk and just you know hang. Nick is a great guy, he's fun and we laugh a lot! Like a lot!

"That dress hugs your body like a fucking glove! Look at your boobs in that... perfection! Get it!"

"Right it's like sooooo fucking hot! This dress is beautiful! I'm getting it!" It's black long tight with a deep v-neck. No idea on when too wear it, but I'd make a whole party just for it!

We walk around like a lot more and spend a lot more money.... A little too much! But it'll be fine, just need to buy a new apartment too for all this in. I've been thinking about that lately, maybe moving too a house... maybe with Noah. But just maybe, I'm not sure he'd want to but you know it's worth a conversation!

Me and Noah left on a good foot. I mean I stopped being angry with him, and both of us are just you know focusing on our relationship and our careers. It makes me so happy, he makes me happy! I don't feel the need to be alone, if I'm being honest I'm starting too fear that feeling.

Fearing the emptiness I was surrounded by for so long!

Which fears me beyond measure! If he leave me I might never heal again, I might not feel alive like I do now.

For the first time I've not been surviving but actually living.

——————
"Darling we need to talk" well that's never good... he sits close to me and grip me tightly on the arm, thank god I'm competing in a long sleeve!

"Tomorrow is the big day! Don't forget that this is not only about you, we are a team! Teams support each other and make sure we win! I want that gold in your hand or so help me god I will make sure you suffer!" Is this his coach Pep talk? It's not really a pep talk though....

"I'll do my best I promise!" I answer him hoping he'll let go, but this time he moves his hand to my throat...

"Your best is not enough, gold is the only thing that is enough! You are an ungrateful person and I expect that you will make this up too me by giving me that gold! Don't put me too shame tomorrow, like i said.... I'll make you suffer for it!" While he is slightly strangling me with his right hand... his left takes a little walk on my leg.

I don't understand... why can't I move! I'm a brutal murderer, I get paid to kill... but he makes me freeze! Non of my fight or flight senses kick in, I just sit there and let it happen! How? I don't know...
Why! I don't know!

I want to hit him!

Strangle him!

Kick him!

Torture him!

That's what I imagine, but I can't move... I feel 12 again! Like the daughter who became an orphan. I feel like the girl who became an item. And there's nothing I can do! He just control me like my parents, like mitchko did...

"You want a pep talk baby... win or I'll finally get a taste of you... hell I might even want you too loose now! Or I'll just get a taste of you either way!"

Don't cry,
Don't cry,
Don't cry,
Don't cry,
DON'T. FUCKING. CRY!

———————-
Noah:
I'm packing packing up my house fast. I couldn't start until she left and now I don't have long! Her competition is tomorrow and then she'll be gone for two more days, that equals more than a week. That gives me time too pack everything and leave before she gets back.

I'm thinking a note... no I can't, I can't leave a note! What would I write?
'Hello I'm leaving you after I fell for you but ever worse I got you too fall for me! Even though that should be impossible because you used too be stone cold and just a wall, now I love you and I'm leaving after I got you too trust me and get comfortable! Yeah I know I'm a dick! Bye love u Lia!!!'

Like I said I know I'm a dick, but I'm not that much of a dick... maybe I am...

Fuck, why? Why would I do this?

I was angry, but fuck this might have been too far! There's no going back! And yes I was hurt but does that make this right?

I don't know if I'm destroying her or doing her a favor, but I'm not sure how I'll live without her!

How am I supposed too wake up in the morning knowing that Ms. Evangelia black is out there living and me not being a part of her life anymore?

How am I supposed too live knowing that I hurt the person I love more than anything the world could ever offer me?

How can I ever repay this mistake? This might be the only question I have an answer for right now... and the answer is: I will never be able to repay her this because Im about too do the one thing I promised never too do... leaving

Authors note:
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Word count: 1162