Female ✔️

27: we deserve better

Before dawn, I am back in the Cave Cell. The scents of those males are still present, but now stale, a memory. They left hours ago. Though I do smell piss outside the entrance.

Assholes.

I tuck the stolen key inside a hole in the mattress and lay down in my fur. Sleep comes easily, washing away the wariness and fear.

Disorientation clouds my brain for a moment once I wake, there's an aching in my lower abdomen where life once grew. It is a reminder, one that vanished with the other good yet painful memories while the adrenaline and exhaustion surged through my system.

Laying on my belly, head on my paws, I stare off and allow myself a moment to picture Jack dancing to records with me, John's hand on my shoulder, the smell of Opal's apple bread, Asher's yoga lessons, the placid mountain lake, Jermayne's greenhouse care, Kieran's hearty laugh...

So many people, shaping me like clay, making me into the stronger wolf. The stronger female. I feel the power of my head, I see the things to come.

A single tear rolls down my cheek, dripping on to my paw, darkening the fur.

When I open my eyes again, I feel heavy and someone is rattling the bars.

"Montana, get up. Time to work." Shivers run down my back as Blu's eyes rake over me and his voice goes gruff. He holds a bundle of clothing in his hand, a small gesture I am greatful for as he unlocks the door and steps in. I watch his nostrils flare, taking in the scent of males. His eyes go hard, and then furious. "Males came in here last night..." His nose tips towards me and he takes another inhale. "Did they touch you?"

Staring up at him, no way to speak out loud, I consider mind linking with the scrappy memories but I don't. No words come to me, I was expecting an accusation towards me, not others. Not from this male.

"They tried." He reads my eyes, or maybe my thoughts. "Fuck. I knew he would try to pull something like this."

I don't know this wolf.

"Get dressed, I'll be outside." He tosses the bundle down by my side and strides out, beyond my sight.

Shifting back, I am met with frigid fall air. Today holds no warmth, the Sun is hidden behind a thick layer of clouds. No hint of the Summer left in this day.

I pull the thick sweater over my head, followed by the coarse, blue material of jeans that bag in the waist slightly. I pull my hair back, aiming toward a low bun look that Asher once taught me, but I let if fall when I realize I have no elastic to complete it.

Face to face, I meet Blu outside the Cave Cell.  His eyes meet mine for a brief moment before he nods for me to follow.

I've always had a big mouth, it is why I suddenly speak, "Have you taken another mate?"

A grunt my way is neither positve nor negative. "Do I look marked? Do I smell mated?"

"Just because you aren't doesn't mean you haven't." I say, regretting my words immediately as I realize what could've been given away with that statement. A double meaning.

"Have you?" He glances over his shoulder at me, marching through the woods towards the Pack house. He is sharper than I thought, smirking a little at this.

I don't utter a word, not wanting to lie, but not wanting to speak the truth either.

"I told you. This is all part of a plan, a new mate is not." He continues on anyway, relieving me.

"When do I get to hear about this plan?"

"You don't not yet." He spins on me so fast my breath catches in my throat as he is right in my face. Our heart beats lock up in sync at our proximity as if desperate for promised nothings. Our eyes too, holding each other, pleading. Even noses are a whisper away, his head is ducked so he is closer to me. "Not until I can trust you." His blue irises dart back and forth, searching, hoping. I have nothing to give, nothing that benefits him entirely.