In the Arms of an Angel..

12 You belong to me

When Peter, a friend of mine with a security agency, handed me over a report about a guy who my father / Stella hired to spy on me over the last 4 years, I didn't think much of it. Then I saw a picture of him with Zahra. And that was when I was angry.

Only once I have been betrayed in my life and that is by my father. But Zahra, pretending to be innocent could do something like that is disturbing. I really did come to like her. So, me and Peter did a quick search, and we got all the details. I need to know how much details she has given her brother. I gave her all my documents to keep in a safe place. I cant go shouting at her and demanding the documents. If she refuses, again I am screwed.

I thought I would pretend this day, get my stuff and leave for good tomorrow. When I entered the house, I could smell the food. Zahra had made my favorite Lasagna. She generally wait for me, but for what pretense I don't know.

But the moment I spoke, I had nothing but regret. I saw her eyes widen with shock, then hear eyes water with tears. She didn't touch the food, which she was about to eat. She didn't even raise her voice.

I just played everything that happened in this one month over and over again in my head. There will be some deception, fakeness or pretense. It has to be there. But when the truth settled in, I was feeling restless and angry.

Damn it. Over the past month, she gave me her bed and slept on that damn hard sofa. I didn't lift a finger to help her, but she did everything without complaining. Every time I enter the house or a room, she welcome me with a smile. Not even once had she tried to seduce me or take my attention. Only once accidently I saw her without head scarf. Uncomfortable as it may be, she kept it on.

I know what I said would have hurt her badly. What was I thinking accusing her of spying on me. Anyways, I am glad its all over. I will leave tomorrow and then, I will give a cheque to Zahra for all the trouble she took, and she will be able to live a comfortable life after that at a better place.

I didn't sleep well. And as usual, Zahra got up for prayers. I dint talk to her but got up. Friday is as good as any day to move out. And I started to pack my clothes. Zahra, then came with the files I have given her, and gave every item to me.

"Please check if everything is there"

That did it. I didn't know what came over me, but I threw the files on the floor, took one stride, and the next thing I know is, I was kissing her like a starved man.

*************************

I saw him packing. I know he would go. I had his documents in a safe place. I wouldn't have given them to anyone even at gun point. But there is no use telling that to Joe.

When I approached him, he was disturbed. But I am not in a position to console him. So, I graciously gave him the file, but the next thing I know is his lips were on mine. One of his hands holding my head, and the other one is holding my spine crushing me in his body.

I haven't been kissed before. I don't know how to kiss. But when his lips touched mine, I felt the time stood still. He kissed me hungrily at first, then pined me to the wall and kiss me leisurely, while I stood there like an idiot frozen. He slowly pulled my scarf, and then only realization stuck me.

"Please. This isn't right"

"This is F*cking right. I need to see your hair. I was dying to hold it since I saw it the first time" he said pulling my hair lose. I have long hair reaching up to my waist. It is thick and has a natural way of curving.

He inhaled my hair. Then kissed my neck. I was going weak in my knee.

"Please Joe, this cant happen. Please, Please"

Instead of stepping away, he kissed me again on my lips with time with so much passion, and my knee buckled and I almost fell on the floor, if not for Joe's hands arms holding me tight.

My shawl is no longer covering my hair. My hair is lose and Joe took all the liberty in the world to put his hand in my hair. He simply seems to love it.

"I am sorry" finally he said still having his fingers in my hair.

"You are f*cking beautiful" and this time before he kissed me, I stopped him.

"Punishing me for what happened yesterday?" he asked me breathless.

 "Joe, how can you say something like that? This isn't right. This is what will end up hurting me so badly. You belong to the world at large. You can and will do so much in life inshallah. I am glad you trust me a little bit. I am glad we sort out our difference, but this will stop now before it become too complicated" I told him finally.

"How can it become complicated?" he asked me frustrated.

"What you are seeing now, my hair , and what you did now, which is kissing are meant for one person only. I have explained this to you before. I don't sleep around. I belongs to one person, and I will keep myself for that person only"

"But you belong to me" he said irritated.

"I wish, I did. But we both know, it wont last longer. You need someone way way better and I can never be that person" I told him with understanding. Ofcourse I am not a cocktail dressed, sophisticated person who can navigate posh societies. Until a month ago, I was a maid at his house.

But if I thought reasoning could stop this madness, I was wrong. Joe again kissed me. I tried to fight but no use. The more I struggle, the firm and closer he held me. So I let him kiss me. When he lift his head finally, I could see a passion which is really scaring me, burning in his eyes.

Oh my God, what have I done...