Finding Him

52l Home

Straightening, Hadassah let out a nervous breath and allowed her feet lead her forward, her heart pounding wildly in her chest.

You shouldn't be here, common sense warned, you're not allowed here. Still, she kept moving, hope building up in her chest as she continued to make her way forward. There was a chance she was wrong, but then, there was a small chance she was right and it was the thought of being right that propelled her forward towards the man who stood leaning against the railing, his brown locks glistening in the sunlight. He had his back to her, oblivious of the war that waged within her as she reached him and placed a hand on his arm, her eyelids snapping shut.

Two years, she breathed softly, a cold wind washing over her. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around herself and struggled to maintain her footing. Two years since she was standing on that balcony, looking down at him as he strolled through the garden. Two years since she stared into the clearest blue eyes she had ever seen. Two years since she saw his face.

She listened to the man before her slowly turn around, her hold on his arm loosening as her hand fell to her side. Her breath ceased then and her heart rate tripled in speed as she waited for him to address her.

She must have been standing still for several seconds with her eyes closed. Yet, it felt like centuries of nervous silence. Would he be happy to see her? Hadn't he walked away from her, leaving her behind with nothing, neglecting to bid her farewell?

"He's gone." She didn't need to turn around to know it was Julius standing behind her, neither did his announcement surprise her. She knew when she woke up that morning without him by her side, that she would never see him again. "Hadassah, I- Forgive me." Her fingers trembled beside her as she stared down at the empty garden. "Forgive me for everything, for what I did. I shall find him, I shall fix my mistake, I shall..."

She turned around then, eyes coming to rest on Julius as he stood staring at her. Everything in her wanted to blame him, to lash out at him and blame him for everything that had happened so far. She wanted to scream in frustration, to fall to her knees and cry about fate's cruelty. But as she stared at Julius, she realized she couldn't, she couldn't blame him. She could neither blame him nor scream nor cry. She couldn't break down, not now, not when she needed to find Daniel.

So, she turned from Julius, made her way out of the door and never looked back. She had no money or a means to pay for her journey from Italy, so she took a job on a ship and hoped every day she would come across Daniel. She hoped she would find him onboard, on shore, somewhere, anywhere.

She had been hoping for two years.

"Daniel." The words drifted from her lips as her eyelids pulled apart. The sunlight flooded her vision, ridding her of the darkness as her eyes came to settle on the man before her.

Two weary lines creased his forehead, his skin glistening with sweat. His brows were forced together by a frown and his eyes beheld her in confusion.

Tears stung her eyes as she shook her head. "Forgive me," She bowed her head, afraid he'd see her tears and the disappointment in she knew was written clearly on her face. "Forgive me, my lord." She turned around and hurriedly walked away, fighting the desire to give in to her tears.

It was another week before the ship reached its destination. Exhausted, Hadassah decided she needed some time on the land. She made her way out of her small cabin and down the ship, her feet swaying slightly as it made contact with solid ground. She ran her eyes over the area and decided she didn't recognize it. She had failed to inquire about the destination of the ship and even as she stood there in the midst of the crowded dock, she found herself wishing she had.