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Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Shane's face was pinched as he walked toward her, and he narrowly avoided a collision with a waiter delivering a tray filled with crocks of soup and baguettes to the neighboring table. His eyes were fixed on hers. He sat opposite her at the small round bistro table, his knee brushing against hers as he settled in.

"Close call," he said. A smile cracked through the hardened expression.

"It's really great to see you, Shane," she said, immediately regretting it. She'd promised herself she wouldn't lead him on and she definitely wouldn't let herself lapse into wanting to give it another try with Shane. He was too nice, too good. He deserved someone who could really love him, like she loved...

"You look great, Laney," he said gently cupping her hand in his. Desperately she wanted to leave her hand there, basking in the warmth of his touch, his comfort. She slipped it away gently and folded it into her lap with her other one, praying for the strength to get through this—to do what she had to do.

She watched his eyes squint a little at the corners as he studied her. She took a deep breath, her chin beginning to quiver.But there's still time to stop, her inner voice shouted, he's a good man, you're lucky to have found him—keep him. Keep him.

"Thanks for meeting me," she said, sounding remarkably business like. The hardened façade was the only thing that was keeping her from crumbling to a heap on the floor. Normally she wasn't an incredibly emotional person, but these pregnancy hormones! They were wreaking havoc on her.

"Of course. How are you?" he asked, his face knitted with worry.

"Please don't do this," she said, her voice cracking with emotion. "Don't be nice to me, I can't handle it."

"Laney?" he questioned as he waited for her to compose herself.

"I...I...there is no other way to say this, so I'm just going to let it out. I'm sorry," she prefaced as she wiped a rogue tear away with the back of her hand. "I'm so, so very sorry. I just wanted to say that to your face."

"I know," he said softly. "I forgive you. I've had a lot of time to think, Delaney, and realize what's important to me." He took a deep breath. "You are important to me. And we all make mistakes."

She stared at him, blinking several times while she composed herself. "You want to get back together?" she asked incredulously.

"I didn't realize we'd officially broken up." He sat back in his chair. "I thought we were taking a beat." His face flushed.

Her stomach churned with guilt. "I need to be alone right now." She'd rehearsed a million ways to do this right, but now she felt tongue tied and inappropriate.

"Okay. I understand you need some space. I thought that is what we were doing." He chewed on the inside corner of his mouth as he awaited her response.

"I've never deserved you," she blurted out. She removed the linen napkin from her lap, blotting the fresh tears away.

"Maybe we should go somewhere more private, you didn't order yet, did you?" He watched her struggle to regain composure.

"No, no. This is fine. I'm fine," she insisted. The last thing she wanted to do was cause a scene, however she knew what would happen if they went somewhere more private—somewhere there was no cast-iron bistro table and societal constraints between them. She would let him take her in his arms, comfort her and maybe even kiss her. She wasn't strong enough for that. No, it had to be done like this, with the surrounding diners and furniture as insurance. "We need to break-up." There. She'd said what she needed to say with no theatrics. Good. But why did it feel so wrong?

"What?" He examined her, his brow scrunched down with worry. "Laney, what else is going on with you?"

"Nothing. I'm just in a weird place right now and I need to be alone to sort through everything. It has absolutely nothing to do with you," she added even though she swore she wouldn't use those words. Now it sounded like every break-up she'd ever read in a book or watched in a movie.

"We can get through this, together."

She sighed deeply. "I just really need to be alone right now," she reiterated. What happened to all of the eloquent words?

Shane's gaze was averted down to his hands as he twisted his fingers together absently. Finally, after a long pause he looked up making direct eye contact with her. He sighed. "Have you spoken with Fin?"

Beads of sweat began to prickle out of the pores surrounding her hairline. The sun was getting higher in the sky, however this heat was coming from within—from the guilt.

"I...I...haven't spoken to him since that day," she managed. "Can we please not go there?" She dropped her head into her hands. This was definitely not going according to script. "This isn't about Fin, it's about you and me."

"Somehow, I don't believe that," he said in a barely audible whisper.

"Shane, you deserve better."

"Don't say that."

"There is nothing else to say," she said.

"Is there anything I can say or do to change your mind?"

"No," she said, unable to meet his eyes. However, she knew that all she would need was some of his kindness and a comforting hug and she would fold. Especially now her wound from Fin had been torn open again.

"Can we still be friends, still talk?"

She sniffled. "I don't think that's such a good idea," she answered with a trembling voice. Why did doing the right thing hurt so much and feel so wrong? If she couldn't have Fin was it really so wrong to have a glimpse of happiness with Shane? Yes. She knew it was wrong. Not for her, but for him—he deserved so much more than she could offer. "I need to go." She jumped up from her seat looking for a quick getaway before she gave in.

"Let me walk you out." He followed her out before she had a chance to refute. He walked behind her until she reached her car, pausing there as if waiting for her to change her mind.

She could feel the jagged metal from the car keys digging into the flesh of her palm as she squeezed her hand tightly around them. She turned to face him, knowing immediately she was making a mistake, but unable to stop herself.

His fingertips moved gently toward her face, brushing away the damp hair that was sticking to her forehead. She was still and obedient as his fingers trailed down her face, coming to rest under her jawline. Slowly he tipped up her chin, his eyes searching hers, his expression unreadable. And for a moment he paused there, watching her, surely waiting for her to stop him. But she didn't. She let him cautiously press his lips to hers, softly caressing the tender skin with his own.

The kiss deepened as his fingers slid back around her head, lacing through her hair, pulling her closer and devouring her with his mouth and tongue. And she was pliant, unable to stop herself from giving in any longer; she allowed herself to be folded away in his arms and warmed by the flood of emotion.

It wasn't until she felt him pressing firmly against her abdomen that she remembered with a start the reason she couldn't falter. "I have to go," she breathed, lurching away from him.

"Wait, Delaney. Don't go...," she heard him calling after her as she folded herself into the car, shoving the key into the ignition.

"I have to. Goodbye, Shane," she called before promptly pulling the door shut. Looking straight ahead, she sat there with her trembling hands gripping the wheel before her. "You're doing the right thing," she said out loud to herself. "You're doing the right thing."

And without a backward glance she drove home.