Hierarchy

IX

July 2016

"Do you miss your family?" Bambi asks as I braid her hair. She said her Mom never braided her hair because she was always busy with work.

I don't know how you get that busy you can't braid your daughter's hair yet still end up with money problems

"Sometimes," I reply honestly, "I know I told them not to visit but sometimes I wish they went against my wishes and did it anyway."

she nods her head slightly then winces since she has such a sensitive scalp and I had pulled too hard making me apologise.

"Do you think the only reason my family haven't visited is because of the implications or because they're embarrassed and ashamed?"

I know how much she thinks of her family. They allowed her to bring in a photo of them since she's so young and I've heard her crying in the night whilst stroking the picture.

"They have nothing to be ashamed of. Everything you did, you did for them. They should be happy you even decided to help." I tell her, "You should never think they would think so badly of you. You're their only daughter. They will love you to the moon and back."

***

September 2018

"I heard she was at it again today." Caleb says to me as I sit down next to him at the top of the table. It always seems easy to drown everyone else out when I'm with him.

"It's about this hierarchy thing. Apparently, I'm above her?" I ask, "Is it that serious?"

Caleb shrugs his shoulders, "In the grand scheme of life, nothing in high school is serious. To these people, you just cost her her life."

I let out a little chuckle, "So you're not the one that put me there?"

He shook his head, "I don't decide who's in the hierarchy, the people choose. I got selected as a junior for literally doing nothing. You just have to go with the flow."

I nod my head in response. I could feel eyes on me and I didn't have to turn and look to know who it was, instead I just leaned into his ear, "Pretend I said something really funny."

He let out a little laugh and I raised my eyebrow at him, "That's your response to really funny?"

"It does the job." Was his reply and I move away from him to meet eyes with Kayla who was staring so intently at me, it gave me chills.

"So Jailbait." Paulette starts and I see Vivian roll her eyes at the nickname, "How exactly do you know Eddie?"

I thought this was squashed last night?

"If you're interested in my cousin, just tell him and don't pry into her life to get to know him, Paula." Vivian tells her

This was new to me. Vivian always seems really keen on getting information on everyone. Yet for the first time, she spares me.

"It's Paulette, Vivi. You know I hate nicknames." She retorts with a smile but you could tell it's not genuine

"I actually would like to know too," Kayla interjects

"Well if I did everything you wanted, Kayla, you'll probably be sitting where I'm sitting right now." I say with a little smile, "Oh no, that's right. This seat was empty because no one wanted you in it."

"Burn." Quinton laughed

"It was just a simple question, Gi." Kayla smiles, "No need to get so defensive."

"We're not friends, Kayla. Don't give me nicknames."

My phone rang and I looked down at it on the table. Private number. I know what that means.

"Aren't you going to answer?" Jude questions when he sees me hesitate

I picked up the phone and placed it near my ear.

"County Jail, call from prison mate number 5690." I waited a bit before her voice came through.

"Regina?"

"Bambi?" I shake my head, "Sorry, it's a habit, I should probably call you your real name now." I get up from the table and collect my bags. This conversation can't take place at this table.

"Can you speak?" She asks politely.

"For you, always, just hold on a moment." I look at Ethan, "I'm going to a friends house later today. Don't wait up."

"All your friends aren't very nice-"

"Don't wait up," I repeat, before he could say anything else, I walked away from the table.

"What did they do?" I ask when I'm far away enough that no one can hear me.

Bambi and I planned that when I leave, she'll call if she ever needs something since I still have connections from Finn.

Hence why I'm going to go see my friend that will help her out if she's in trouble in there.
She'll never call unless something happened

"Actually, everything here is okay."

Alright, maybe I stand corrected.

"Okay, as in bearable or okay as in actually okay?"

"Okay as in bearable. They haven't touched me since what happened." She informs me, "I'm calling actually, to see if you're okay. You haven't called me since you got out and you're the only family I have."

I felt like absolute shit. Bambi's in there all alone because she can't see her family and ever since I got to see mine, I've forgotten about her.

"I'm sorry." Was all I could say, "So much has gone on and it's not even an okay excuse because I said I'll always have your back and I haven't even called."

I could hear her smile on the phone, "It's okay. I expected it. Just try and call maybe once every two weeks if you can? I don't want to ask for much but hearing your voice really makes things better."

I didn't even realise the tear that dropped down my face until it fell on my shirt, "Talia, I'm sorry."

She laughs a little, "You know, that's the first time you've ever said my name but please, go back to Bambi. It's weird for me."

"Okay, I promise I'll call, Bambi." I say but something even better comes to mind, "You know what, I'll try and find your family and they can talk to you through my phone. That's not illegal right? It's not them contacting you, it's me. That should work, right?"

She took a deep sigh, she'd given up on her family a while ago. "I don't know, Gi. It'll be hard to track them down."

"Why?"

"Well for starters, We don't even have the same last name." She points out, "I'm Willibe and they're Men-"

There was a beeping sound and I know we had reached the time for our call. That didn't even feel like a long conversation.