Fated

Ch. 33 (Zain's POV)

'I don't want to see you'

'Things can never be the same Zain'

'You broke my trust Zain'

'You humiliated me, Zain'

'Mr. Zain...excuse me, Sir, she is ready' The receptionist called out my name bringing me back to reality. I had to see my counselor, I felt like I had nowhere to go, an awful empty feeling and Maya's hurtful eyes followed me everywhere I went. Every time she pulled back from me, I felt like I was losing her. She can't leave me, I won't let that happen.

'I'll walk you to her room' The receptionist got up from her chair and took me to the counseling room where Saira was waiting for me in a wheelchair. After talking to a handful of counselors and never being able to talk about my fears, I finally found a trustworthy counselor who talked to me like a person rather than a subject or an object.

'How are you?' She greeted me with a bright friendly smile and offered me a seat.

'I don't know' I answered her fearfully as I took a seat.

'What happened?' She offered me a glass of water and I started to speak slowly, informing her about the events that took place in the last few days.

'So you are afraid that she is not going to trust you again?' She said moments after I told her what happened. I nodded, looking at the ground. Feeling ashamed of myself of how far I took this lie, how I cheated her knowing that once she learns the truth she was never going to look at me the same way.

'It's okay for you to feel this way but you must also try to understand her and how she must be feeling in this situation...you said you are about to get married, she put her trust in you when she agreed to be with you and now when she learned the truth, she is as affected as you are if not more. I hope you understand that?' She looked at me carefully.

'I feel like I am burning, I can't watch her leave me...I cant' I said with a heaviness in my heart.

'If you want her to listen to you then respect her need for space, based on what you have told me it seems like she is in a very vulnerable situation and trust can't be rebuilt quickly, it takes time' She replied with concerning eyes, hoping that I'll understand. I did, I understood all of that but I wanted her close to me. I wanted to be with her to clear all the misunderstandings but she wasn't letting me in.

'What should I do?' I asked her for advice.

'You know I can't answer that, my role is to listen and provide guidance to you...but you make the last call. My advice would be to stay a bit patient and give her the time that she needs to recover, if you are constantly going to approach her, her mind is going to push her to make a fast decision which can lead to bigger issues and when we are upset, we end up saying wrong and hurtful things to the people we care about only so that we can settle the scores. Right?' She stared at me and I slightly nodded, taking a deep breath in.

'She won't leave me right?' My fears were bringing out negatives thoughts again in me. She didn't give me an answer.

'I have to go' I got up from my chair and left the office.

'You can't leave me Maya' I said to myself in the parking lot and took out my phone to call her only to find that it was switched off. I tried again and again but she didn't pick up.

'You are not going to leave me' I yelled and got into the car and drove to her house.

'Sorry for dropping in like that Uncle' I said to Malik uncle who seemed a bit surprised to see around this time in the morning.

'No it's fine, you're okay? You seem a bit startled' He observed my face.

'I think the weather change is making me sick' I answered him.

'Well come inside' He offered me.

'Is Maya home?' I asked him as I walked inside the front lawn.

'No she just left about an hour ago' He informed me and I stopped.

'Where?' I asked him.

'Sana is back in town with her husband I believe she went to see her' He mentioned.

'Okay...actually I forgot I have an important call to attend shortly, I'll drop by later' I turned around to leave but he stopped me.

'Are you sure nothing is the matter, Maya also seemed a bit worried this morning' He questioned me.

'Wedding jitters I suppose, nothing to worry about' I said in a very best encouraging tone as possible. He didn't respond to that but seemed somewhat satisfied with my answer.

'Have a good day uncle' I smiled at him and exited the house before he could ask me anything else. I decided to go back to the house and talk to Anum to find out if she talked to Maya.

'Anum' I spotted her in her room, she was gathering her things before heading to the office. I was glad she was becoming more confident in her abilities.

'Zain, where did you leave so suddenly?' She dropped her bag on the bed and walked over to me.

'I went to see my counselor' I replied.

'You can talk to me Zain' She said to me softly. She already had so much on her plate, the last I wanted was to burden her with my messed up thoughts and worries.

'Maya is not talking to me, she said she doesn't want me' I declared with each word leaving me with a hurtful feeling, my heart was aching for her. I placed a hand over my heart as I found it difficult to breathe.

'Sit down' She rushed to help me to sit on her bed.

'Hey...look at me...breathe...calm down...breathe' Anum sat down in front of me and held my hands.

'I am fine, I just couldn't breathe for a moment' I said in between taking deep breaths.

'Let's go to the doctor' She hurried as she got up to take me to the doctor.

'I am fine...I am fine...sorry if I scared you' I examined her concerned face.

'It's okay if you're fine then nothing else matters' She sat back in front of me, watching me as my uneven breathing started calming down.

'I need to see her' I looked at Anum.

'You will, I will talk to her, it's going to be fine Zain I promise' She gently patted my hands.

'She said she doesn't want me...she said nothing is going to be the same...my mind can't grasp that, I can't accept that' I confessed to her.

'I will call her' Anum grabbed her phone and called her but her phone was still switched off. I hit my head and got up to leave.

'Where are you going?' Anum grasped my arm to prevent me from leaving.

'I am going to see Maya, there is no other way' I pulled my hand from her but she walked around to stand in my way.

'Zain give her some time, she will come back soon and then you can talk to her' She tried to persuade me to stay.

'I can't, this feeling...my heart is burning Anum...I want to put an end to this. I want to be relieved...I love her and I will ask her to forgive me ...I will clear all the confusion and bring her with me' I told her.

'You're not going to stop this until you get your way are you?' She let go of my hand once she realized I was not going to stop fighting for her. 

'I won't let our story end this way' I claimed and marched outside the room to find Maya. I was sure of her heart, I knew she was in pain and wanted me to suffer the way she was feeling but I wasn't going to let anything break us apart, I was going to fix the mess I caused, I was going to bring her back with me, I was going to earn her trust again no matter what.

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