Not the Villain - The Evil Queen's Retelling of Snow White

23 Years, Eight Months and 17 Days Ago

23 years, eight months and 17 days ago:

I couldn't make sense of where I was when I woke up. I looked around. I was in a small, dark room, on a small cot, a threadbare blanket draped unceremoniously over me. Then all the memories came rushing back, leaving me panting and feeling a bit sick. I closed my eyes, trying to expel the horrible empty feeling that was tearing at my insides.

"Ah, so our damsel in distress has woken up."

I jumped at the raspy voice right next to me. The person struck a match, and a candle was lit. I couldn't help but recoil at the sight of an old hag in a hooded shawl illuminated by candlelight. Wrinkles and lines marred her entire face. Her pale, sickly-green skin was dotted with warts, some with hairs attached to the end. One of her eyes was unstaring and milky white, and the other was a light grey-blue lacking in colour, and it bore into mine.

"Cat got your tongue? Funny, you were really talkative in your sleep."

"I-I--"

She sighed. "The only one who can stand the sight of me anymore is Onyx." She gestured at something in one of the dark corners of the room. I squinted, wondering if she was pointing at anything at all or if she was truly crazy. I realised it was a black cat when it opened its luminescent green eyes and meowed, as if in greeting.

"S-sorry, you just surprised me, that's all." I blabbered apologetically, trying not to stare at the blemishes on her face.

"It's okay, I don't really care anymore." She gave me a grin that showed three crooked, yellow teeth. "You get used to it after a while. Besides, it's rather fun to scare people." Once I got over the shock, she didn't seem so bad after all. I decided that I liked her.

"Where am I?" I asked.

"This is where you can stay until you get better. You are free to leave, of course, though I do not recommend it. Your fever has just broken." She gestured to the dark room. "Welcome to my humble abode." I looked around, entranced by the books piled up in every corner, the vials of liquid sitting delicately on the shelves, and the delicate vines, herbs and flowers tumbling out of their containers. It was unlike any home I had been in before. It did not flaunt any wealth, the furnitures bore no exquisite carvings, the cloth were not made of cotton and silk but wool, yet it spoke distinctly of comfort and luxury in its own, plain way.

I blinked, retreating from my daze, and suddenly remembered my manners. "Sorry, I haven't introduced myself yet. M-my name is Amethyst, and I am from the palace. It is a pleasure to meet you."

She nodded. "My name is... Veneficia, I remember. Not many use it anymore. Everyone just calls me Hag or Witch now."

I gasped. "That is terrible. What is the purpose of a name if not to be used?"

"Although, what does it matter, anyway? A name is nothing more than a word, a title to label a person. It is the person that gives the name a meaning. 'Witch' and 'hag' fit me the same way my name does. Do not worry your pretty head about it, darling. I do not mind."

"How could they possibly do that?" I shook my head. "The title is unjust. You have treated me with nothing but pure kindness."

"And why is that? I do not mind being called a witch, for I am one--" Here I inhaled audibly and couldn't help but shift my body away from the old woman--the witch. My skin crawled as her sole healthy eye grew hard and glared at me.

"Is it a bad thing to be a witch? Is that what you suppose, Amethyst? My conscience is clear. I have done nothing wrong, in fact I have used my magic to guide young souls such as you. Your heart was broken when I found you. If I had not, you would probably have died. I stitched your heart and soul back together. So what if I used magic? Does being a witch make me evil?"

"No-- that's not--"

I bit my lip, my mind immediately jumping to Evelyn. How could a witch not be evil? It's unnatural to be dabbling in magic. Magic is weird. Magic is not to be trusted.

And yet what if magic could be used for good? What if magic does not automatically make someone evil?

What if I was wrong?

At last I slumped my shoulders in defeat. "I-- I don't know. I don't know, okay?"

"No matter. We all make mistakes. None of us are perfect after all. It is the redemption that defines us. Or rather, our choice to redeem ourselves." She nodded, a little distractedly. "Anyway, why were you kicked out?"

I blinked, still my mind still reeling at her sage words. "How did you know I was kicked out?""Well, you were passed out in the rain. It was kind of obvious. Tell me. I can tell some of the things you did, but we all love a good story, don't we?"

I pursed my lips. I didn't want to relive any of those memories. Not now, when the agony was still so fresh and raw.

"Ah, it's alright then. Maybe a story for another time."

I lowered my head, suddenly ashamed for some reason. I wrapped my arms around myself, as if that would shut out the emptiness in my heart. I hated him. I hated myself. I hated feeling this way, hurting so profoundly and so deeply that it almost seemed like it would be easier to stop living. Maybe it would be easier if my heart stopped beating. It felt so cracked and shattered and tired, so tired.

"Veneficia... will it get any easier?" I blurted.

"Oh, darling. Of course it will. Everything eventually gets better." She took my hands into her own gnarled, wrinkled ones. "Time fixes everything. Even a heart."

"But-"

"Hey, you have talent. I know you're going to get through it. Can I ask you a question, child?" I nodded in response.

"What is it that you want the most? What are the desires lurking in the deepest chambers of your heart?"

"I..." What did I want? I searched through my head. I wanted my mother back, that's for sure, and Emerald and Ronnie, but that's impossible. I wanted Casimir to love me again. Was that what I wanted the most? Love? Then I knew the answer. "I want to forget."

She cocked her head. "I see. Well, I won't give you that. No, I have another offer. I can give you something else. Something better." She grinned.

"Power."