Not the Villain - The Evil Queen's Retelling of Snow White

An Hour and 30 Minutes Ago

An hour and 30 minutes ago:

Today is our anniversary. The thought popped unbidden into my mind as I climbed off the mare. 

Our wedding anniversary.

His death anniversary. 

An hours ago:

The sky was completely dark by now. As I neared the wooden hut I murmured a spell and threw some powder Veneficia prepared over myself. My bones popped and cracked in response, my skin shrivelled, my hair whitened. I let out a scream as my back bent forward and hunched, and I dropped onto my hands. I hobbled forward, wobbly on my creaking knees. I knew that I now looked like a hideous old lady. 

Forty minutes ago:

I shuffled forward, approaching the hut. Every step made my heart beat a little faster. Every step brought me closer to my daughter. Every step brought me closer to what I have to do.

Don't think about that.

Focus on putting one foot in front of the other.

Don't stop.

Don't slow down.

Don't stop.

I'm coming, my daughter.

Thirty five minutes ago:

I raised my hand to the door. For a fleeting moment I stopped, wanting nothing but to runaway, escape this whole mess, forget about everything. But the moment was over before I could blink.

Because my daughter needs me to do this.

I need me to do this.

So I rap on the wood with my knuckles.

"I don't want to buy anything!" Snow White's scared voice called from inside.

"I'm not trying to sell anything," I rasped. "I just need to talk. Please, Nixiann. There's something you need to see. I only want to help."

I could almost sense her hesitating inside the shack. "How do you know my name?"

"Darling, I know that and much more. You never knew your biological mother. Sometimes you do things that you don't remember or understand. You lost someone you love on this day a year ago. He was betrayed by someone you both loved..." My throat hurt to speak about this, but I clenched my fists and continued. "The same person who tried to kill you twice already. But that's not the whole story, Nixiann. You deserve to know the whole story."

The door squeaked open. "What do you know?" She peeked out with one eye. Seeing a harmless old lady, she pushed open the door a little more. 

"What do I have." I corrected. Slowly, I take out the perfect, scarlet apple and cup my hand into hers, curling her fingers around its round cheeks.

One bite is all it takes.

"One bite is all it takes."

"For what?"

I blew out a breath, and gazed into her solemn, emerald eyes which looked back into my own. "Anything your heart desires."

"An answer." She stated without hesitating.

My throat is completely dry now as I nod towards the apple, my heart beating erratically, my breathing uneven. This is it. As soon as she takes a bite, I can say the spell. And it'll be over, no matter what happens. 

I felt fear cloud my mind like ice, so much that it almost hurt, watching her raise the apple to her mouth. I didn't know what would happen, and I think that is the most terrifying part, not knowing. Would it hurt? Would I remember what happened in this life? Would I become someone, something else entirely? Would it be like falling asleep after a long day... or waking up after a long dream?

The apple neared her lips, which were an identical shade of blood-red. I didn't look away, I couldn't, I was completely entranced by what was about to happen.

But just as it was about to touch, she froze. The apple slipped out of her hand, and I barely caught it. 

And she changed. It wasn't anything I could describe, because on the outside, she wasn't any different than she was a few seconds ago. The same snowy skin. The same ebony hair. The same scarlet lips. The same emerald eyes. 

But somehow I knew that she wasn't my Snow White anymore. Like she was now made of ice and frost and stone instead of love and hope and dreams. Like she was no longer human but something else entirely, something dark and dangerous. And I wondered whether she would answer at all if I called her name, or if that baby I once held in my arms, that baby who stole my heart, if that baby was lost forever.

I was too late.