Not the Villain - The Evil Queen's Retelling of Snow White

30 Seconds Ago

30 seconds ago:

I lost my footing on the rain-slicked cliff.

Suddenly there was no ground behind me. I was falling.

I was scared before.

I'm still scared now.

But it doesn't matter. We're all scared, scared of what would happen. But don't let that fear stop you from doing what you have to do, what you need to do, what you want to do.

I whispered the well-rehearsed spell that would transfer my life to Snow White. 

22 seconds ago:

Wind soared past me as the seconds passed by and my life trickled out of me with each, gone, given away. 

20 seconds ago:

The last words the demon said to me echoed in my ears. 

You are the villain.

No, I am not the villain.

I remembered how I forgave Casimir for abandoning me.

I remembered how I aided the rebellion against Casimir. 

I am not the villain.

I remembered how I could've saved Evelyn that night, the night Snow White was born.

I remembered how I risked it all to raise Snow White.

I am not the villain.

I remembered how I avenged my mother's death.

I remembered how I killed Casimir.

I remembered how I am sacrificing my life for Snow White.

Am I the villain?

14 seconds ago:

Maybe that's not the right question.

Maybe there isn't a villain.

Maybe we all are villains.

Maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe a story isn't just about the good or bad, the right or wrong. Maybe what really matters is everything in between. Not the blacks and whites but the yellows and blues and greens and reds.

And I saw these in my mind, the yellow of a flower that a mother put behind a daughter's ear, the blue of the sky under which two lovers picnicked, the green of a set of beautiful eyes, the red of an apple that could save a life.

And beyond these I saw a break in the dark clouds, I saw the glitter of a thousand stars in the midst of terrible. There they hung in the sky, twinkling, more powerful than any magic that anyone could control. 

Among the stars I saw them.

I saw Casimir, forgiving.

I saw Ronnie, smiling.

I saw Emerald, loving.

I saw my Mother, waiting. Waiting for me to be there with her again, for me to fall into her arms once more after thirty years of waiting.

8 seconds ago:

My last wish: Please let Snow White live.

Five seconds ago:

I wasn't scared anymore. People fear what they don't understand. But why? Why is there this urge to know, to predict what will happen? I have nothing to fear. I don't need to know what will happen. I only have to know that I want this. There's nothing to regret.

Four seconds ago:

Time, there's not enough time. There's not enough time to say what really matters to the people who really matter. There's never enough time, there's never enough time for a moment to last forever.

But that's part of what makes a moment beautiful.

A moment is fleeting.

A moment is eternal. 

A moment lives forever in your heart.

A moment is all you need.

Three seconds ago:

I thought I wanted to forget. All this time I've been trying to forget, so much that I forgot to remember. Don't ever forget. Remember. Remember, because sometimes you forget why you should remember. You forget that memories are priceless treasures that are lost once forgotten. Remember everything you can, every action, every word, because maybe one day memories will be all you have left.

Two seconds ago:

Stop caring. Stop hurting. It seemed like it would get rid of my problems. But it wasn't a solution, it was just a bottle to cram your emotions in, a fragile bottle that erodes, that breaks. 

Hurting is part of feeling. 

Caring is part of healing. 

Care. Hurt. It's part of being human.

One second ago:

If only I hadn't wasted my time seeking a happily ever after. I had been searching for something that was never there, trapped by chains that don't bind me, encircled by a maze without walls. 

Because there aren't any happily ever afters.

Life is about the ups and downs, not just the happy moments but all the other moments, too. Fear, sorrow, anger, joy... they're all one and the same. You can't choose to have one without the others.

Forgive. Move on.

But remember everything that brought you there.

Remember to hurt and cry when you need to.

Remember the past, but don't obsess over it. Keep the memories in your heart but keep your eyes facing forward. Because it's okay to move on. Sometimes, when you lose sight of the past and the present and the future, just move on.

And now it's time to move on.

Now:

I let out a contented sigh, and the world faded to black.