Smitten With Him [Editing]

18. The Music Room

A/N: Thank you for your paitence, I put an asterisk (*) where the teaser chapter had been left off.

Oh and this chapter is REALLY long so I hope you don't get bored too quickly. ;)

Flynn Hopper to the side yo! (from the first chapter) - Played by Francisco Lachowski
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I was in love with Jace.

I was fucking head over heels in love with my dorky best friend.

I was smitten with a dude that I've only just met three months ago.

In love.

Jace.

The word love, what does it mean exactly? Does it usually feel like you want to vomit whenever you see or think about your lover? Does it always feel like my insides are twisting and just about to explode all over the place? Is this normal?

Love.

It's just one of those words that people don't take seriously. It's powerful, let me tell you that. Right now, it feels like I'm in a life or death situation. Love is such a funny play on words, it can either make you or break you.

If someone told you they loved you, would you take them seriously? Especially at my age, Jesus fucking Christ. If someone told they loved me, I wouldn't think of it in such a powerful way, I'd reply back the same thing because I would usually mean it in a friendly way, heck, I love my friends and family more than anything in the world.

But this love was different.

This love was not the same love I felt for my best friends or my mum.

It wasn't the same love I felt for the dog I had when I was little.

It wasn't the same love I felt for my ex's either- me saying 'I love you' was just bullcrap, basically.

This kind of love I felt for Jace was a kind of love I can't even comprehend.

Does the word love just sound weird to you now? Love. Love. Love. No?

The feelings I felt for Jace was far beyond what I've felt for anyone, ever. It felt like I was just intoxicated in Jace. Yeah, that sounds more like it.

It felt as if Jace was my everything, as silly as that may sound.

But at this moment, he is my everything.

I can't be 101% sure of my feelings though, I don't even think that the two of us would work out anyway, we're polar opposites.

Is it just me or did saying that make you feel like your heart was breaking into two? Does love hurt this much? I don't think I can handle it.

Whatever it was, it was definitely not something I wanted to feel again, never.

Albeit, that is a good point. Jace and I are opposites and let's face it, it is unlikely to happen. While he's off learning how to hack into the school system with that highly intelligent brain of his, I'd probably be off drinking some booze that I find lying around the house or in Liam's room - I know where his stash is.

We are opposites and I'm really starting to hate that word.

Opposites.

Opposites.

Its inevitable that Jace and I just won't work together.

Imagine the hate too:

"Hey look, Liam's brother is gay. That's so disgusting."

"He's going to hell."

Then again, our school was generally open minded, especially the older children given the fact that they've matured.