The First She ✓

FIFTY FIVE

"Shit. I probably look like a mess."

She wiped her tears with the back of her hands but knew that distress still used her face as a book. Once Vrox saw her red eyes, he would immediately read the tragedy within them.

Looking around, she found the makeshift refrigerator by the entrance. She freed her hair from its braid to make sure it was covering her face before reaching for the fridge and dislodging a small shard of ice.

"Do you need me to carry it inside?" Vrox called out from where he sat.

"Nope. I want to leave it here!"

Vrox didn't answer, but she was sure that his observant eyes were rambling a storm.

She hid in the cave and pulled the ice to her eyelids. The bitter chill stung, but she knew that it was worth it. If she didn't tame the redness, Vrox would go out of his mind. The man was already over-protective as it was. She didn't want to find out what happened when he amped up.

Vee hopped around her, curiosity driving him wild.

"You want some of this?" she chuckled, bending down to rub some ice on his fur.

He shuddered and hopped into a corner, leaving her behind with a belly full of laughter.

"Sorry. I couldn't help it."

She sat on the ground, extending a welcoming hand for the alien bunny. After much hesitation, Vee scurried out and accepted her offer.

She spent an hour or two just sitting there, skimming her hands through Vee's heavenly tuff of fur and fighting tears for her composure. She wanted to keep this fear to herself, so Vrox would have some time to court hope.

With her back pressed against the wall and her furry friend on her lap, she dreamt that her belly was swollen with Ezron's most wanted burden.

"Kira."

She opened her eyes and located the man responsible for her rebirth. He taught her the things her Ph.D. couldn't– compassion, forgiveness, and trust.

"You were smiling in your sleep," he grinned. "Were you having a sweet dream?"

No. She had a nightmare. The darkness had given her everything she wanted, only to allow the light of reality to snatch it away. She felt used, teased, and emptier than ever.

"Yeah," she agreed, needing to lie to the sweet giant.

She accepted Vrox's hand and allowed him to help her up. With a fleeting yawn, she looked around for Vee.

"Vee?"

"I think I saw Kyros cooking a pufil," Vrox joked.

"Vrox!" she reprimanded.

He laughed, and the deep, endless rumble filled some of the void.

– • –

That evening, she worked on throwing together some accessories for Nebula. She had already prepared a whole wardrobe. The only things missing were sandals. She wished she had more jobs to do. Cooking a meal for the guys wasn't an option because the idea of burnt meat made them scowl every time. They swore to her that uncooked meat was savourous, but she wasn't too interested in salmonella.

"Draekon, what time are you leaving?"

The youngest of the men looked up at Rokan. "When the sun rises," he answered.

"So soon?"

"Yes. I am already tired of you all."

The group laughed.

"Even me, Draekon?" Kira perked.

He shook his head. "Ah, nice try, Terran. I refuse to answer this question and risk getting decapitated by Vrox."

Another round of laugher was due.

"Decapitation?" Vrox mused. "No, that does not sound like me. I would likely poison you and sit back as your skin rotted off your still breathing body."

"That is cold, Vrox. Cold."

The rest of the night was spent entertaining harmless banter. Vee refused to hop off her lap. The little guy could sense that something was off, seeing right through her forced laughter.

"Let us go before you laugh our child out of you," Vrox chuckled.

The void in her heart expanded, and her womb shrunk. She smiled to hide how his enthusiasm preyed on her peace.

She bid the guys good night and followed Vrox indoors. After following her ritual to prepare for bed, she let Vrox lift her onto the furs.

"You should get me a ladder."

Vrox smiled. "I think that it is endearing that you need me to lift you to bed."

"Could you get Vee up here, too, please?"

Vrox's face crumbled with disbelief. "You want me to share my furs with Vee?"

She shrugged. "Well, you share them with me, so..."

"But you are my female! Not a rodent!"

She pouted, tugging on his arm and skimming her nails up his scaled forearm. "Please?"

Biting a curse, Vrox bent down to retrieve Vee. Instantly, the little guy hopped away from the deadly Ezronian and toward his much harmless Terran.

Vrox's look was sharper than the weapons on the wall.

"He's not competition, you know," she reminded him as she combed Vee's coat. When Vee furrowed against her stomach in search of her ministrations, Vrox shot her a challenging look.

"He can't replace you, Vrox. He doesn't have the equipment needed to satisfy me."

"Remind me of this equipment I possess," Vrox mumbled, ready to have some compliments rubbed onto his ego.

"Hmm, let's see... two great arms."

Vrox nodded, urging her to continue.

"Nice legs too."

Another nod.

"And a great, big, fat..."

Vrox's smile widened with every adjective.

"Insecurity."

His face fell.

She laughed at the sound of his grumbles. After lying down, she welcomed Vee against her chest.

Vrox stood up to exhaust the torch that illuminated the room before returning to the bed and collecting her– Vee and all, in his arms.

"Goodnight."

His reply was a lingering kiss to her free hair that said more than syllables ever could.

– • –

They were there to see Draekon off in the morning. He promised to return next time with Nebula, and Kira cheered him off as he slung a broadsword over a bare shoulder and made his way past the gates.

She was giving Vee a shower when she heard a commotion by the gate. Vrox appeared by her side instantly, throwing a cloak over her.

"Draekon? I thought you had left?" Kyros spoke as he worked to close the gate.

"Get the others," Draekon ordered with animosity. "A group of men is coming this way."

Kira was barely able to pull Vee out of the water before Vrox claimed her weight and dashed indoors.