SSA Roberts (a criminal minds fic)

broken trust

a/n be prepared to cry. Okay love you see you at the end!!!

When the team got back I asked Reid if I could visit and he never texted me back so of course like any worried girlfriend would do, I took a surprise visit to Reid's apartment.

I don't know why but driving there felt bad, almost like I shouldn't but I ignored it.

Walking up the stairs gave me a weird feeling in my stomach. Once again, I ignored it.

When I got to his door I used the key he gave me.

My eyes didn't focus immediately. But when they did, i wished they never did.

Reid was on the couch with Mia. Mia Rios, the girl who took my spot on the case. Apparently she took my spot in my relationship too.

They were drinking when she leaned over to kiss him, Spencer turned to the door to see me. I looked at both of them to nod and say "Don't say you love me if you're gonna turn around and do this bullshit" I threw the key at him and left. I was running through the building, tears were forming but I didn't let them drop.

I heard him. I heard Reid call after me. I didn't stop. Why would I? He clearly couldn't give a shit about me.

I got to my car and locked it and drove. I don't know where I was going but I drove. I found myself at Prentiss's apartment. I was a mess of mascara by the time I got to her door.

"Oh my god what happened" She said as she hugged me and brought me inside

"I don't think I can stay in the BAU"

"What why"

"It- it wa- Spencer"

"What with who"

"Mia the girl who took my spot on the case"

"Oh fuck no"

I bawled my eyes out. He was the only guy I felt like I was supposed to be with. Guess he didn't feel the same.

My phone was blowing up. Calls and message notifications filled my screen. All from the same guy. The same stupid guy.

Penelope came over and they comforted me.

"He said he loved me"

"I know I know"

"Mia was fishy from the start"

"Did anything happen on the case?" I asked

"No I stayed in a room with her" Prentiss said

"She was on the mission half the time" she added

"Guess she's a better agent than me"

"Why the hell would you say that"

"Because emily she didn't end up with the trauma of dying and apparently she's really good at stealing people you love"

"You know that only made you stronger. Look at you! You're fucking director of the FBI. You're beautiful mads. If Spencer can't see that then his IQ and his PHD's mean nothing"

"You think I'm overreacting"

"Not in the slightest. You saw what you saw"

"Yeah"

I had my doubts, I mean Spencer cheating was never on the list of things you'd expect him to do but I saw that. I saw the one thing I hoped to never see.

-------------------------------------------- next day

Reid would still call me. Prentiss told him I was at her apartment so I could go back home and not worry about it. Turns out it didn't matter. When I got to my apartment and settled inside there was a knock at my door.

I looked in the peep hole to see him. I held my hand on the knob. I didn't open it. Instead I sank to floor with my back against the door. I cried some more. I cried until I was out of tears and I don't think Spencer ever left.

I went to my couch and sat, thinking what I couldn't do that Mia could. She seemed like me, just not me.

I kept staring at the door until I saw a small piece of paper come through the crack.

I grabbed it and read "Please we need to talk"

I threw it away.

I went to sleep.

Knowing I had to possibly see him at work.

---------------------------------------------

Walking into the BAU was strange. I made eyecontact with him. He stared at the paper in my hands. I was leaving. I would stay as director but I was leaving the BAU. When I got to hotch's office he knew. He knew what I was doing.

"Close the door" He instructed and he shut the blinds "Are you sure"

"Yeah I am" I said tearing up. This hurt worse than actually seeing it.

"I'm not gonna file this for a month. Until then you do not have to travel with us but I expect help still"

I was fine with that "Yes sir"

"I'm sorry"

"Thank you"

I left the office and down the stairs when Derek made eye contact with me. He saw the tear drop.

"Madeline wait" Reid said

I didn't wait. It hurt but I knew I couldn't.

When I was back in my office someone buzzed in. God I hope its not Reid. Nope Rossi.

"I saw your request"

"Yeah"

"Madeline don't let him stop your work"

"Rossi I-" I let out a sigh and returned to my work "Garcia and Prentiss know what happened. I think because I'm director it would make more sense for me to leave"

"Madeline"

"Rossi please" I continued "Let me go"

-Spencer's Pov-

I can't believe Mia destroyed my relationship. She asked to borrow a book. Then she grabbed the wine after I told her to leave several times. Then she forced me on the couch, she must've known Madeline was in the door because thats when she went in.

Now Madeline thinks I cheated.

Rossi came up to me

"If you don't get our best SSA back because you cheated I won't forgive you Reid"

Prentiss and Garcia couldn't even look at me. Hotch kept it professional. Derek was mad but he knew what happened.

"How could you let that bitch do that? Now you lost the best thing that happened to you"

"She won't talk to me I tried. I don't know how I'm gonna get her back or even say a word to her"

I fucked up. I loved her too much just let this happen.

-Madeline-

I couldn't go 5 minutes without thinking about that damn Mia Rios. So I had my best technical analyst do some research.

She was from Texas. Got a BA in Criminology. Lives in DC. Mother was a prostitute. Dad left.

I mean she had it tough but...

I could never forget about this.

It hurt more than my last relationships.

I actually loved Spencer. Like a lot.  

a/n well im sorry

i love u tho 

blm: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/