A Fresh Start

Chapter 14-New Years Day 2013

TK

I stretch awake. Last night seems like a dream. I'm afraid to open my eyes cause then I'll be back in my old room. I'll be back with my Dad, and I'll be scared and alone.

I hear a quiet snore from the family room, and I open my eyes. It wasn't a dream. that's Ryan's snore.

I heard it the first time he slept over, and it was adorable.

I can hear Eric and Conner upstairs fighting about something. Based on the footfalls, they're right above me. I groan out, thinking about my brothers being annoying.

I also think about my real siblings. Seth and I follow each other on Instagram now, so I see his life and my nephew off in Montana. According to her Facebook, Haley is living her life in Pennsylvania. she and I message from time to time, but never anything real. James is MIA. No one knows where he is currently, but I hope he's ok.

I miss my siblings. Even if we weren't close, we all suffered together; it would be nice to commiserate. But I won't force myself on them.

I walk out and see Ryan stretched out with his feet hanging off the pull-out couch. He's shirtless, and his arms look great. I really enjoyed having him hold me last night as we kissed. For once, I felt like it was really ok to be gay like I could actually be happy. He sleeps with his mouth open which is not what I was expecting for some reason.

He is 6 feet 4 inches of pure football and hockey muscle, and as of last night, he's my.....boyfriend? Maybe. Probably too soon, but I don't wanna ask and be wrong.

I head upstairs and see Dan and Mandy making pancakes; this is a tradition whenever they're off with us, and secretly I love pancakes, so I'm ok with it.

"Blueberries in this pile and chocolate in this one. Is Ryan up?" Asks Dan. I shake my head, "go get him up. You and I have hockey practice today. You ready for tryouts?"

I nod, "ready as I can be. I'll go get him."

I walk down the stairs quietly because I don't want to startle him.

I nudge him, but he starts awake anyways, and he looks around and sees me and smiles.

"Hey, Handsome. Good morning," he says and takes my hand.

"Hi. Ummmm, they made pancakes. Come get some," I say, and I pull him a bit.

"Ok," he moans as he stretches but still holding my hand. "Give me a kiss, please." He whispers and pulls me down.

I smile and lean down, and kiss him. I plan for a quick kiss, but he pulls me in for a deep kiss.

"I'm glad that last night happened. I hope I didn't scare you," he says as he finally sits up.

"A little. Just cause I'm scared of people leaving me or hurting me, but that's because I lack trust. It's something I'm working on. That's what my therapist said a few weeks ago," I say, and I push my glasses back up my nose.

"My mom would concur. She wants to meet you so bad," he says as he pulls his shirt on. "Come on, PANCAKES."

The rest of the morning is pure magic. Ryan's the best part of it. Eric and Conner treat him like me, like another brother, and he treats them like the baby brothers he probably always wanted.

We power through the pancakes, good laughs, and fun times. One more episode of 30 rock that we spent kissing and missed most of the jokes. Around 12, Ryan says his goodbyes but makes sure I get a kiss before he left. I pile into the car with Mandy, Dan, and the boys as we head to the ice rink.

Once we get there, Dan and I run through all the hockey rules, and we do some practice runs on shooting, passing, and scoring. After an hour or so of work, he looks thrilled.