A Fresh Start

Chapter 22-Summer 2013

TK

At the end of the summer, my therapist Dr. Emily Corday asked me to sum up what I did to make it unforgettable. So I can look back at what a year can do for me.

She said, "last year, you almost died. Now you have a new family and a boyfriend. Life's better right? I want you to make a list of everything you're grateful for that you have gained in the last three months."

"Why just the summer?" I asked.

"As we get closer to the anniversary of the attack, you're going to focus on it more and more, and I want you to have recent memories to hold on to," she explained.

"Next question. Will you read this?" I asked.

She smiled and shook her head, "this is for future TK only."

I nodded and started to write down my list.

May 28th, 2013.

The day Ryan and I broke in his new car. With Josh heading off to Notre Dame in August to play soccer, Mr. Harris took his second-oldest son out for the day to buy a new car for him. The choice was between a Dodge Neon or an SUV; Ryan had his own reasons for wanting the bigger car and pushed for it. Once he showed his dad how small the neon was, he was convinced.

It's a 2011 Nissan X-Terra, a good size for a teen driver, it'll be good in the snow, and it will be useful for years to come. His dad wants to redo the backyard on the weekends with Ryan's mom.

Ryan wanted the SVU so we could have room finally. Room to cuddle. Room to kiss. Room to have sex. I don't mind being the receiver in our exchange; it's still my preference even after a summer of fun. Ryan wanted the option. He wanted it to be a fair balance. An equitable exchange of goods received. Honestly, the first night we didn't even have sex. We just laid in the back with the seats down and pillows. We drove up out to an open space by town and just watched the stars come out one by one through the sunroof as we kissed and talked about our future. He wants to play hockey, but he's probably going to get a football scholarship. He's going to pick the best school that will take him. He wants to be a doctor, not like his mom. He wants to be a pediatrician, and he'll be an amazing one. He dreams of going to Michigan to be a Wolverine. They have a great program and a great Med school; I can't wait to support him.

That's the first real great day of the summer—just him and I dreaming of the future and holding hands.

June 13th, 2013

The greatest date Ryan could ever come up with, and I still don't know how he pulled it off.

On the last day of school, he told me that he got tickets to the Taylor Swift concert when she came to Denver this summer.

I almost died. The songs of Red had been playing in my ears over and over for MONTHs. I thought he hated it, but not enough to keep me from going.

The seats were OK. It's a stadium show, so I would never be able to hug her, but she was there, and I was there, and we had a connection. I would have left Ryan right then if she gave me a shot.

We drove to Denver early that morning. He told me in front of Dad that it was to avoid the traffic, and I believed him, Like an IDIOT. It wasn't until we pulled up in front of the Denver Zoo that I realized something was off.

I'm smart, but I am weirdly oblivious when it comes to some stuff.

He thought I had figured it out when I said, "oh hey. The zoo's this way." Not realizing that I was literally just reading the sign. Excited cause it had a giraffe on it.

I gave him a questioning look when we pulled up, and he reminded me of our conversation on New Year's Eve about our perfect date ideas. Mine was the zoo, and his was the penny arcades. We did his a couple weekends after that first kiss, but mine was really cold, so it was pushed and pushed and pushed. Until one day, I actually forgot.