Isolation (BTS x reader)

33| The Moon

Y/n POV

The car ride back was different than the ride to the city, this time we couldn't stop laughing and Taehyung actually looked like he wanted to be there. "I feel like you have a stupid favorite color," I joke, on the topic of random shit that added flavor to the conversation.

"Stupid? Anything is better than the dumb color you like," He says back, his boxy smile showing through, "Please, vermillion is fucking cool."

"Even the name is stupid, why can't you just say a normal color. What even is vermelon?" A playful hint in his voice.

"Vermillion, and it's like a type of orange."

"Then just say that," he glance at me, taking one hand off the steering wheel, "no need to make it so complicated."

I wholeheartedly agree, but the way he argues with me is fun seeing how worked up he can get from something so simple.

"Hey, you're averting the conversation from your favorite color." I point out and he shakes his head, "I was just saying that you're weird."

"Okay, well tell me your favorite color and make fun of you, Tae." I say crossing my arms, leaning into the back of the seat comfortably.

"Purple." He says sheepishly, almost too quiet to hear, but I just catch it.

"Really? I didn't get you for a purple kinda guy."

"Just make fun of me already." He says, his voice getting impatient.

"I would, but I don't know how. Purple is pretty, I actually really like it." I say and a small smile pinches his face slightly.

"Do you want me to drive you back to your place, or do you wanna hang out at the office." He asks, clearly wanting me to pick the second option.

"I think I've spent enough time with you guys this week, I don't wanna annoy you guys by spending every day with you." I explain and he looks over to me confused.

"Isn't that like the whole point of being friends? Like we're supposed to hang out til we get sick of you and permanently avoiding you." His eyes focus on the curvy street ahead.

"I don't want that to happen." I say lowly, regretting it immediately from Taehyung's reaction, "Awe, so you do like us?"

I turn my body to the window on my side, rolling my eyes, "Well, I'm here aren't I?"

"Can you suck my dick then?" He asks and I scoff, "Shut up." I hold back my laughter as he lets his out. He was like a model, so pretty to look at with the sharp features that he was clearly blessed with. I envied the beauty that each of these boys held, their own individuality.

"How lucky were you from puberty?" I ask, mostly a joke.

"It's the trauma." He says smiling.

"How did you get lucky to be that hot?" He asks back and I laugh, letting out a snort.

"It's the trauma." I repeat and his smile grows.

"So you wanna go home?" He asks after a few peaceful silent moments.

"I should go to bed, I think." I say and he turns down a sharp road.

"Why? It's not like you have a job to rest for." He teasing and I resist the urge to nudge him while he's driving since it would probably kill me and I wouldn't be able to get my much needed rest. Well, a rest that I will wake up from.

"You're right, but there's only so much energy that I have and boy do you drain me." I say, but he frowns, "I do?"

"Kim Taehyung, I never realized you were such a drama queen." I say laughing at his frown.

"I'm not, you are." His eyebrows furrow in thought, "Besides you're the one who needs her beauty sleep."

Instead of answering I look out the window, we pass billboards with a happy couple and I can't help imagine what that must feel like. Everyone I've been surrounded myself with has never been like that, my parents clearly weren't, Jennie only had hookups to avoid that attachment, my brother only had a tight relationship with drugs. I wanted to be able to have that trust and commitment, but the isolation has gotten so great. My mom is gone, Jennie isn't here, my brother is in the military until he comes out and begs me for more money, my dad is gone, I have no job, I have no friends, well aside from the seven men I met a month ago. I never felt so helpless and depressed, I have no motivation to get another job. Maybe I should let myself rot until I start to care.

I slouch into the seat and look through the sunroof, an ocean of stars washing over the sky. Tae must have noticed my gazing because he pulls over and looks up as well.

I raise my hand up and point to a star that sits alone from the other stars, "You see that star over there? The one alone? That's me." I say, lowering my hand and he chuckles.

"No it's not." He argues, but I shake my head. "You're not alone, Y/n. I'm here, the other guys as well."

"Even so, I still feel so isolated from the rest of the world. Like I don't belong here and I'm just struggling alone. No matter who comes into my life, something goes wrong and then I'm alone." I explain, not moving my eyes from the lonely star.

"We're not going to leave you alone, brat." He says, looking over to me to lighten the mood.

"You say that now, but I always seem to screw something up. I'm slow, like I don't see the issue in relationships or what I do until it's over." I can see him shaking his head in my peripheral vision.

"Look at the moon." He says after a while and I move my eyes to the large crescent moon. "You may not see it, but you're the moon, not some dumb star." He says and I look over to him, but this time his eyes are on the moon.

"It lights up the whole sky, taking the attention away from the other small stars. Not on purpose of course, but you can't help but admire its beauty from afar. You don't realize it at first, but then you see that the moon is so important, without it the world will die. The moon may not think it's special, but I can see the different changes in it every night and the importance of it's simple beauty. Everyone wants to explore it, but only few have been able to search it, but they will never be able to reach the grace it holds." His words squeeze my heart strings.

"I'm not the moon." I say and finally he meets eyes with me, his twinkling from the moonlight.

"You don't understand, but you are, Y/n." He looks back up to the sky and points up, "The boys and I are the 7 stars that sit beside it. We're not important, but we want to be close to you." He says and I'm grateful that it's dark or else he would be able to see my dark red cheeks. I look at the 7 stars beside the moon that he was referring to and there they were.

"Thank you." I whisper and he turns to look at me again, this time not breaking eye contact.

"Now I understand." He says, sounding almost breathless.

"What? Astronomy?" I ask grinning, but his serious face doesn't break.

"I didn't understand why the others were so invested in someone ordinary like you, but I now understand. You're so special. You need us and we need you. Please promise me, Y/n. Don't leave me. We need you." He says, I finally contact.

"If you're horny just say so, but I'm good." I say brushing him off, but his eyes don't drift off me.

"For once in my life, I'm not." He says finally smiling.

Okay good, the seriousness was getting to me. Why do they need me? And do I really need them? No, just go home and sleep it off.

*

*

*

A/N

I got my nails done today and it took me over an hour to write this bc I've struggled to write, but now I'm basically a pro now<3 Also PLEASE keep up with the funny comments, they're literally what I'm thinking, but can't write lol. This reminded me of Jin and I regret that this moment wasn't with him omg. Missed opportunity. Anyways I love you guys so much and prepare yourself for more lovey moments !!!!

-Melanie