My Safe Place

Chapter 8

Adelyn

"Good morning, Adelyn. I was surprised to see you booked an appointment with me."

I take a seat on the couch. "It's happening again. I can feel myself slipping into the hole I was in." I swallow the lump in my throat.

Carol frowns. "Ok, ok. Tell me what's going on."

"He's back. Ethan's back."

"Your ex-boyfriend, Ethan?" Carol raises an eyebrow.

"We were never boyfriend and girlfriend." I say a little too aggressive. "We were never boyfriend and girlfriend." I say softer.

"Right." Carol says.

"He's Isabelle's girlfriend and she never knew about us." I say.

Carol nods. "Have you and Ethan had a conversation about this?"

"Ethan and I have had many conversations in the past few weeks." I sigh.

"Adelyn, if you and Ethan are still acting the same way towards each other as you were in high school- it isn't healthy. You can't let yourself slip back again." Carol explains.

"I know that, I do. I want to walk away, I really want to but- but- it's Ethan." I breathe out.

Carol nods. "I can't make you do anything, but you need to remember how you were for the next year after graduation. Can you really let yourself go through that again?"

"It's different this time. The bad parts of him are- different... and the good parts are better."

"Adelyn."

"I don't want to let him back in." I say quickly. "I don't."

"Tell me the reasons why you don't want to let him back in." Carol says.

"Isabelle loves him. I love Isabelle. I don't want her to get hurt." I mumble.

Carol nods writing something down. "What else?"

I take a deep breath. "I don't want to be left depressed again."

Carol nods and motions me to go on.

"I don't want him to be upset at me that I see my Dad." I whisper.

"Ok." Carol says softly knowing the touchy subject. "That's a good sign, you have answers. Can you tell me why you might want to let him in again?"

I sigh laying back on the couch. "I know his soft side. Once you know his soft side, you can never really recover. I've never met a guy with as big a soft side as Ethan had for me." I say softly.

"Even Josh?" Carol asks.

"Even Josh." I agree.

Carol opens her mouth to speak again but the words begin to flow from my mouth. "Ethan's sisters, they're really sweet. I wouldn't mind seeing them often. His smile is really cute too. Every time I see him it's just- it's so hard for me to not kiss him."

Carol clears her throat. "But he's Isabelle's girlfriend now."

I sit up and cross one leg over the other. "Exactly. He's Isabelle's girlfriend."

"And Isabelle doesn't know about your past at all?"

"She thinks we had a one night stand. I began to tell her and she guessed we have a one night stand, and he never called me back. She was saying how if it was more than that she'd care but since it wasn't it didn't matter." I explain. "I let her believe that. If she knew the truth it would only cause her pain."