Healing with the moon

Chapter 44 Hermione P.O.V

Two-way diary talk

I had the photo of Ron, Harry and I clutched close to my chest as I curled up as small as I could, I knew I was worrying Bella I knew I had to stay strong for her. I hurt small feet enter from my window, my head automatically snapped in the direction, there she was my perfect princess, my Alice was stood there worry covered her face, I continued sobbing as she brought me into a tight hug

"Hermione what's wrong you can talk to me"

"Oh, Alice" I sobbed into her cold neck

"sh..sh..sh" she gently rocked me  back and forth, before slowly guided me to bed, lay me down "what happened"

"Why wasn't it me, why can't everything go back to how it was before" I wanted to tell Alice everything right then and there but similarly to when we were in the bathroom, ice formed in my throat cutting me off from revealing any more. All the crying had tired me out and I soon fell asleep in Alice's arm.

*Big time jump to the 25th of April*
I truly love Alice it pained me to keep her in the dark about this, the first anniversary of the end of the war is coming soon. I have been having more waking nightmares and the pain is catching up to me quickly.

I took out the diary 'hey Harry, remember in the tent after Ron came back we made the promise to be siblings forever '  the tears started flowing too fast for me to continue writing.

I went to the bathroom and had a hot shower, hoping to get the painful memories out of my head. I opened my wardrobe and picked out, smart black trousers, a plain white blouse and my favourite black coat. I took down my mirror and kept my curtains shut, I brushed my hair.

As usual, as soon as I stepped out of Bella's truck I was attacked by one of Alice's spine crushing hugs, "why are you dressed in all black what happened" Alice's face turned sad and sympathetic.

"My" I took a deep breath "My friends died" once again was pulled into a hug this time everyone joined in.

I kept my window open all week for Alice, everyone had noticed that I was eating less endless, the guilt and grief were eating away at my appetite.

I opened my eyes looking over at the calendar on my wall, the fifth of May, I let out a long hard sigh. This was the day I had been trying to ignore, I left my bed and shut the window before climbing back in bed with the two-way diary. 'Hey Harry, I miss you'  I swallowed hard as the ink trail from Harry's quill brushed over the page

'Hey Mione, I miss you too, the Weasleys and I are going to visit Ron's grave, also Kingsly would really appreciate it if you spoke at the post-war conference I knew I did not have the energy for all that but Harry had to think that I was fine.

'Yeah sure, I could do the speaking, when are you visiting Ron's grave'  Harry and I continued to write to each other ad I wrote my speech

Several hours of writing and I had finished the speech for Kingsly, I opened my wardrobe and got on my formal black robes, I brushed my hair and picked up the present for Ron.

I was the first to arrive do stood in silence after placing down a book I had written just for him called 'The Adventures The Golden Trio Had Thanks To Ron Weasley' "he would have loved it, Hermione".

I turned to face Molly her eyes red from mourning the loss of her son "thank you, Molly". After the war ended I constantly apologise to Molly, Ron had sacrificed himself for me, Ron was irreplaceable for everyone. We stade talking for a while longer until we realised the time. We went straight to Hogsmead, wherefrom where everyone walked up to the courtyard. It felt as if my heart was going to burst out of my chest.

"Good evening, thank you all for coming, I understand how painful this is for you all, the war claimed lives and continues to destroy the lives of the living. I asked Mr Potter and Miss Granger to say some words" Kingsly's calming voice echoed around the yard.

Harry spoke first he looked straight out onto the sea of people before taking a deep breath. "Hello, I honestly did not know where to start. I am so sorry for the lives lost and ruined but these events can never be undone. I think a lot of us used to and still do blame ourselves for what happened, for not dying but we lived and must continue living together in peace and harmony despite blood status because it has no meaning anymore, we must not let peoples deaths be in vain." I felt the tears slowly fill behind my eyes.

I stood on the podium, the beads of sweat slowly building behind my neck, all their eyes looking up and staring at me making me feel exposed, I took a deep breath to fight back the tears. "Good evening everyone. Thank you for your support. When I look back on the war even a year later I still feel like it was yesterday. Too many good people with so much potential died, they never should have. I had the privilege to fight alongside so many. Ronald Weasley jumped in front of the killing curse to save me. Collin Creavy despite being too young to fight, still fought and lost his life. They were someone's son, daughter, husband, wife, mother, father, we must remember everyone, even the death eaters and never make the same mistake." After I said my speech in unison everyone raised their wands in the air lighting them,

"Ronald Weasley, Cedric Diggory, Sirius Black, Collin Creavy, Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape, Nymphadora Lupin, Remus Lupin, Ted Tonks, Dobby" speaking as one body, all the victims of the war nomatter were there loyalty lay.

I disapparated back home, I instantly felt light headed, I plaice my finger to my nose blood was flowing as blackspots closed my vision until I felt wait less and everything was black.

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