33. Journal Entry One of Growing

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l tried, Dad I really tried

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l tried, Dad I really tried.

But I can't seem to wipe the smile off my face

Marco thinks that I've lost it because my sister got married.

That is definitely not the case.

My sister is in good hands. My brand-new sister-in-law is a lovely, sensible, wonderful person and she and Jenna obviously care very much for each other.

Their happiness is not why I'm smiling, though.

For the first time in a while, I'm smiling for me.

For my happiness.

My happiness has lately taken the form of the Northern Lights.

Also known as an Aurora.

Aurora.

When I met her seven months ago, I was caught so off guard when I stepped on to that elevator that morning.

My mind was filled with things that I could possibly ask Dr Friedrich Johnson.

The moment I noticed her, I forgot how to think.

Something about her made me stop.

She's beautiful, Dad, I'll never deny that, but it wasn't her beauty that caught me, or made me hold my breath.

It was her aura.

Her aura drew me in and has been pulling me closer ever since.

Probably why I've taken to calling her Aura.

Tonight, it pulled me closer than ever.

And I did it, Dad.

I crossed the chasm.

I took a flying leap and l seemed to have landed on my feet.

She said yes, Dad.

She said yes.

She said yes with a smile and then she giggled nervously, just like she'd been doing since I asked her to dance.

She makes me smile, Dad.

The way she treats life and how joyous she is.

She smiles like she has never known sorrow, despite knowing it well, I assume.

She laughs in such an infectious way that it a wonder that the whole world doesn't laugh along with her.

She smells fantastic.

Sometimes, like a garden on a crisp spring morning, or sometimes just like herself.

When I touch her, the way I did when we were dancing, there's excitement, but there is also ease, there is comfort, there is an immense serenity and sometimes I feel like I'm insane for thinking all that of a simple touch.

Her eyes are absolute, deep, rich chocolate brown, like every colour that has ever been present on earth and beyond was mixed together to make the colour of her eyes and all these stories are there, written into the intricate lines of her eyes.

Her eyes are so expressive.

It's almost as if her eyes tell the world what she's thinking and feeling before her mouth can even try.

When I look at her, I look forward to her rolling her eyes, widening them, narrowing them, anything, because I know that I won't ever be able to finish counting the expressions she can make with them.

I may not be able to read everything in her eyes, though.

Not yet, anyway.

I have no idea what she was feeling or thinking as she looked at me today, but her eyes were shining.

When she speaks to me, I want to listen. I don't want to stop listening.

When the world is so busy and hectic, she's like the serenity in it.

Today marks the first step, Dad.

The first step towards the rest of our lives.

I wish you were here to hear her laugh and tell me that I made a good choice choosing her.

I think I'll keep choosing her, Dad.

At least for a while.

And just as I told her remember tonight... for it is the beginning of forever.

 for it is the beginning of forever

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