Silence [The Hunger Games]

Chapter Forty-Two

 Valeria woke me up the next day to prepare me for the final interviews. After a terrifying ordeal in the lift, I was taken to be prepared for the interviews. Apparently, they’d had to postpone my interview an extra day due to the amount of treatment I had, and to suit the lifestyles of the viewers. And so, the show was scheduled for mid-afternoon.

  I had a horrifying sense of déjà vu as I sat obediently in on the tenth floor dressing rooms and allowed Sophia and her team to work on me. They acted as they normally would, Felix and Annabella chatting away, Leonie working quietly with her nimble fingers and Sophia overseeing the situation. Yet I had changed a lot since last I’d seen them. I had killed people. I’d lost my best friend. I’d become a monster and lost my identity. I was a new person entirely.

 I shut my eyes at Leonie’s request, and allowed her to brush eye shadow over my lids.

 “I’m giving you dark makeup to match your dress. We thought black was best…it’s a mourning colour,” Leonie told me softly, checking my makeup was in order.

 “Thank you,” I whispered back. She smiled sadly and squeezed my hand.

 I stood up then to allow the stylists to fit my dress. Sticking with the leather theme, a bodice had been fitted which fitted loosely on my frail frame. The skirt, however, was made of black feathers down to my knees, which stroked my bare legs comfortingly. I smiled weakly, spreading my arms like wings.

 “I’m a raven,” I said. I saw Sophia rest her hands on my shoulders in the mirror. Her grip was firm, but comforting and I resisted the urge to burst into tears.

 “Do you like it?” she asked.

 “I love it,” I said truthfully. I just wished I was wearing it for a different reason.

 “Logan would have liked it too,” I said.

 “I think so too,” Leonie agreed, coming over to hug me. 

 “Deep breaths,” she told me, “Not long to go.” I nodded against her shoulder. I’d be home soon. But what did that mean for me? A marriage to a man I didn’t love. A house too big for a small person. All sense of normality lost. I couldn’t bear to think of it.

 I pulled away and took one last look in the mirror. Beside me, I saw him. Logan. He smiled, and gently brushed my styled curls behind my ears. I smiled back, knowing he was with me again at last. Clementia had done as I’d asked.

 He followed me to underneath the stage, where a silver cylinder stood to carry me on stage. I fidgeted whilst I waited for the rest of my team to arrive. Drew came over to me and squeezed my hand comfortingly. His palms were sweaty and I reminded myself that he was probably nervous too.

 A call from the stage manager told me there was two minutes before the show began. Everyone left to assume their positions, and I stepped on the metal plate. Memories from the start of the Games flashed into my mind, followed by a spiralling montage of terror. My breathing rapidly increased, and I began to hyperventilate. I turned to run, and saw my supposedly dead friends clustered around me. Clementia. Kai. Even Avery was there. And Logan.

 “I’m scared,” I admitted quietly, shrinking back into myself. Logan pressed a finger to his lips silently, before stepping forward and kissing my forehead so softly I didn’t feel it. I could hear the Panem anthem playing, and the applause as my prep team and Sophia took to the stage. I sighed as Logan gave me a reassuring smile.

 “We’ll be with you,” he whispered. I wasn’t sure he said it at all, his lips barely moving and his voice mostly lost in the applause, but it helped me even so. The cheering told me that it was almost time to go on stage. Eli, Valeria and Drew would have just left the stage. The plate erupted beneath my feet, and I began to rise. A rumble of approval came from the crowd as I raised my eye line from the floor shyly. I couldn’t see, but I was sure there was a standing ovation. I waved blindly to give myself something to do, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Venus and clapping whilst approaching me. She put an arm around me, beaming.