Silence [The Hunger Games]

Chapter Fifty-One

 I stayed at Drew’s house for the remainder of the night, unable to leave Pandora. I feared she’d fit again, so lay beside her in the bed, trying to keep an eye on her. It seemed, however, that sleep must have captured me, as I woke up with sunlight streaming through the windows and enlightening Pandora, who was preparing the fireplace for lighting. I sat up abruptly.

 “Pandora!” I said, jumping out of bed and throwing my arms around her. She clasped me back fiercely. When we pulled apart, she wiped a tear of my cheek. I hadn’t even realised I was crying.

 “How…how are you?” I asked. She smiled, and pressed a hand to her heart. I assumed she meant she was OK.

 “Good,” I whispered. I checked the time on the large clock on the wall. It was ten o’clock. Drew probably wouldn’t be up yet. He always slept for as long as he could when he finally drifted off. Pandora was still in a state, so I ran her a bath, fetching a white fluffy robe for when she got out.

 “What’s mine is yours now,” I told her, as she washed her hair. She smiled, her shoulders relaxing as she lay beneath the bubbles, breathing in the aroma of passion fruit. I left her to soak, passing Drew in the corridor, who had obviously only just awoke.

 “You’re up early,” I commented.

 “I couldn’t sleep. How is Pandora?”

 “She’s OK. She’s in the bath at the moment.”

 “Fine. Find me a shirt, will you?” he said, kicking aside an abandoned shoe. It skidded to a halt at the top of the stairs. I scowled at him.

 “Do it yourself. I’m not your slave.”

 “I could do with a slave,” he mumbled as he wandered downstairs to the kitchen in his pyjamas. I followed him with a roll of my eyes.

 “You should really tidy this house up. It’s a mess,” I said, making some boiled eggs for the three of us.

 “You do it,” Drew said again, putting his feet on the table. When I gave him a disapproving look, he grinned and waggled his toes.

 “Don’t push your luck.”

 The doorbell rang at that moment, and Drew raised his eyebrow at me, giving his head a pointed nod in the right direction.

 “Well don’t just stand there. Answer it!”

 I swatted him around the head with an old newspaper, but I knew he was only joking. He stood to answer the door whilst I buttered some toast. Drew came back with a note in his hand.

 “It was your Father. Eddie told him to give you this.”

 “Typical. Eddie could easily have done it himself,” I snapped, snatching the letter from his grasp and tearing it open.

 Darling Raven,

 I’m so sorry about yesterday. I don’t want to disturb you, so please come over the fence at midday to see me. Bring Pandora with you too. I will wait for as long as it takes you to come. I once again beg your forgiveness. Please come.

 All my love,

 Eddie.

 I stared at the note for a moment, before stuffing it in my pocket. I would go, I’d decided.

 Drew tactfully didn’t ask what had been said, and when Pandora arrived, we ate breakfast in silence. Then, I readied myself and Pandora to leave. Thanking Drew for his hospitality, we left for the fence. Communicating wasn’t easy, but our hands were locked in an affectionate grasp as we walked. I told her of my plans for the Victory Tour. She looked shocked when I told her, and began to shake her head fiercely. I smiled sadly.

 “I have to. It’s important.”

 She made a death motion across her neck, her eyes franticly darting around for a reason I couldn’t decipher. I squeezed her hand to comfort her.

 “Don’t worry. This is just one of those things that I have to do. Yes, it may be dangerous, but I’m willing to make that sacrifice. After all, isn’t it all just one big game?”

 We reached the fence, and I allowed Pandora to go first. When we reached the other side, she joined hands with me again, obviously scared of getting lost.

 “While I’m away, my Father will look after you. Or…if today goes well, I suppose Eddie…”

 Pandora gave me a knowing look. She’d obviously guessed that I didn’t love Eddie. I told her everything then. From the whipping to the present, I spilled my soul. I told her things I’d never told anyone. I told her that I loved Logan. How much I missed him. Of course, Pandora never said anything. But she didn’t need to. Her eyes grew wider as my story continued, but I could tell that she never once judged me. She didn’t judge me for killing anyone. She wasn’t disgusted with me for leaving Logan. And she didn’t make me feel guilty for marrying Eddie.

 It was mid-afternoon by the time I’d finished. We were nearly at the lake where Eddie and I met every day. Having finished my sorry tale, I looked at Pandora. She had concern in her eyes, and she clearly pitied me. I tried for a smile and sat down against a tree, producing sandwiches and apples for our lunch. We ate slowly, the sunny day refreshing after all the gloominess of the past few days. Then we continued walking, hiding behind a cluster of bushes to see Eddie. True to his word, he was there. He was plucking absentmindedly at the grass surrounding him, his face devoid of expression. He’d always been good at hiding his emotions, and I knew that inside he must be a wreck. Pandora went to move towards him, but I held her back. We watched him for hours, and as the sun began to set, I thought he might give in.

 He didn’t.

 Night had arrived, and Pandora was dozing on the ground next to me. Eddie lay on his back, looking at the stars. Still waiting, like he said. I’d seen enough. Emerging from behind the tree, I shyly approached him. He saw me and stood up quickly, brushing the mud and grass off his trousers.

 “I didn’t think you’d show up,” he said. Then he awkwardly shoved his hands in his pockets, looking at the ground in shame.

 “I…I don’t really know how to begin,” he stuttered “I’m so sorry. I have no idea what came over me…I don’t know. Where…where is she? Pandora?”

 “She’s asleep,” I said, feeling as reluctant as him to speak. Eddie, with a seemingly sudden burst of confidence, grabbed my arms and squeezed.

 “Please forgive me, Raven. I cannot bear to be a day without you. I shouldn’t have said such prejudiced things against your friend, and I regret it now…”

 He ran out of things to say, and his hands dropped to his sides again. But it was enough. Though he’d done something horrible, I couldn’t stay angry. I reminded myself how lucky I was to have someone to love me and protect me no matter what. I leaned forward and brushed his lips quickly.

 “I forgive you,” I assured. Eddie leant his forehead against mine, his breath hot on my face.

 “You don’t know how glad I am. But I would have waited here, you know. For as long as it took.”

 “I know,” I said truthfully. That’s the thing. He was willing to do anything for me. And as long as that kept Pandora and my family safe, it was all I needed from him. His words from a few months before rang in my head. If forever is how long you require, that is how long I will wait. I allowed myself to be lead home with Pandora in tow, in the knowledge that I was as safe with Eddie as I’d ever be.