Cecilia scanned through the mass of people that surrounded her and tried to look for a familiar face. This unbelievably uncomfortable bench she was sitting on had managed to turn her backside horribly numb already after 15 minutes of sitting all the while the person she was expecting to see was nowhere in sight.
Did he forget? Did something happen?
She and John had agreed to meet up at the Venice boardwalk 9 PM sharp, but Cecilia was still alone, waiting on that already mentioned bench. She observed the people surrounding her and the way they smiled at each other and the way they seemed so excited for the evening. Seeing all those happy people around her managed to soothe her nerves in a way, and that was something Cecilia desperately needed.
She knew that she and John needed to talk and her mind was made up, but that didn't do a thing against her nerves or her anxiety. Her insides were once again turning and she couldn't stop thinking about the way he looked at her the last time she saw him and how much she cried after that. The prospect of seeing him again brought back all her confusion and all her uncertainty regardless of how confident she had been in her decision before.
Cecilia thought that perhaps having some water would do some good for her, but as soon as she stood from the bench and intended to walk to a nearby kiosk, her eyes met with a set of familiar, dark eyes that stared right into her's.
"Hey," John almost whispered and smiled a polite, light smile.
"I'm uh.. Sorry for being so late," he apologized with a light stutter, "I uh.. I had a hard time getting a cab. You know, Friday and all."
"It's uh.. It's okay," Cecilia nodded and smiled back, just as politely as John some seconds ago.
A moment of silence then fell between the two, neither of them knowing what to do or what to say. Cecilia knew very well what she had intended to tell John and why she had agreed to meet up with him in the first place, but it didn't take much more than his mere presence to make her body tingle and buzz all over. Again, it suddenly seemed so unimportant next to the fact that he was standing right in front of her again, healthy and clear headed. In fact, it seemed so much more important than the real reason why Cecilia had agreed to come and it almost felt as if she wanted to put it off her mind on purpose.
She would have so much rather just looked at him and observed the way he moved and the way he spoke and the way he smiled these smiles that were so much more shy than they used to be. In a way, it still seemed as if he was the same boy Cecilia met all these years ago and knew so well, but then again, at another moment he wasn't this person at all. He seemed so covered and so hidden, but at the same time, he seemed so bare and so out in the open. And that is something that captivated Cecilia beyond the words she didn't want to speak and perhaps the ones she wasn't even sure if she was ready to hear. When she thought about it, she actually didn't mind the silence at all.
But just as Cecilia didn't know what to say, neither did John and also just like Cecilia, he too knew very well what he had intended to say, but didn't know how and didn't know if it even was something Cecilia wanted to hear or he had the right to say. He looked at the way the soft evening breeze blew through Cecilia's hair and the way the illuminating lights played on her delicate face and it reminded him of all the times they spent together smoking on the balconies and the way he would hold her hand and kiss her fingertips and then tell her that he loved her and she always smiled and kissed him after that.
For a moment, it made him so euphorically happy, but then he thought about how her smiles turned into tears as the years went by and how it was all his fault and how she begged him to stop and get help, but he never did and he suddenly felt so worthless and so selfish that he wanted to just turn around and run away, but he couldn't. He couldn't, because he was the one, who wanted to see her and he was the one, who invited her here and all in all, he had been running away from himself for quite some time.
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Time Is Nothing (John Frusciante)
قصص الهواةWhen Cecilia returns from New York to her hometown of Los Angeles, she is shaken by the events that have taken place in her life during the last few months. Little by little, with the help of friends and family, she manages to pick up the pieces and...
