When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
«Leave Out All The Rest» Linkin Park
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hey everybody:) it's me, but some years later. i first started this when i was 16/17? i just turned 24 so that's pretty nuts. i've been thinking about this fic a lot tho recently and wanted to come share.
when i wrote this i was a thoroughly depressed teenager working through some complicated shit in my relationship with my dad (among other things) and i got some of it out through this story (tho obvi it's not what the whole thing is about). it took a long few years but i'm really happy with the point our relationship worked to. he just passed away pretty suddenly a few weeks before christmas, on 12/13/21.
grief is weird and illogical and impulsive and dramatic, or at least those have been parts of my experience with it. but i've been thinking about some of the things i'd written in here and feeling guilty that it took so long to reforge our relationship (because despite all the damage done, he was at the place where that was possible much earlier than i was and he gave me as much time and space as i needed until i could fully come back to him). as much as i know i needed some of that time and to go through what i did, a part of me looks back at this story and thinks what the fuck was i doing wasting all that time with him. he wasn't perfect but he was pretty amazing. flawed but an incredible human being. and i loved him so much the entire time.
i'd like to reiterate that grief isn't logical or rational. it's kinda a bizarre pain in the ass and looks a little nuts from the outside. with that said, tonight i feel the need to come and i guess defend one of the antagonists in my own story? something like that.
i feel the need to put out into the world that this character and story i once felt the need to write wasn't all there is to it, and as much as i wish it was still going, it had a happy enough ending. at the end of the day, my dad was so ridiculously amazing and i never had to question just how much i was loved in this world, i promise.
i really wish there was more of a point to posting this after so many years other than it being 1am and my dad died and my thoughts like to wander too far sometimes. it just do be like that.
thank you everyone who has read this story, it's gotten so many more reads than i had been expecting (estimated to be <100) and sometimes i'll still come to catch up on some of the comments and they make me smile. the grand poetic and impactful advice i will leave you with is be conscious of the time you spend with people. you can spend some of that time being mad and hurt and angry at the world, but when possible try to heal then mend what you can, because time does run out when you least expect it. all you have left is memories so make as many of them good as possible.
k i'm done being a depressing bitch i have to adult in a matter of hours and hopefully some sleep occurs before then. 5sos have a single coming out soon, the earth is healing.
(WAIT SINCE I FINISHED THIS I MET ASHTON AT A SWS CONCERT AND HE GIVES AMAZING HUGS HOLY SHIT MY SOUL WAS SAVED) k🤘🏼❤️
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Graffiti Girl // Michael Clifford
Fanfictionwe're different kinds of artists. we both know the world can be a shitty place. we both have ways of making our own parts of it better. you use music. i use spray cans. or, the one where she's a little fucked, and he's a little curious about the mys...
