Forecast - Rainbow makes way through the grey skies.
Ruturaj
"R-rutu?!! Rutu, what the hell are you doing?! Do you even remember what had happened the last time you had decided to get in a lift?!! Are you listening to me, Rutu?"
The only thing I can hear is that she called me Rutu. The only thing I can think is what a big fool I have been to let my past haunt me into believing that I am not Kriti's first choice.
The doors of the lift close as I take Kriti's hand whose fingers had been pressing the button to keep it open.
"RUTURAJ GAIKWAD, HAVE YOU LOST IT?? YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS DAMN LIF-"
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry Kriti. The truth is that I've never been someone's first choice...."
"...The only girl I loved before you was my college bestfriend Urmi. But one day, she told me that she didn't love me enough to endure the distance that cricket put between us. I didn't understand. But I tried to, until she started dating someone else as soon as she broke up with me. I felt betrayed. I-I co-couldn't believe it-t. For a while I felt as if I w-was disposable."
I stammer and look up to meet Kriti's eyes. I'm going to need some strength if I wish to continue speaking. Understanding my unspoken need, Kriti strokes my palm with her thumb. A habit that she has gotten from me, as she says. I take a deep breath in and continue.
"All the memories, all the conversations suffocated with me in the lift as she made an exit from my life. I-I was b-broken, Kriti. I couldn't breathe."
As if on cue, my lungs start struggling for breath. Not today, God. Please.
Kriti's eyes bulge in fright but she does the perfect thing to stop the panic attack. She hugs me.
And it isn't just the normal sort of hug. The occasional sobs that I hear tell me that she feels my pain. The sensation of her tears on my sweaty jersey stop my brain from panicking. Her love is powerful enough to absorb the pain of my past because as soon as the lift is about to open, I press the 15th floor button again, not wanting her staff to see her cry.
"So that's why you were terrified of lifts?" She speaks, raising her head slightly to meet my eyes and I nod.
"God Rutu. I'm so sorry you had to go through it. So so sorry...." Her voice trails off as she buries her face in my chest again. I'm surprised to see how she doesn't care a bit about my sweat. But perhaps that's what love is. It makes everything less significant than the one you love.
I feel Kriti taking a deep breath. A moment later, she takes my face in her hands. While holding my eyes she tells me something I'll remember as long as I live. She says,
The first Marathi line that she chose to learn literally meant "Ruturaj Gaikwad, even if I search, I'll never be able to find someone like you." But would generally be translated as "There's no one like you."
No, Kriti. There's no one like you.
******
We're in my room, sitting on the bed, laughing at the events of the past two days. Suddenly the whole misunderstanding seems hilarious to us and we can't stop clutching our stomachs as we laugh. A lot of tension from my body gets released with each chuckle.
"Say what you want, Kriti, but the knee surgery joke was hilarious. I'm so glad that he understood and respected your opinion."
Kriti silently moves close to me. I open my arms for her but she reaches for the pillow behind me.
She hits me once.
"For making me wait so long to hug you."
Twice.
"For holding so much pain within you and going through all the negative thoughts alone."
Thrice.
"For believing, even for a short while, that you weren't my first choice."
I wait for another hit when she holds the pillow tight in her arms, I crawl close to her, taking the ends of the lose pillow cover and twisting them to tickle her bare arms with it.
I begin from her shoulder and end at her elbow. She closes her eyes. I hear her sigh in pleasure.
"For loving me so strongly."
"For bearing with my silence."
"And..."
I purposely take a pause. She opens her eyes and asks, "And?"
I wrap my arms around her so that I can rest my head on her shoulders and whisper in her ears, "And for being mine."
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A/n - Us to Rutu - Jaisa tu hai waisa rehna, Jag ghoomeya thaare jaisa na koi
