Where Life Takes Us

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Five

W A D E

The next hours blurred together. Most times, my nightmares stuck with me even if I tried to block them out. This time, it took my foggy mind a while to hold on to what happened after one of the worst panic attacks I'd had.

The boys followed me and Avery, then pulled their car up to us. They tried to get me to go inside, but I was too distracted to hear what they were saying. I passed my car keys to Tyson, who offered to drive behind us back to my place. They were all quiet on the way home.

There was something nagging me that made me feel empty, raw, and numb all at once. I didn't realize I was so out of it until I was standing outside our house's front door, with my family reaching out to hug me from all directions.

"We're so glad you two are safe." Mom softly sighed, pulling away from me before giving Avery a quick hug. "Get some rest, then maybe we can talk? Only if you feel up to it."

I nodded, then I walked away and dragged my feet upstairs. It was like I had weights tied to my arms and legs. When I made it to my bed, I sat down on the edge and tried to think clearly for the first time that night. But no matter how hard I shut my eyes and put my head in my hands, nothing came to me.

The last thing I remembered was my head hitting the pillow and not fighting against the deep sleep I hadn't had in months.

__________

When I woke up, I didn't remember where I was or what happened. But then everything hit me. How bad I acted at the party, how rude I was to Avery and the boys, how I put our lives in danger last night.

I checked the time on my phone. When I saw it was already three in the afternoon, I sat up straight in bed. I fell asleep at nine last night. I slept eighteen hours.

Rubbing my eyes, I rushed downstairs. When I went into the kitchen, I saw Avery and my mom sitting at the kitchen island and drinking from mugs. Hazel and Charlie were drawing with Grandpa in the living room.

When Mom noticed me, she walked towards me and asked, "Honey, how are you feeling?"

"Um... tired. Sorry I fell asleep. I was gonna come back downstairs last night," I admitted, kissing Avery on the cheek before nervously swallowing. "But uh... I wanna talk. To all of you."

"You must be exhausted. We don't have to right now if you're not feeling well," Mom reminded me, as the entire room got quiet. "We understand and it's okay."

Almost every part of my body was sore. My shoulders, jaw, and back ached the most. I felt more wiped out compared to how I felt lately after hockey practice. Even after eighteen hours of sleep, I was ready to go back to bed and forget about having this talk.

But I couldn't do this to them, or even myself, anymore.

"No, I want to. I... I need to," I admitted, letting out a deep breath.

Once we sat down in the living room, I looked at everyone. I wanted to kick myself for doing this to them. When my hands started shaking, Avery reached for them.

"It's okay, we're here," Avery reassured me, squeezing my hand in hers.

For the first time in months, I let myself open up about everything. "The nightmares started since... Mom came back. I didn't think it was anything to worry about because they always come and go. But a nightmare once a month turned to once a week, then four or five times a week.