We Were Villains

10

Trigger warning:

Self harm.

"Lay down, you dumb bitch. Trying to hide from me? You'll never be able to hide from me."

He stumbled over, slamming the door shut behind him and unbuckled his belt. "Lay down," he repeated, throwing his belt to the ground.

"No, please," I cried, shaking my head. "Please don't do this."

I could smell the alcohol on him as he reached the foot of my bed, my heart pounding, my skin sweaty. I didn't want this, I didn't want this, I didn't want this.

"Don't make this harder, Alessia," Michael stated, green eyes raking over my body. He licked his lips. "Lay down and spread your legs, sweetheart."

I did as I was told because the consequences of not listening were worse.

Half an hour later, I scrubbed my skin until it was raw, the hot water trickling down my back burning, but I felt it as a reminder that I was still there.

I'm still here.

And yet, I wished I wasn't.

I closed my eyes, trying to forget it, but no matter what I tried, what he did to me haunted me, even when I was awake.

"Don't scream," he warned, grabbing a fist full of my hair. He pushed into me roughly, breathing heavily, before slapping my face. I bit my tongue, a metallic taste seeping into my mouth.

He slapped me again and again and again. "You are worthless, you bitch," he seethed, grabbing my hair and slamming my head into the bedpost. I let out a whimper, and it pissed him off.

"Please stop, dad," I begged, but he didn't, and soon, I had blood dripping down my mouth. "Please, no more."

Michael stood up and watched me. "Remember, say anything about this to your mom, to anyone. I will kill you."

He turned and stumbled out of my bedroom.

I woke up gasping for air, trembling. When I realized it was a nightmare, I calmed down a bit but the memory played over and over again until it made me sick to my stomach. I rushed to my bathroom, vomiting.

I emptied my stomach of everything until I dry heaved, nothing coming up. I stood up and wiped my mouth with a cloth, throwing it into the hamper when I finished.

After that, I just stood there crying, hands covering my mouth so the sobs couldn't be heard. He haunted me, even in death, he was able to fester in my wounds. I couldn't ... I couldn't handle it.

Lay down, you dumb bitch. Trying to hide from me? You'll never be able to hide from me."

I nearly ran to my backpack, taking out the razor I kept with me from Portland. I made sure my door was locked, before returning to the bathroom. I closed the bathroom door and slid down to the floor, pushing down my pants and underwear.

I swirled the blade between my fingers, before laying it on my skin and digging deep, sliding it across my skin. Blood seeped down my thigh as I dug deep, making one - two - three cuts on my skin.

I felt the instant relief, watching the scarlet ribbons of blood drip drip drip. I felt in control. He wasn't in control anymore.

+++

"Good morning, bambina," Angelo greeted, dressed in his suit again, this time with his tie on, as I walked into the kitchen. "Any plans for today?"

I lifted my shoulder in a half shrug. "Not much - did you figure out when my moms funeral will be?"

"Yeah, it's Monday afternoon. You'd still like to go?" I nodded and he fixed the cuffs of his shirt. "Okay. How about we leave this evening? That'll give us tomorrow to get settled into the hotel."

I looked down at my phone screen. Saturday. Today was Saturday. Four whole days had passed since the fire. I'd been in New York for two. " Who's taking care of the funeral arrangements?"

"Charlotte Richmond?" Angelo said, clearly not knowing who this woman. "Do you know her?"

"She's my moms best friend." I didn't care much for her, always nitpicking everything I ever did. She did it in a subtle way, even sometimes my mom didn't even notice. But her words cut like a knife. "I don't like her."

"Why's that?"

"She's a self centred, two faced bitch," I mumbled and Angelo hid the amusement in his expression by rubbing his face. "I think she had like two affairs before her husband finally divorced her."

"She sounds like a treat," my brother stated, smirking,

"I don't know if I can stop myself from punching her if she says anything," I said, truthfully.

Angelo chuckled. "I won't stop you ... but don't worry, Matti, Julian, and I will be there with you. No matter what."

I quirked an eyebrow. "Thank you, Angie."

My brothers lips pursed. "Don't call me that, baby."

I gasped slightly. "I'm not a baby."

"You'll always be the baby of the family. Get over it already," he teased and I shook my head, popping a strawberry on my mouth as Carlotta set a bowl of fruit in front of me. "Hey, why don't you ask Matti to take you shopping? He's free today and wants to spend some time with you."

"Shopping?" I nearly screeched, remembering our last shopping trip. "I haven't recovered from our last trip."

Angelo laughed. "Don't worry, it won't be a big haul .. well, unless you want it to be. Matti figured you'd like to get some books, notebooks, pens, stuff like that. And anything else you want."

"I don't have money-"

My older brother gave me a sharp look. "I've told you, Alessia. Use my money or Mattia's. We want to spoil you rotten."

"I already am rotten," I mumbled, a whisper. I regretted it immediately, as Angelo furrowed his eyebrows in confused.

"What do you mean, Alessia?" He asked, gently.

I looked up, trying my best to smile. "I mean, you guys have already done so much for me, taking me in, buying me clothes and a new laptop. I cannot ask for anything else."

"You deserve the world, bambina," he murmured, and smiled. "Stop fretting, okay? It's just money. Right, Matti?"

I spun around and my second oldest brother leaned on the kitchen entryway, observing us. He eyed me closely before smiling. "Damn straight. Come on, finish your breakfast. We have the entire day together."

+++

Thoughts on the brothers?
I wanted to show how Alessia is struggling.
Alessia is strong but she cannot see it in herself (yet).

Thank you for reading. Please vote and comment, I love hearing your feedback. Much love and take care - Charlie 🧡