We Were Villains

12

Luca banged on the door with his fists. I hurried to open the door, coming face to face with my brother. My brother reeked of alcohol, the smell wafting into the bathroom.

It made my breath hitch, unexpected. "Hey, Luca."

"Hey, bambina," he murmured, a bit of a slur to his words. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, backing up. I didn't feel comfortable, the alcohol bringing back memories of Michael. I could hear his voice in my head - lay down. Spread your legs. Don't scream or I'll slit your throat - all on repeat as my older brother stood in front of me, confusion and concern written all over his face.

"Y-yeah, I'm okay. Just about to take a shower and pack before we leave," I rushed out, wanting him to just leave me alone.

Luca nodded and offered a small smile. "I'm sorry again, about your mom. I hope the funeral .... I hope it goes well."

What the hell am I supposed to say? "Thanks, me too."
I watched my brother carefully, watching every single move he made. "Well, I'll see you when I get back, I guess."

Luca smiled and turned to leave, but scratched the back of his head. "I know we were just reunited, we don't really know each other, and yeah - I may be a bit drunk at the moment- but you can always come to me if you need anything. If you need to talk, or if you just need someone to listen, I'm here."

"You're drunk," I stated, the anxiety in my chest slowly devouring me.

"Drunken words are sober thoughts."

"Uh, thanks. I guess." I shifted on my feet. "Why aren't you coming?"

Luca frowned. "I have a meeting ... with my academic advisor. I couldn't get another date, I'm sorry." He looked sick with guilt - which I didn't understand. "I'll be a phone call away, if you need me, just call."

+++

As Angelo, Julian, Mattia, and I filed onto the plane. I took a seat at the very back, setting down my backpack between my legs. Julian lazily collapsed into the seat across from me, pulling on Angelo's hand to make him sit next to him.

"You wanna play poker?" Julian asked, fetching a pack of cards from the side of the seat pouch. Angelo gave him a look, opening his mouth to speak, but I chuckled.

"I will as long as you don't pull a gun on me when you lose," I said and Mattia laughed from across the isle.

Julian smirked. "You're not gonna let that go, are you?"

"It was very traumatizing."

"He won't ever make that mistake again, will you, babe?" Angelo reached out and squeezed Julian's thigh. Hard enough to make him wince.

"No, I won't," Julian said and heard Mattia clear his throat. I glanced at my second oldest brother and gestured to the deck of cards.

"Will you be with them in losing?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. He shook his head as he unzipped his laptop case.

"I have some patient files to catch up on," he said, and nodded to Angelo. "Watch him though, he likes to cheat."

Our older brother scoffed. "I do not."

"You do too," Mattia argued back.

"I do not."

"You do -"

"I never thought I'd have to say this," Julian muttered, straightening and giving each of my brothers a glare, "but stop acting like children. You're giving me a headache and we have four hours to go. And you don't exactly set a good example for your little sister."

I tried to hide the laughter that bubbled out of my lips but I couldn't help it, covering my mouth with my hand. Angelo and Julian shared a grin, before laughing themselves.

+++

The hotel we stayed in was forty minutes from my hometown. I don't know why Angelo didn't book a hotel closer but I didn't want to ask.

Julian pulled into the underground parking lot and stopped near the doors. Mattia sat in the back with me and slid out of the car with ease as I did the same. He popped the trunk and snapped his fingers at Angelo. "Hey, Angelo, help with the luggage," he scolded our oldest brother who was already striding towards the entrance.

Angelo huffed, doubling back. He took a suitcase from Mattia and my small backpack. He glanced up at me, raising an eyebrow. "You pack light," he commented.

I shrugged. "I packed essentials."

Julian laughed. "Angelo packed his entire wardrobe for a two day trip." He patted his boyfriend on the shoulder who pouted.

"I feel attacked," he muttered and beckoned me forward. "Come on, Alessia. You'll like this hotel, it even has a pool." I flinched at the mention of the pool, knowing I wouldn't be entering. Not with the scars on my legs.

Mattia and Julian followed us inside where a hotel attendant greeted us and offered to take our bags. We declined as Angelo spoke to the desk clerk, getting out room keys which which were adjoining rooms. We traveled to the eighth floor, my oldest brother leading the way. "You can stay with me," Mattia said, opening room 815.

"Okay." We entered the spacious room, the walls white and tan carpet floors. There were two queen sized beds, a large window overlooking the busy streets below. On the adjacent wall, a large flat screened tv was mounted overtop a desk with a computer chair.

"Take whichever bed you want," my brother said, tossing his suitcase onto the desk. He slipped the room keys into his pocket and I turned to look out the window, settling on the farthest bed from the door.

"When are we leaving in the morning?"

"The funeral is at 1. We'll leave here around 11:30," he said, a flicker of concern dancing in his eyes. "Are you okay?"

I was far from okay but nodded anyway, not wanting to bother him. He looked doubtful but didn't say anything. I glanced down, swallowing, feeling like he could see right through me. The truth was I felt sick to my stomach with anxiety.

"Lessie? You can talk to me," he murmured, reminding me of what Luca said earlier. He sat on the bed across from me, his full attention on me. "I know we're practically strangers, but I'm a good listener."

I shook my head. "I'm okay, Mattia," I whispered, not able to look him in the eye. I knew he didn't believe me, but I didn't want to spill my guts at the moment. I stood up and headed for the bathroom. "I just need a few minutes."

+++

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