Sweet and Bitter Memories Pt.1 - Jean x Reader

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It was midsummer, most of the soldiers were gone to visit their hometown. You'd be back at Trost too, if at least you had the money to afford the trip. Fortunately, there were a few who stuck around, barely Levi's whole squad to keep company.

You were currently seated on the vast cafeteria, your left side glued to the brick wall as you glanced outside the window whilst sipping on some cold, refreshing drink, thinking about the most irrelevant things and dawdling in solitude. Diagonally, you spotted Jean chatting with Mikasa, his eyes not abandoning her silky, black hair not even for the slightest second.

The way he would involuntarily lean over the table, always closing in the space between their face; The way his hazel, sharp eyes would never shift from her; The way he seemed to be interested in everything about Mikasa, even the pattern of her beating heart. It drove you insane and jealous.

But these thoughts, this tight feeling, and lust were morally wrong. They weren't acceptable towards someone who has been your best friend since birth. But it was also unacceptable not to feel any attraction for someone who you've known since the beginning, for someone you know about their strongest perfections and imperfections.

•••

"F/n!" Jean called out amidst the huge mass of bodies, at the time his body was still a bit chubby and short, yet to be hit by puberty.

You looked towards him, a smile immediately spreading across your cheeks at the sight of your best friend. He reached you, a bag of something unknown being securely clutched by his stubby fingers as he waved it through the air.

"Hi," Your childish voice ringed throughout the crowd, before Jean threw his arms around and embraced you. He detached away, raising his hand and showing you closer the brown paper bag, an intriguing scent egressing off the open lid.

"Mom cooked some goodies!" Jean grabbed your wrist, ushering away from the loud mass of people and turning around a corner, now bringing you to the quieter neighborhood of Trost, "Let's share."

You took a seat on the shallow stairs beside Jean, leaning inwards and glancing at the inside of the bag, spotting a few round biscuits. The festive music was still present from a fair, the faint beat inciting your curiosity even deeper.

As Jean held one out, your tongue salivated at the neat cookie with chocolate drops scattered around. He broke it into two pieces, handing the bigger piece to you. Your cheeks suddenly became scorching like the sun.

"Thanks!" You mumbled, immediately shoving the entire cookie inside your hungry mouth. The dough was still warm and you giggled at the sweet flavor of chocolate melting on your tongue, "This is really good."

He nodded aggressively, a few crumbs sticking to his lips. You were about to jump in for another one, when a blazing sting pinched your tastebuds. Your eyes grew, startled by the sudden spicy feeling.

"Uh," Jean muttered, his lips beginning to swell consecutively, "Maybe mom added some wrong ingredients."

"You think?!" You held out your tongue, hoping to minimize the heat, "I need water."

He looked around, sulking at the fact that the taunting, delicious looking cookies turned out to be erroneous, "I have an idea."

You stared at Jean while fanning your face, waiting for his hopefully 'grand' idea.

"Kiss my cheek!" He said, his worried expression suddenly filled with a joyous grin, "Trust me, it will improve the spicy sensation."

"What?!"

"C'mon f/n, do it before things worsen!" You crunched your eyebrows, struggling to believe his advice, "Look, I'll do it first."

Before you could back away, Jean leaned forwards, planting a sloppy peck on your blushing cheek. You jumped at the contact of his touch, a ticklish feeling flowing through your veins all the way to your feet as you jolted up.

"Hey!"

"See, my lips are much better now!" Jean remarked, though his burning eyes told otherwise. A small hiccup escaped your lips as your chest jumped simultaneously, "Hiccups?"

"I get them when I eat spicy things."

"Then kiss me quick!" He stood up, offering his chubby cheek.

Your muscles strained in return, contemplating whether to kiss him or strike a punch across his face. The latter one seemed more entertaining, so you pulled your arm backwards, swinging it forwards.

"Ow! F/n, that hurt!" Jean whined, cupping his red cheek and shooting you a weary look and slightly pouting, "So mean."

You looked sideways, abashed at your previous actions. Your knuckles throbbed in pain, it only made you feel worse whilst presuming Jean's face must've been hurting even more. The festive music suddenly faded into an eerie whisper, the streets darkened at the absence of the sun.

"I- I'm sorry." You muttered, stealing a peek at Jean who watched you intently. He crossed both arms, letting the bag filled with cookies stumble to the ground.

What you did next still heated your cheeks up until this day. You hazily walked towards him, with head still hung low as you began scrutinizing your dirty shoes: the misplaced laces, the mud spots at the tips, everything except how close they were to touching Jean's feet.

You noticed as Jean stiffened before you raised your head, placing your lips on his cheek. His skin was so soft and puffy.

"It didn't improve the heat."

He giggled mischievously as you remained puzzled.

•••

Memories and more memories. That's all you had left from Jean Kirschtein. And even though you knew the possibilities of this unrequited love ever exisiting were extremely low, seeing his face, his smile, and hazel eyes were enough to keep you sane for now.

"I wonder if he even remembers," You whispered, resting your head on your knuckle as you gazed your infancy best friend while he continuously talked to Mikasa, who seemed utterly uninterested, "Come talk to me..."

"F/n!" A brunet suddenly entered your view, blocking away Jean's figure. His galvanized, aqua eyes stared directly to yours, not daring to blink for once, "We have to go, clean the horse stable. Captain's order."

You frowned, groaning in response, "It's vacation, for god's sake."

"Trust me, I want to kick Levi's ass as much as you," (I bet you do, Eren. Hahah, forget this comment.) You let out a loud chuckle, in conjunction with Eren's, "We'll braid his horse's tail and hair. It'll be fun,"

He grabbed your hand, as if pleading, "If you say so,"

Together with Titan Boy, you exited the cafeteria and headed to the stable all the while being furtively stared by none other then Jean Kirschtein. His stern eyes twitched at the sight of both of you chuckling, especially after witnessing your hands clutched together. It stung every part on his body.

"We'll talk more later," Jean said, excusing himself off the table.

"Go ahead. Good luck with f/n." The stoic woman muttered, equally annoyed at seeing her brother slip away from her possession.




+++

UGH HE'S SO HOT. I love you Jean.

Run horseface, go get yo' love. Ok, so I promised this request since weeks and recently realized I haven't delivered it. Sorry, I forgot. I know, I'm a horrible person. JK, I'm not. HAHAHAHAHH, JK perhaps I am.

My dog's barking at me, help.



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