this love is good, this love is bad [wenclair]

chapter 18: you fight and you talk

A/N: I feel like I'm becoming annoying with these. Anyway, short update because I'm low-key (high-key) losing my sanity to Latin and Greek (fr people, choose Latin OR Greek if u want to be quirky and study a dead language like me)
Also, updates may not be as regular cuz exams 😍
Bisous 💁‍♂️✨✨

"I'm done with this."

Enid's words were still echoing, even though it had been about fifteen minutes since she got back inside.

"I'm done with this."

I just froze when she said that, and hadn't moved since. The air had become dry -too dry- and breathing had become painful.

"I'm done with this."

Did she really mean it? After one stupid fight? A fight that didn't even turn out productive in any way.
I felt empty. I didn't want to feel empty. Kind of like the first time we fought, back at Nevermore. That one fight seemed ridiculously insignificant now. I remembered how I felt when she moved back with Yoko. I didn't want to feel that again, so I went back inside. I wasn't going to let one fight ruin everything.

Maybe I chickened out. I was standing in front of the door to our room. Just standing. Should I knock? Should I just get in? Did I have to be the one to 'reach out'? I didn't get a lot of time to think about that, because Pugsley went through the hallway to get to his room.
"What are you doing, Wednesday? Did you lock yourself out or something?" he chuckled.
"Damn, you're funny," I replied without any emotion.
I waited for him to pass by.
"Why are you still standing here?" he asked.
"Why are you? Just go to your room, Pugsley," I said, and finally grabbed the door handle and pushed it open.
I immediately closed the door after getting into our room, which was plunged into darkness.
"Goodnight, Wednesday!" my brother screamed from his room.
"'Night," I replied quietly, knowing he wouldn't hear me.
I really just lost some precious time hesitating in front of that door, because Enid didn't even hear me come in. She was lying on her bed, on her side, curled up in a ball, her earphones in, and her back facing my side. Even though she probably wasn't, she seemed to be asleep. I took my shoes off and slid them under my bed before going over to her side. I sat down next to her on the bed and softly put a hand on her shoulder. But she closed like a flower and then formed an even smaller, tense ball. I tried something else and laid down on my side as well. We just lay there for some time, in silence. Then my ears got used to that deafening silence, and I could hear her music through her earphones. Neither of us moved for a long time, and eventually, Enid finally relaxed. I wanted to make sure she could hear me, so I carefully removed one of her earphones. She didn't protest.
"Look, Enid, I'm sorry."
She didn't move.
"I'm sorry for how I behaved."
Still nothing.
"And I'm sorry for ruining today. But I just can't with Ajax."
She tensed up again.
"You are really often on the phone with him or texting when the two of us are alone."
That was really poor phrasing and kind of clumsy.
"He's my boyfriend," she said calmly. "It should be normal."
"I know."
I hesitated before telling her, but I still did it. I had nothing to lose.
"I'm always afraid that you're going to choose him over me. Over us."
I snuggled up against her like it had become the habit, and she just let me.
"I'm sorry for whatever you could be mad at me for. I'm so sorry if I hurt you. I don't want to lose what we have. I care so deeply about you."
My arm was over her waist, and my forehead leaned against the base of her neck as I repeated my last sentence.
"I care so deeply about you, Enid."
I was gripping the fabric of her shirt so tightly that I probably deformed it.
"I love you."
She rolled over and looked me in the eyes.
"What did you say?"
I pulled her closer and rested my cheek against hers. Her tears mixed with mine.
"I love you, Enid. I love you."
She put her hand on the back of my head and pulled me even closer, but she didn't say anything. I kissed her on the cheek, then on the forehead, then on the mouth. She didn't say anything. But I didn't get time to worry about that because it got heated. Too heated. What happened earlier that day was nothing compared to that moment. I just got lost in it. And before I knew it, she was straddling me. That wasn't for long though, because when she leaned in, I took the chance to roll over and end up on top. We were close to falling from the bed, but it was worth it. She was pulling me towards her, so strongly that, at some point, one of my arms gave way and I fell on top of her. That didn't perturb her, she was pulling on my shirt to untuck it from my skirt, and soon enough her hand was on my skin.
"This is okay?" she asked.
"Yes."
We were too close for her to even try and unbutton my shirt, so she focused on getting that skirt off of me. I felt how her hand first was on my thigh and then went up under it.
"Wait," I said.
She stopped.
"I- I can't do this, Enid."
She unsuccessfully tried to hide her frustration.
"I can't do this. It's not fair to me, it's not fair to Ajax, it's not even fair to you. You really have to make a choice, Enid. Because I can't do this to him or to us."

~~~

I woke up feeling exhausted, yet I felt good. Kind of like the morning after a stormy night, when everything is so loud and you can't properly sleep, but in a good way. I woke up, opened my eyes and hadn't moved since, even though my back was cold. I really wanted to pull the covers further up, but I was too afraid to wake up Enid. Somehow I convinced myself that by not moving, this moment would last forever. I loved our bodies being so intertwined; my cheek against her bare stomach and the rest of my body laying between her legs, her hand still in my hair, her legs embracing mine, and my hand still dangerously close to her breast. With each breath she took, I felt her stomach going up, and then down again. I didn't realize how dependent I had become on her until then. That perfect moment. From then on, things could only get better, right? She chose me. For once, she chose me. It was going to be alright. I sighed contentedly. Her body was so comfortingly warm under mine. I could just go back to sleep, but I didn't want to. I enjoyed this too much. But I knew that I would have to move eventually, so I tried to mentally localize my clothes in the room for later, unsuccessfully though. Last night was kind of a blur. Probably because of that hell of an emotional rollercoaster.
She was still sleeping peacefully when Mother knocked on the door.
"Wednesday? Enid? Breakfast is read-"
I couldn't exactly see her, but I heard that she had opened the door and promptly closed it. She had seen us for sure. At least I wouldn't have to tell her, nor Father, nor Pugsley, since half of the town would probably know about us in the next five hours. But even that wasn't enough to wake Enid up. I lifted my head and checked if Mother was really gone and had closed the door. Since she did, I positioned my head back, but this time I rested my chin higher up her stomach so I could see her face. She was so effortlessly gorgeous with her tangled morning hair. Her face was way more relaxed than just a few hours prior. Yes, I loved her. I always found those three words weird and hard to say, but when they come out of your mouth once, they roll out so easily. Especially with the right person.
Some minutes later, Enid finally woke up. And when she looked down at me, we locked eyes.
She smiled.
"Hi, Addams."
I kissed and climbed my way up to her cheek, then her lips, to finally plant a kiss between her nose and her mouth. That made her laugh. Good.
"Hi, Sinclair."