CHAPTER 24:

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Kakashi

I grabbed my hair and tugged trying to calm myself down, I looked down at the chair I destroyed when I threw a fit over y/n going on a date with Genma. Fucking Genma. 

I thought we were making progress, she no longer looked at me with only distrust; it was still there but at least it wasn't burning as bright but now she's going on a date with Genma?! Why him? Why anyone other than me? 'Battery operated doesn't count.' Tsunade's words ran through my mind and I let out a groan thinking about her fucking herself with a toy. 

"Fucking, Tsunade." I growled.

"Don't blame me for your mistake." Her smug voice sounded behind me and I turned to see her smirking.

"She wouldn't be going on a date if it wasn't for you." I gritted out.

"You're right, she wouldn't be but she needs to be reminded that she's a hot commodity and any man would be lucky to have her." She shrugged and my hands clenched. "I see you haven't given up though, I'm proud of you."

"And this is how you show that you're proud of me? By setting her up on a date?" 

"Does that mean you'll give up now?" She tilted her head and I growled.

"Fuck no."

"Good." She smirked. "They'll be at the bar in town, do whatever you want with this information." She waved before turning to leave.

"Why?" I asked her confused as to why she would set up a date then tell me where they were going.

She sighed and didn't turn. "Because for the first time since she was a child, I saw a spark of life that I thought died out and you were the one that brought that out. You're both perfect for each other but you both need to work through things first." 

"And a date is what will fix things?" 

"It's a gamble for sure. Either she will realize that she can move on from you or she'll realize that you're it for her like she's it for you. Just don't fuck it up, Kakashi."

I stood in the same spot for so long my legs felt numb, the clock ready 7:30PM and I was at war with myself trying to figure out what to do. 'It's a gamble for sure.' Tsunade's words bounced around like a beach ball, wrecking havoc while I made a decision. I cleaned up the chair, brought in a new one and closed up our offices before heading home. I could hear the bass of the bar from down the street and paused before shaking my head, when I got home I made dinner, read and got ready for bed.

The decision to not go to the bar may bite me in the ass but I figured I would place my bet in this gamble as well. I'm sure it wouldn't help her make a decision if I'm hovering, I want her to come to me because she realized that she wanted me above everyone else. So I closed my eyes and dreamed a life we would share, surrounded by love and happiness.

The next day, I beat y/n to the office; not surprising since she was probably out late last night. I didn't wake up when she got home like I thought I would and I refused to think she stayed at Genma's. 'Denial is bliss.'

I could hear her moving around and talking in her office when I finally came up for air after burrowing my head into the mountain of paperwork on my desk. When I heard her door open and close, I took a look at the clock and realized it was lunch time.

"Kakashi, are you honestly stupid?" Tsunade asked while entering my office.

"Oh sure, come on in." I drawled and she glared at me.

"I will." She jutted her chin. "Are you going to answer my question?"

I sighed. "No, I'm not stupid."

"Doubtful. You didn't go to the bar."

I shook my head. "I didn't go to the bar."

"Why not?"

"Because." I sighed. "I want her to make the decision on her own and I didn't think it would be easy for her if I was there." I shrugged.

She looked at me weird and I raised a brow. "What?"

"I'm impressed and I want to praise you but I cannot get over your stupidity right now." 

"Honestly Tsunade, I have no idea why you're calling me stupid. I'm glad I didn't go all caveman and show up, my jealousy would have gotten out of control and I probably would have done something really stupid."

She nodded slowly then grimaced. "I understand your logic but..."

"Did something happen?" I asked hesitantly, almost scared to know the answer.

"I don't know, she wouldn't tell me. Only that she went home with him last night." She murmured the last part and my heart dropped into my stomach. I tried to swallow passed the lump in my throat but was unsuccessful. 

"Oh.." The word came out hoarse and Tsunade's face turned sad. "I, umm--"

"Kakashi--" She started and I held up a hand.

"It's okay, Tsunade." I cleared my throat. "It's not your fault. I just.. I need to leave for a moment. Can you let her know that she can email me if she needs me, I just can't be here right now." I said softly and she nodded. I jumped out the window and took off. I ended up in a hot springs village a few towns over and checked into a hotel, only then did I let the emotions I was suppressing leak out. 

I took self care to the extreme for the next few days, lounging in the hot springs, comfort eating, stress eating, working out my aggressions, booking spa appointments and even getting massages to help relax me.

I tried to reason with myself, saying that maybe this was for the best.. Maybe we were meant to burn as bright as we did because it was never meant to last long. I could be friends with her, it would take time and a lot of effort but maybe one day.. 


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